Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Need advice about handling a tattletale.

Posted by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 2:29 PM
  • 21 Replies

Hi moms, I need some advice.

DD (almost 6) is in her school's summer camp and one little girl, who was in her kindergarten class, is always coming up to me tattling to me about my daughter when I get there to pick her up.  She's always telling my that DD is mean to her and calls her names.  We're not talking about 4-letter words here, just silly words that 5 and 6 year olds make up (yesterday it was bootybutt).  I always tell DD that it's not nice for her to call people names even if they're being mean to her.  DD has also repeatedly told me, since about halfway through last school year, that this little girl is mean to her and sometimes won't let her play with some of the other girls.  So, I tell her that if someone is being mean to her that she should find someone else to play with that is nice to her.  I think my daughter and this other little girl are kind of like oil and water - they're both sweet girls, but they just don't get along very well.

I'm sure my daughter's not completely innocent, but I don't think the other little girl is either.  I've asked the camp counselors about DD's behavior and they say that she's been having pretty good days.  If anything big happened I'm confident that they would tell me about it.  Anyway, I'm tired of this little girl continually coming up to me and tattling on DD but I'm not sure how to discourage it.  As I mentioned before, I talk to DD about name calling but I'm not going to discipline her for something that I didn't witness and that the camp counselors haven't mentioned to me.  What would you say to a child that repeatedly came up to you to tattle on your child about little things?

by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 2:29 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
momieoffive242
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 2:34 PM

just like you said you didnt see it and no one esle did  and tell her no one likes a tattletale work for  one of my twins she was bad at tattletaling

chinosruca
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 2:39 PM
Just tell the othef girl you don't want to hear it. Before she opens her mouth, tell her if she is going to say something about your daughter, to stay quiet. Kids don't tattle tale to me. They know how much I don't care.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Jun. 29, 2012 at 2:56 PM
1 mom liked this
Our house rule has always been UNLESS there us blood or bodily harm involved, solve it yourself! That rule started about age 3 and it has remained in effect.
krilerby
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 4:19 PM
1 mom liked this

I always ask my kids "Is someone bleeding?  Is something broke? No, then I don't want to hear it"  lol  I don't deal with tattling just to get the other party in trouble.. In my house the tattler gets in trouble. 

gracieb3
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 4:23 PM
2 moms liked this

I handle tattle tales the same whether my child or not. I ask as soon as they finish their story if they told me to help the person or was it to get the person in trouble? If it was to help then I thank them and tell them I will help them. If it was to get them in trouble, I explain that what they did is tattling and no one likes a tattle tale. I encourage them to always think about if they are telling to help or get in trouble. If not sure then they can ask me every time but as soon as they realize I will call out their tattle everytime and that the other person will not get in trouble they tend to only come to me for thanking when they are being helpful. =)

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jun. 29, 2012 at 5:04 PM


Quoting mjande4:

Our house rule has always been UNLESS there us blood or bodily harm involved, solve it yourself! That rule started about age 3 and it has remained in effect.

I have this same exact rule at my house and it works very well with my own children.  I also tell other kids the same thing when they try to tattle to me.  If someone isn't bleeding or seriously hurt, then I don't need to hear about it.

kmrtigger
by Kandice on Jun. 29, 2012 at 5:14 PM


Quoting steelcrazy:


Quoting mjande4:

Our house rule has always been UNLESS there us blood or bodily harm involved, solve it yourself! That rule started about age 3 and it has remained in effect.

I have this same exact rule at my house and it works very well with my own children.  I also tell other kids the same thing when they try to tattle to me.  If someone isn't bleeding or seriously hurt, then I don't need to hear about it.

Same rules here as well.

Hottubgodess
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 5:18 PM
I would tell the little girl she has two choices - tell a counselor so they can handle it or walk away. Then speak with the coynselors about keeping the girls separate.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Hottubgodess
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 5:22 PM
In our case I have to listen to it since I am helping an aspie learn social skills. I cant correct him if he or others dont tell me. Its a pain in the butt, but worth the time and energy.

Quoting kmrtigger:


Quoting steelcrazy:


Quoting mjande4:

Our house rule has always been UNLESS there us blood or bodily harm involved, solve it yourself! That rule started about age 3 and it has remained in effect.

I have this same exact rule at my house and it works very well with my own children.  I also tell other kids the same thing when they try to tattle to me.  If someone isn't bleeding or seriously hurt, then I don't need to hear about it.

Same rules here as well.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
luvcats406
by Bronze Member on Jun. 29, 2012 at 6:01 PM

I would just say, "thank you for telling me".  I feel it is not my job to discipline her.  Then I would ask my dd later what had happened and tell her to tell the counselors if the girl is mean to her and to ignore the girl.  This has worked well with my own dd.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)