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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Should Schools Ban Special Daddy/Daughter & Mother/Son Events

Posted by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:04 PM
  • 525 Replies
4 moms liked this

Schools Should Ban Special Daddy/Daughter & Mother/Son Events

Posted by Jeanne Sager

daddy daughter danceFirst it was dodgeball. Now the age-old tradition of father/daughter dances at school is being phased out. But don't worry! Mother/son traditions are getting the heave-ho too.

A Rhode Island school district is blazing the trail, calling these gender-specific activities "discriminatory" after a single mom complained that her kid was left out of a daddy/daughter event because she didn't have a dad to accompany her. As a married mom, I can't agree with them more.

We live in a world where 11.7 million households have a single parent at the helm. We live in a world where same sex couples are finally making headway in the fight to adopt and raise kids. Telling girls they need to bring a daddy to an event or boys that they need a mommy is automatically cutting out a whole lot of kids, distancing them from their peers in a time when kids are already so split that we have a bullying epidemic on our hands.

These kids don't need another reason to feel uncomfortable around their classmates, especially not in the so-called "safe space" that a school is supposed to provide.

And quite frankly, neither do parents ... any parent, whether single, gay, or partnered up with someone of the opposite sex.

We don't need to hear from the school that one gender of parent is more important than the other. Maybe it's because I grew up in a poor school district that didn't have the fund for these gender-specific events anyway, but I've never quite gotten the allure of one parent in particular being lauded over the other.

Last year my daughter's teacher sent home an invite to help make gingerbread houses that specifically stated there was room for only one adult helper per child. We let our daughter choose, and she picked my husband. Technically it was better for us based on work schedules, but I won't say it didn't hurt a bit.

I want to be there for the moments big and small ... and so does my husband. That's part of being a parent. The two of us have made a point of deciding who goes to events at school based on our family's needs, not on some outdated notion that little girls need their daddies more and little guys are mama's boys.

What's your take on daddy/daughter and mother/son events at schools?

 

by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Fields456
by Bronze Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:07 PM
21 moms liked this
I think father daughter and mother son events are nice Just like mother daughter and father son things
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jillbailey26
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:08 PM
44 moms liked this

I think it's sad that they're cutting out this special tradition and I'll just leave it at that.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

mommasaint
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:11 PM
84 moms liked this

I was just watching a news story on this....

I think it's BS to ban something based on ONE persons feelings. I am sure the little girl had an uncle, a grandpa or somebody who could've taken her. My girls LOVE the daddy daughter dance that they have here each year, and it's a huge fundraiser. We also have a mother/son dance and while DS doesn't claim to love it to pieces I know he enjoys our night out. 

This is like saying there should be NO parent volunteers in school becasue some kids might feel left out that their parents aren't able to volunteer. This mother simply should of arranged another escort for her daughter if she wanted to participate. I bet you money she would not of been the only one at the dance without her biological father. 

ProudMommy51006
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:16 PM
9 moms liked this
I was all with the article, agreeing, until the 2nd to last paragraph. "It hurt a little..." Really? There was only enough room for one parent... This has nothing to do with the article...

But yes, because there are so many single parent homes, it's not cool to do the events where the child brings a certain sex parent. If it is an event for the child and a parent, I think whichever parent is avail should be invited... How sad to remind those kids that they don't have a mom or a dad and tell them, "sorry, than you can't go."

My dd had a field trip last year and she chose my mom as her adult volunteer. I was ok with that lol
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Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:33 PM
29 moms liked this
I'm all for these events, however, maybe a name change is in order...Instead of daddy/daughter make it "my main man" so they can bring an uncle, grandpa or a family friend...Ditto for the boys...
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mrsmac521
by Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:40 PM
8 moms liked this

 I think it  is sad that they are getting rid of them!  I can't wait for mother/son events.  My son's preschool had daddy days, where dads would come in and do projects with the kids.  And both my son and my DH loved it.  The kids that did not have a father figure brought in uncles, grandpas, and what not. 

JZB
by Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:43 PM
37 moms liked this

I think it's crap, sorry but you can't accommodate everyone all the time.  It's our struggles that make us stronger.  Do I feel bad for the girl YES but I doubt they'd stop her from bringing an uncle or whatever.  Oh ya lets band dad's from walking their daughters down the aisle too.  SMH 

When I was little my best friend's father couldn't make a daddy/daughter event, my dad filled in for her too.  The mom could of also made a special mommy and daughter night for just the 2 of them

sunflowers12
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:47 PM
11 moms liked this

if we band these events then everything else is up for grabs lets start baning everything ... silly and a waist of time and theirs aways someone somewhere ruining something cool for others just cause they choice to be a certain way doesn't mean you/they have to take stuff away from everyone that not that way.. same goes the other way around.. why so much special treatment for only one group of ppl??shrugging

MsLogansMommy
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:49 PM
11 moms liked this

I agree that they should do away with them because it is completely unfair to the children that are being raised without both parents. I can see the other side hearing your comments about how those kids can bring an uncle or something but it still feels a little like your saying "tough shit you dont have a dad i dont care cause my child does but here is a consolation prize find any man and bring him" thats a little selfish and not showing much compassion towards kids that dont have fathers in their life. How would you feel if their was a big event and a specific race was excluded or only parents under a certain age or only parents with expensive cars any way you look at it excluding children is unfair and kind of hurtful especially if they already struggle with the fact that they are being raised with only one parent. Try putting yourself in that childs place or even in the single parents place and really feel how bad that would feel.

Reina13
by Bronze Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:55 PM
6 moms liked this

I completely agree with you. This is ridiculous.

Quoting JZB:

I think it's crap, sorry but you can't accommodate everyone all the time.  It's our struggles that make us stronger.  Do I feel bad for the girl YES but I doubt they'd stop her from bringing an uncle or whatever.  Oh ya lets band dad's from walking their daughters down the aisle too.  SMH 

When I was little my best friend's father couldn't make a daddy/daughter event, my dad filled in for her too.  The mom could of also made a special mommy and daughter night for just the 2 of them


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