sexuality issues with my 7 yo step-son

[swaymoe68]

Hello,

This is my first post and I really need some advice....I have a wonderful 7 year old step-son that I like o think I treat as my own. However we have come across one big issue... I think he is starting to have sexual feelings... I have had to stop helping him wash his hair because every time i would go in to help him, he would play with "himself" and giggle, I tell him it not OK to do that and he will continue and giggle.  We recently found out he will also do this to his mother.  He also co-sleeps with her.

The newest thing he has discovered is porn.... his mother did not have parental controls on her labtop and he was caught watching porn and admitted to doing so off and on all day.

My question is: Is this in anyway shape or form normal? 

We are thinking about taking him to a therapist but we are not sure if this is just a phase....

HELP!?!?

[reesesami]

Yeah, I thought that was a bit much. I help wash my nephew's hair when they spend the night at my house. They're my husband's brother's kids and we were married after they were born, so am I some kind of pervert for washing their hair?

Quoting JesusJunkie:

Wow! A step parent shouldn't wash hair, really!?!?

Quoting our3:

I wouldn't run to a therapist but would emphasize to him touching in only ok in private. Also block the internet for him, and monitor him every second he is online. And Stop washing the kids hair, he's 7 and your Step-son, that is not something a step-mother should be doing, if he needs help have his dad help him.

[hollydaze1974]

seriously? therapy? for a sexuality curiousity? at six, I was humping my stuffed animals after being put to bed or out and out masterbate.
Have you not explained firmly "No, not here. That is private and you do that in your room, alone, with the door closed. Tell him what it's called. and for god's sake tell bio to get some parental controls on that laptop.
But again? therapy? it really isn't necessary...parenting though the hard stuff is. Good Luck

[raczac]

My nephew at 5 told his mom his was growing when the water hit it. Then when both of my boys turned 5 they told me the same thing. My younges can't keep his hands out of his pants so we just tell him he needs to go have some private time.

[Starleet]

 I am having issues like this with my son now. He will be 6 in October but he hasn't seen porn or anything that I know of anyways. He isn't on the computer unless I am right there with him and we don't have cable or any type of movies he could see it on. But it has gotten really bad, he says the oddest things and will laugh about it and so on. I try to correct him but it makes it worse it seems. :(

[mommyjenn84]

A child specialist and parent mentor I used to work with said this was absolutely normal. My 8 yo used to hump her stuffed animals too. I was so worried but she stressed it was ok amd shed likely out grow it, which she did.

I tell my 2yo son (started before he could even understand me when hed happen to.grab it during diaper changes) that touching his penis was for private.

Quoting hollydaze1974:

seriously? therapy? for a sexuality curiousity? at six, I was humping my stuffed animals after being put to bed or out and out masterbate.

Have you not explained firmly "No, not here. That is private and you do that in your room, alone, with the door closed. Tell him what it's called. and for god's sake tell bio to get some parental controls on that laptop.

But again? therapy? it really isn't necessary...parenting though the hard stuff is. Good Luck

[lillady398]

First of all, he's at the age for exploring himself and if hes being exposed to porn then thats the main issue. He's a kid  but if he is being told not to play with himself in front of you and his mother and he does it any way then he needs his butt whooped. Hes at the age to atleast know not to do it in front of family or anyone.  Im sorry for being blunt but I have twin boys that will be 7 yrs old next month and if they were to laugh at me when I tell them to stop touching themselves in front of me I would flip out. 

He  need to know that his actions will not be tolerated.

[andyroosmama]

 Not at that age... my 14yr old got caught at my mom's last year... but my 8yr old and 6yr old haven't made it to that point yet... 8yr old has asked about sexual predators, but that's it

[Jinx-Troublex3]

Touching himself is totally normal. Teach him it is ok to tough himself when if teels good but there is a time and place for it. In the shower, in his room, etc.

That he got on the internet and found porn may or may not be normal. How did that happen? Did he search something simple and hane a typo ..aka lego -o = legs= porn hit. Or didhe purposely search "naked girls"?

It is past time to add parental controls..I like K9 online protection.

Quoting mommyjenn84:

Touching himself IS normal and Im sure he does it at other times too.



His mom does need to lock her computer though. I can't even believe he was able to have that much access ”off and on all day”. Hes so old enough to wash his own hair.



I would STRESS that while touching himself is normal and ok, it is not ok to do it anywhere but in private.

[swaymoe68]

We an not sure how he found the porn when his mother asked him what he was doing he told her he was watched PBS Kids that's when she saw a reflection of what he was watching and asked him again.... He slammed the laptop shut and ran, hid and cried. I was helping him wash his hair only when his dad wasn't home to help... As I have said before I treat him as my own and don't see an issue with that. I am not so worried about him touching himself it's the fact that he does it infront of me or his mother that bothers me

[our3]

No a STEP- parent should not be in the bathroom with a STEP-child while naked! Its not like the kid is a toddler, the kid is 7 years old ! Thats just wrong.  

Quoting JesusJunkie:

Wow! A step parent shouldn't wash hair, really!?!?

Quoting our3:

I wouldn't run to a therapist but would emphasize to him touching in only ok in private. Also block the internet for him, and monitor him every second he is online. And Stop washing the kids hair, he's 7 and your Step-son, that is not something a step-mother should be doing, if he needs help have his dad help him.