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Step mom is NOT a MOM only a "legal title"?

Posted by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 9:06 AM
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This is what I was told in a post I responded to. I thought if you remarried someone with children you were to be nurturing, caring, and provide unconditional love as if they were your own? Is that MY misconception? Is that woman right? Is a stepmom but a "legal title"?
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by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 9:06 AM
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Reina13
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2012 at 9:26 AM
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If my children had a stepmom, I would want that woman to  be 'nurturing, caring and provide unconditional love'. I would be thankful for that.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jun. 23, 2012 at 9:30 AM

I guess that it really depends on the family and the situation.  I have a few "step" nieces and nephews, yet we never, ever refer to them that way.  My MIL and FIL treat them exactly how they treat the other grandkids.  I couldn't imagine completely ignoring them because they aren't my real nieces and nephews.  They're kids and they didn't chose to be in a situation like this.

Now on the other side of the fence, my grandfather got remarried 5 years after my grandmother passed away.  His second wife isn't my grandmother or even my step-grandmother, she is my grandfather's second wife and nothing more.  I think that I feel that way about her because I was already an adult, I was married infact, and I didn't need a new grandma.  Not to mention that I don't really care for her.  So, she is just a legality for me.  My mother feels the same way, this lady is her father's second wife, not her step mom.

gilbertgrl627
by Member on Jun. 23, 2012 at 9:37 AM

A stepmom is a mom. Or, she should be. And that means all the good and bad that come with being a mom. My mom was more of a mother to my brother (technically stepbrother, but we've been a family since he was about 3, so he's my brother- blood or not) than his own mother was. The same could be said about my dad (technically stepdad, but he raised me)- he was way more than just a stepfather, and it would be a slap in MY face if someone said he was only a dad "in title". Because he's not. And my mom's not.

Now, I'm sure there are some stepmoms out there who don't put much effort into it. And who don't want to put much effort into it. But the vast majority (IMO) want to make sure that their kids (step or not) are taken care of. And loved. And nurtured.

chris13
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 9:38 AM

I have several friends that are step-moms. they also took on the responsibility of these children when they were not even married to thier husbands at the time when the father had legal custody of these children when the mother was not able to. one biological mother was mentally unstable and abondoned her daughter at a few months  to the fathers care. the other biological mother was just not finationally and emotionally able to care for her autistic son.

they took on the love and caring for these children. DON'T tell me they are just a title. they have been in the trenches with these children. they are MOM to these  kids.

janitablue
by Janita on Jun. 23, 2012 at 9:44 AM
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I agreed with reina's comment . Honestly you have to look at it from views of the child and the child mother. IF you carry a child for nine month and you seperate from your child due to circumstances. The father is remarry or have a significant other she can not take place of the mother but will forever be important role to child 's life. Don't get caught up with the labels the child will love u for who you are that all that matters .
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momieoffive242
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 9:46 AM

i had 4 when i was growing up the only one that seemed to care for us was the last one i cried so hard when she passed a way i would she was like our mom others was just a legal title

jaytee
by Jen on Jun. 23, 2012 at 9:53 AM
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It really depends on the family. IMO of you're a "step" anything to someone you should treat them fairly, especially a child.

My kiddos "stepdad" is more of a dad to my older 2 then there bio dad has ever or probably ever will be.
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soymujer
by Mikki on Jun. 23, 2012 at 10:42 AM

I have raised my step daughter since she was 3.  I love her as if she was my own.  I don't even call her step, just daughter.  I am the only mom she has ever known.

Just as my husband loves and cares for my boys as if they were his own.

family in the van   Mom of four


M4LG5
by Gold Member on Jun. 23, 2012 at 10:45 AM
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I would hope the stepmom is nice and caring BUT if my husband remarried, she would never be called mom nor would she make a decision as their mom......that's my job.
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M4LG5
by Gold Member on Jun. 23, 2012 at 10:46 AM
That's different. My husband is the only dad my oldest knows. Her bio dad is not in the picture. She called my husband by his first name until about 2 years into our relationship. Had her bio dad been there....I would not have allowed it.

Quoting soymujer:

I have raised my step daughter since she was 3.  I love her as if she was my own.  I don't even call her step, just daughter.  I am the only mom she has ever known.

Just as my husband loves and cares for my boys as if they were his own.

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