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4th grade sex ed videos (sorry,kind of long)

Posted by on Dec. 8, 2007 at 10:33 PM
  • 10 Replies

When I was a kid, I remember having a brief overview video in 4th grade, and a more detailed video about girls and a brief video about boys in the 5th grade.  And they split the class up and showed the videos to the boys and girls at the same time.  And they sent home a permission slip beforehand, so parents knew it was going on and could be prepared when they talk to their kids.  Well, my DS is in 4th grade, and last night, he asked me to talk to him privately (not around dad or brothers and sister).  When we were alone, he almost couldn't get the words out (he said it hurt his brain to think about it), but he finally told me that they separated the boys and girls, and the boys watched a Hardy Boys video (you know, the male counterpart to Nancy Drew), and when when they got back, one of the boys asked the girls what they did, because when they came back they were all giggly.  So one of the girls told them what their video was about.  My DS was all sad, asking me why do kids have to grow up so fast, why do they show this in elementary school and not wait till college? (awww, so sweet and innocent)  What I want to know is WHY didn't they do both sexes at the same time?  If they had, I would have gotten a permission slip, so I would have known what was coming and been able to talk about it with him first.  Instead, he's hearing things from people who don't know what they're talking about, rather than from his dad and I or the school.  DUH, if they show a video like that to the girls, somebody's going to say something!  I could have prepared him.  I am so upset that they did it this way.  And it upset my DS, too.  Am I right to feel like this?  Am I overreacting?  I just feel like I should have had a chance before he starts learning the wrong things from his peers.

by on Dec. 8, 2007 at 10:33 PM
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by on Dec. 8, 2007 at 10:38 PM
I agree that they should have sent a letter, if not a permission slip home to let you know what was going on. my son is also in the 4th grade and will be viewing and talking about those videos soon, but his school sent home notes and who to contact if we wished to excuse our child or who to contact if we wished to view the video first before it was shown to our child. That is how it should be done - you have a right to be upset.
by on Dec. 8, 2007 at 10:40 PM
I hate it that public school feels like it's their responsibly to educate our children in the sex education department in the first place.
by on Dec. 8, 2007 at 10:47 PM
I would be furious, there should have been a letter or something to you about this. You absolutely should feel upset, it is our jobs as parents to talk with our children about sex, not school. I don't want my child discussing, and asking questions to just anyone, because I don't know what their answers will be!
by on Dec. 8, 2007 at 11:50 PM

I am confused.  Was the video about girl's bodies changing and girls getting their periods or was it about sex??  I realize your son is only in the 4th grade but just last week my son's school sent home a letter about an incident where two 6th grade students were caught having sex in the bathroom.   Some parents don't teach their children about their bodies or sex.  My parents didn't talk to us about anything except to say  "Don't come home pregnant."  So I was grateful for anything  I learned at school.

by on Dec. 9, 2007 at 12:06 AM
Yes, I think they should have educated both boys and girls - seperately - on the same day.  As an adult we know that the kids will talk - more like whisper- about all this and no secrets will be kept.  I also think that they should have sent home a permission slip.  I am not against sex ed in school, I am for it but I think the school systems should work WITH the parents.  I think they should be stiving for making parental involvement extremely easy.  I know at my kids school they think they are doing a good job and that there are many opportunities to be involved but as a parent I can see and I experience how the school shoulders me, a parent, out of my childs development ( notice how I did not say education).  I can see how the schools have a long ways to go to be truely working for the good of the child and the family.  I want to suggest that you make your feelings known in writing to the principal or the correct person.  All these comments and suggestions will help the principals and teachers to provide the best care/ education possible. 
by on Dec. 9, 2007 at 12:26 AM
My daughter is in the 3rd grade and I told her this year about things.  I did this because like you I wanted a chance to talk to her before she hears lies and misconceptions from her friends or even have the school discuss this.  I did this because I knew the time was coming.  Already there are a couple of girls in her grade level that are developing.  I know it is kind of sad that you did not get the chance but remember it is important for the school to get this info to the kids.  Many of them are developing by this age and since many parents choose not to talk to their kids ever about this stuff it leaves it to the school.  Unfortunately if they wait to long it will be too late.  I work in an emergency room- nice suburban one and I have had a couple of instances of pregnant girls or girls that are very young having sex.  I have even had a few that were 14 and already had multiple multiple partners.  If more parents would be more proactive like you there probably would not be the need for it in school but they aren't.  I would probably talk to the teacher and tell her that although you appreciate the talk with your child you would prefer to know before hand when something of such importance is going to take place so you can be prepared at home for any questions your child would have.  This way maybe it is too late for you and your child but maybe it will make them think about it for the future.
by on Dec. 9, 2007 at 1:21 AM
as far as I know it was about girls' bodies changing, but it may have been about sex too.  I don't have a problem with them showing it to the girls, my concern is they know the girls are going to talk to the boys about it, they should give the boys parents a chance to explain things the way they want to first.  My son knows where babies come from - we have 3 kids younger than him, ages 7, 2, and 6 weeks, so with the last 2 we went through the talk with him.  And after the fact I explained to him that it was important for girls to know these things because it could be scary for them if it happened (getting their period) and they didnt know it was going to.  But I still feel like I should have been in the loop.  I also made sure he knows that if he ever has any questions he can come to me or his dad, I don't want him to think he has to go to someone else.  I told him there are changes that happen to boys too, but since I'm not a boy I don't know a lot about them, and his dad would answer any questions he might have.  At least I'm pretty sure he's not interested in boobs, LOL!  I breastfed my 2 year old and am now breastfeeding my 6 week old, and he never even notices!  LOL  But I am definitely going to let the school know how I feel, even if he did not have his own video that day, he still got an "education" and I should have known that was happening.
by on Dec. 9, 2007 at 9:16 AM
Actually, school is where some kids get sex education.  A lot of times parents are more involved in their own lives than in the lives of their children.  We need to educate the kids because it is getting to the point where at least 2 or 3 girls at my daughter's middle school are pregnant. 
by on Dec. 10, 2007 at 12:14 AM
they should have given you the heads up so you could deal with questions. I would contact the school and complain about how they handled this.
by on Dec. 10, 2007 at 6:39 AM
The school should have given you a heads up on this coming. It was wrong of them NOT to and IF I were you I'd be letting them know it too!
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