She thought she had all of the words right, but instead, missed 3 out of 6. Two of the words (lip and sit) she missed because she spelled them with an "E" instead of an "I." The third word (pit) she missed because she "forgot to finish it." (She wrote "p.")
The teacher sent the test home for me to sign and wrote a note for my daughter to write the missed words on the back of the page 3 times each. Oh, the crying that ensued! The page was so tear-stained by the time she finished writing the words, it looked like lined polka-dotted wrapping paper!
I tried to tell my daughter it was no big deal and just one test and the important thing was that she learned from her mistakes. (You know, all the cliche stuff we parents whip out in these times of crisis.) But she was pretty much unconsolable and insistent that she was "the only one who missed a spelling word!" I assured her that was far from the truth, but of course, I'm just Mommy - what do I know, right? My daughter's happiness and entire future are ruined for all eternity! The end of the world is sponsored by the words "lep," "set," and the letter "p."
So what's the best thing to do next time around? I was a highly sensitive child as well, and bad marks would send me into a state of bitter tears and dismay, too. When I broke down, though, I'd get ridiculed by my peers and angry lectures by my teachers and parents to "toughen up and get over it." I so do not want to do that to my child!
How do I handle meltdowns over unsatisfactory marks?
Let her know that you proud of her for doing her best and that is all you can ask for.
Trying to be creative here and helping you create a little diversionary tactic so the pain is not as much.....
Before your daughter writes the three missed words each time, draw a picture of each and write the correct spelling so she can see what the correct spelling is.
If you have a set of magnetic letters that you can use on a cookie sheet, spell them out or let her copy from a correct spelling of the word.
I really believe that part of her problem is how she is hearing the word. It is very common to mistake the short i sound as in "lip" for "e".
The other thing I highly suspect is that the word might have been proceesed incorrectly the first time or she has not gotten enough practice with it to commit it to memory.
That is where you, Mom can help her before she has the test. Practice at home with the magnetic letters to make sure she has the spelling correct to begin with.
A child does much better when they can see, hear, and touch anything the first time around.
Having been a Bilingual/ESL teacher to Newcomers to the United States I know this all too well.
If a child doesn't receive that information the first time to plant into what I always referred to as the "brain's computer", it is going to take a long time to correct it...:( .
So I taught it through sight and exaggerated sound as best I could the first time.
Also working with words in a repeated fashion, using the correct spelling is good also: You, Mama, writing a short sentence, like "I see your lip" and her hearing you say it will help her get that into her brain's computer correctly.
Another idea before the test is to write the word and leave out a vowel or a consonant: ex: l _ p, p i _.
I know this sounds like a lot of work. It is worth it in the long run.
I am rooting for your child. :)
May she have success!!!!!
((Hugs)), Mama
Veronica
Quoting LadyJag:
You would think so, the way my first grader reacted to her first "Unsatisfactory" mark on a spelling test!
She thought she had all of the words right, but instead, missed 3 out of 6. Two of the words (lip and sit) she missed because she spelled them with an "E" instead of an "I." The third word (pit) she missed because she "forgot to finish it." (She wrote "p.")
The teacher sent the test home for me to sign and wrote a note for my daughter to write the missed words on the back of the page 3 times each. Oh, the crying that ensued! The page was so tear-stained by the time she finished writing the words, it looked like lined polka-dotted wrapping paper!
I tried to tell my daughter it was no big deal and just one test and the important thing was that she learned from her mistakes. (You know, all the cliche stuff we parents whip out in these times of crisis.) But she was pretty much unconsolable and insistent that she was "the only one who missed a spelling word!" I assured her that was far from the truth, but of course, I'm just Mommy - what do I know, right? My daughter's happiness and entire future are ruined for all eternity! The end of the world is sponsored by the words "lep," "set," and the letter "p."
So what's the best thing to do next time around? I was a highly sensitive child as well, and bad marks would send me into a state of bitter tears and dismay, too. When I broke down, though, I'd get ridiculed by my peers and angry lectures by my teachers and parents to "toughen up and get over it." I so do not want to do that to my child!
How do I handle meltdowns over unsatisfactory marks?
I agreed with the comments that were made in this post. You are doing all the right things . Let her know she is only human and human tends to make mistake. Good luck
Alyssa gets her spelling words every Monday and the test is on Friday. Monday, I write the words for her on 3-lined paper and have her write the words next to mine 2 more times. (Her teacher said she has to improve her handwriting too!) Tuesday and Wednesday, she writes the words 3 times each.
On Thursday, I give her a quiz by calling out the words to her and having her write them on a blank paper. She got them all right when I quizzed her, so I suspect she must be having trouble differentiating the short "i" sound and short "e" sound.
I am glad that the teacher is using phonics! That is so wonderful! She will be thankful for that one day. There are many schools that have retired the phonics and are teaching "inventive spelling". That isn't teaching at all.
Your daughter wants to do her best and she realizes that she doesn't want any bad grades, so this is a good lesson. You are a good mom!
I am so glad I am not alone! Me and my DD are the exact same. She is highly sensative and I was, too. I also was told that I need to stop being so sensative (still do) and people try to tell my DD the same thing but I REFUSE to let people pound this in her head. She doesn't need to stop being sensative. She does need to learn how to not let things bother her and/or how handle it when it happens. I let her cry (crying helps me feel better) and when she is done we talk about it. It's so rough when you have a sensative child but it's good to be able to relate to them. It has helped when I could give her an exmple of times I felt the way she feels. It doesn't always work and there are still times she thinks I don't know what I am talking about but I still say what I gotta say and leave it alone. Sometimes it sinks in and sometimes it takes some additional help. My daughter sees a counselor who helps her realize when she is making a "mountain out of a moehill" (she hates this phrase lol).
He called my 5yr old fat.
- LadyJag
on Sep. 10, 2012 at 9:36 AM