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Should Schools Ban Special Daddy/Daughter & Mother/Son Events

Schools Should Ban Special Daddy/Daughter & Mother/Son Events

Posted by Jeanne Sager

daddy daughter danceFirst it was dodgeball. Now the age-old tradition of father/daughter dances at school is being phased out. But don't worry! Mother/son traditions are getting the heave-ho too.

A Rhode Island school district is blazing the trail, calling these gender-specific activities "discriminatory" after a single mom complained that her kid was left out of a daddy/daughter event because she didn't have a dad to accompany her. As a married mom, I can't agree with them more.

We live in a world where 11.7 million households have a single parent at the helm. We live in a world where same sex couples are finally making headway in the fight to adopt and raise kids. Telling girls they need to bring a daddy to an event or boys that they need a mommy is automatically cutting out a whole lot of kids, distancing them from their peers in a time when kids are already so split that we have a bullying epidemic on our hands.

These kids don't need another reason to feel uncomfortable around their classmates, especially not in the so-called "safe space" that a school is supposed to provide.

And quite frankly, neither do parents ... any parent, whether single, gay, or partnered up with someone of the opposite sex.

We don't need to hear from the school that one gender of parent is more important than the other. Maybe it's because I grew up in a poor school district that didn't have the fund for these gender-specific events anyway, but I've never quite gotten the allure of one parent in particular being lauded over the other.

Last year my daughter's teacher sent home an invite to help make gingerbread houses that specifically stated there was room for only one adult helper per child. We let our daughter choose, and she picked my husband. Technically it was better for us based on work schedules, but I won't say it didn't hurt a bit.

I want to be there for the moments big and small ... and so does my husband. That's part of being a parent. The two of us have made a point of deciding who goes to events at school based on our family's needs, not on some outdated notion that little girls need their daddies more and little guys are mama's boys.

What's your take on daddy/daughter and mother/son events at schools?


by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:04 PM
Replies (521-525):
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:46 AM
Awesome! :-)

Quoting MsLogansMommy:

Ur quoting an old thread if u look at any of my new posts u will see that I am backing up an idea that is fair to everyone

Quoting Fyrestar68:

I AM a single parent and I still believe they should not ban this. I'm not saying I don't empathize with both positions (daughter and mom), but REALLY? It is a special day for the kids. I think SHE was selfish because what just happened was MASS PUNISHMENT, for the one one is saying too bad you don't have a dad, you can't come. I'm sure she has a male figure in her life that can fit that role. I went with my neighbor because he was like a father figure to me. I think it's simpleminded people that can't think outside of the box (bring another individual) that make these silly complaints. This has nothing to do with racism, wealthy or poor (I'm sure there are wealthy kids out there with the same dilemma), but to accommodate one over many seems selfish to me.

Quoting MsLogansMommy:

I agree that they should do away with them because it is completely unfair to the children that are being raised without both parents. I can see the other side hearing your comments about how those kids can bring an uncle or something but it still feels a little like your saying "tough shit you dont have a dad i dont care cause my child does but here is a consolation prize find any man and bring him" thats a little selfish and not showing much compassion towards kids that dont have fathers in their life. How would you feel if their was a big event and a specific race was excluded or only parents under a certain age or only parents with expensive cars any way you look at it excluding children is unfair and kind of hurtful especially if they already struggle with the fact that they are being raised with only one parent. Try putting yourself in that childs place or even in the single parents place and really feel how bad that would feel.

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by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 2:53 PM

what we as adults think is irrelavent its how our kids feel and I know for a fact it hurts some kids feelings makesthem feel singled out ...I men even boy scouts isnt just for men and boys now thank god mothers can be completely invovled the world is different then it use to be everyone has to adjust to that

by Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 2:59 PM

I agree. They should just do child/parent/guardian activities. My father died when I was 11. I had a hard time with father/daughter activities, but it never occurred to me that others shouldn't do it though. 

by Silver Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:10 PM

Love this idea....Not all kids have both parents

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I'm all for these events, however, maybe a name change is in order...Instead of daddy/daughter make it "my main man" so they can bring an uncle, grandpa or a family friend...Ditto for the boys...

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:10 PM
They do those at our elementary school. Kids can bring any adult in lieu of a mom or dad. They still play No parties, though.
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