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What lesson is this teaching, really

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We've all seen them... or maybe you are one of them...

Parents who have a defiant child so much so that the parents walk away knowing the child will finally realize that mom left and follow crying.

So what lesson does this teach? Does it teach the child they are not the boss and that the world doesn't revolve around them and their fits OR does it make a clingy child that is afraid of mom leaving them in a big scary place?



by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 1:57 AM
Replies (201-201):
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 12:58 PM

It depends the mom and the child. I am one of these parents who will walk away from my child after telling them to come on and counting to 3. I start walking but they are never out of my sight even though they think I'm not looking at them. I use it age appropriate and place appropriate. My child never follows crying but will move into a speedier gear to catch up to me so that we can resume walking in unison. I'm not teaching my child they aren't the boss as they already understand this from other instances. I'm not teaching them the world doesn't revolve around them because at my home, it really does in many instances. It certainly hasn't made any of my children clingy or afraid of any place. Instead it lets them know when I'm serious and gives them the choice to correct their response. I don't want to be doing time outs in the store but I have before. I also don't want to spank my child ever. It is a corrective tool in my back of behavior modifiers. I like to change them up so that my kids do not give over corrected. They for the most part always know what they are doing is wrong and they generally can anticipate the consequence for any undesirable behavior. I'm teaching them they have free choice in matters but not free will. They also are learning that every choice has a consequence. The consequence can be good or bad but for everything they do a result will follow. Again, my child is never far enough away from me when I start my walk. They have been warned and then given the count of 3 to change their minds. I never can not see them. I've only had to do this about 5 times with my 3 children over 6 years. My 6 year old only tried me once, the 1 year old has tried me once but is not old enough for me to give this reaction and so the other 4 times have been my 3 year old that is special needs and defiant. She hasn't tried me in awhile so I've seen progress. Hope this helps but I still think it depends the parent and the child.

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