We've all seen them... or maybe you are one of them...
Parents who have a defiant child so much so that the parents walk away knowing the child will finally realize that mom left and follow crying.
So what lesson does this teach? Does it teach the child they are not the boss and that the world doesn't revolve around them and their fits OR does it make a clingy child that is afraid of mom leaving them in a big scary place?
Cindy
I'm cracking up over the posts where the older child defends the younger one. Because my 7 year old is the same way with his 3 year old sister.
I threaten to sell them on eBay. They've seen me sell their baby clothes, so I think they partially believe me. At least they did, but I think I've over used it now.
As to the question, depends on the kid. I don't threaten to leave my kids. I tell them to come on or I'm buying them a leash. (One of those back pack kid friendly one) I've showed them that in the store and told them if they run around in the store, or won't come when I tell them to, I was going to buy them it. That's worked really well.
Of course I'm actually serious about the leash, where I am not serious on eBay.
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I very rarely bother to check a board twice, so debate, get mad, or whatever it is that'll make you feel better, if you don't like what I have to say, because it won't bother me :)
My daughter used to have horrible nightmares so I had to be very careful about it. I never threaten to leave my kids, but I do walk away. I just tell them, "you're hurting my ears, I am going in the other room" or "I have shopping to do, you can join me when you're done". They get the point that I am not going to stand there and listen to them scream, but they never get the idea that I would abandon them.
I know why mom's DO it... to show them that the mom isn't going to cater to the tantrum and stick around.
HOWEVER, I think the crying goes from "I want something I can't have" to "OMG MOM!!! SERIOUSLY!?!?" and it becomes instant fear... so it's not a productive way to deal with it.
It's a toughie... because at home, I most certainly walk away from my daughter, or put her in her room when she's havng a fit. I tell her she needs to calm down and come out when she's ready to play nice/talk nice.. or w/e the case may be. She throws her fit alone, without an audience... and it definitely stems the desire to throw fits! So it WORKS.
But again, that's at home. Threatening to abandon your child in public isn't really a good idea. In public places, I will still remove her from her audience... usually take her to the car, or to the side of the building or in some place that is descreet. And then I'll tell her to "stomp it out"... which is that she has to stomp her feet for 30 seconds straight. She starts out okay for about 10 seconds but after about 15 it gets to be a pretty good workout and she deosn't really like it! BUT, it gets the frustration out. And she doesn't have a crowd to entertain, so her level of encouragement, anger, and the desire t continue is all gone.
But that's just me!!
Is there any way to make tying shoes fun?
- Cindy18
on Jun. 21, 2012 at 1:57 AM