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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

My soon-to-be 4th grader resists wearing a bra

Posted by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 9:18 PM
  • 216 Replies

My 9 year old is having a hard time getting used to the idea that she NEEDS a bra.  She simply won't wear one unless I insist, and even then there is whining, complaining, crying, screaming, etc.  And it's not just bras: she hates any sort of layering under her shirt (sports bras, camis, etc.).  But she is an early bloomer and her "growth" has become evident to the point of being embarrassing at times (at least for me, not for her, it seems).

When school (4th grade) starts in a few weeks she will be wearing a white shirt as part of her school uniform.  I don't know of any school rules, but I am concerned about teasing if she goes bare under her shirt.  How can I handle this situation?

by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 9:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mxcanapochamama
by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 9:25 PM
10 moms liked this

Maybe take her to diff stores and letting her pick out some tht she feels are comfortable.

MamìMexicana

wakymom
by Ruby Member on Aug. 9, 2012 at 9:26 PM
9 moms liked this

 Maybe have her dr. talk w/ her about it? A lot of kids tend to listen to other adults better than their parents, so while not happy about it, she might fight it less if the need for it is explained by someone else.

 

 

 

 

 

brittani
by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 9:27 PM
3 moms liked this
I hated wearing them too. I would have a talk with her. Tell here it's a part of growing up and she needs too. Maybe try some different stores. I use to wear sport bras for a while it was a compromise
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ProudMommy51006
by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 9:42 PM
7 moms liked this
I have the opposite problem. My dd begged for one in Kindergarten last year!
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steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Aug. 9, 2012 at 9:42 PM
39 moms liked this

I can remember that I fought my mom tooth and nail about bras, but my grandmother took me shopping, just the two of us.  She took me to a local department store and let me pick out my own bras and she got some for herself as well.  She treated herself to some lipstick and I got some lipgloss.  Then we went out to lunch and giggled about our purchases.  Funny thing is, this was 30 years ago and I remember it vividly.

Have you tried making a special event out of it, like it is something to celebrate?  That is how my grandmother made the shopping trip feel for me.  The lipgloss was an added 'big girl' bonus.

minimo77
by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 10:04 PM
3 moms liked this

Take a picture of her in a white shirt, then show it to her. She may not know what she looks like, ask if she wants everyone seeing them, or be teased about it. Does she need a real bra or is a sports bra type thing enough?

LexRi0709
by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 10:06 PM
2 moms liked this
I would just explain that its not a choice. Its for support, which although there may not be a lot there yet, it still helps. I would then take her out and let her pick out her own bras that she is comfortable with. Tell her she only needs to wear them outside the house.
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babynurse244
by Beth on Aug. 9, 2012 at 10:07 PM
1 mom liked this

This is what I was thinking. I didn't get a bra until I was in 6th grade. and my mom's prudish, so if I didn't get one until then, I didn't need it. Are the other kids teasing her? Can she wear a "cami bra" or sports bra? That's what we did with my SD. I took her shopping and let her pick out what she wanted. She chose the sports bra, I had her try on a few, she picked out 4 and we were done.

Quoting minimo77:

Take a picture of her in a white shirt, then show it to her. She may not know what she looks like, ask if she wants everyone seeing them, or be teased about it. Does she need a real bra or is a sports bra type thing enough?


Mommy2BeAmy
by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 10:09 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell her you will duct tape them...my dad did that and I had no problem sticking it on lol
She will most likely be teased...I was teased in fourth grade for wearing one...but my mom got me the sports bra with the thick straps lol nothing sexy about that
-StarsChildren-
by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 10:13 PM
5 moms liked this

Honestly? I'd take her out and let her pick out an undershirt (like a spaghetti strap shirt, either with or without a built in bra, loose fitting and comfortable). I personally cannot stand the things and in a lot of countries they don't wear them quite as religiously (if at all) as America...I see no point in them. SD is 15, she hardly ever wears one and goes to a school that requires a dress code (one of which is a white shirt) but the shirts aren't thin and you can't see anything really.
Is your DD shirts thing and lightweight, can see everything through? If its a heavy cotton, let her go without (short of having water dumped down the front of her no one is gonna see anything). If it is lightweight, take her shopping and let her pick out something to wear under it, be that a bra, a cami, a sports shirt, or just a plain old tank-top.

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