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Do You Have a Favorite Kid?

Posted by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:31 AM
  • 34 Replies

Dad Who Boasts About Favorite Son Should Learn to Keep His Trap Shut

Posted by Andrew Kardon

father son surfersUnless you have only one child, parents should never tell anyone that they have a favorite. Ever.

As for putting that in writing? You may as well kick one kid out to the curb and wish him good luck in life.

Canadian dad Buzz Bishop recently wrote a column in which he explained he has a favorite kid. He loves both his sons equally, but his 5-year-old is his favorite simply because he can do more things than his 2-year-old.

Buzz goes on to say that everyone has a favorite kid, whether they'll admit it or not. And as long as you're not acting on it by giving preferential treatment to one over the other, it's fine.

I'm sorry but that's a total load of crap. Just by saying you have a favorite already means you're giving preferential treatment.

If you enjoy spending time with the older kid more because he's your favorite and you act upon that, you're shafting your younger child by not spending time with him. And guess what, spending more time with that younger kid may make you realize he's pretty darn fun too.

More from The Stir: Kids With Siblings Are Just as Lonely as Only Children (VIDEO)

I have two sons. I love them both equally. At times it amazes me how much love you can have for a single child. And then it turns out you have just as much love for the other one. Crazy how expandable the heart is, right?

Do I have a favorite of my two boys? No. Do I prefer doing certain activities with one over the other? Certainly.

My younger one is a snuggler, so just snuggling up next to him in bed while we watch cartoons is awesome. My older one loves movies and popcorn, so it's a blast sitting next to him at the theater, as we get our hands covered in butter. That doesn't mean I don't like snuggling with my older son or sitting next to my younger one at the movies. It just means each kid has different tastes and I enjoy doing different things with each of them.

The worst part of this, though, is that Buzz doesn't see the damage he's causing. He put his thoughts in writing. When his kids are older, that 2-year-old is going to know that he wasn't his dad's favorite. Doesn't matter that his dad tried explaining he loves them equally and the younger kid just didn't do much.

It's still in writing. Clear as day.

Your dad had a favorite kid, and it wasn't you!

Hopefully Buzz has a favorite child psychiatrist too. I have a feeling one of his kids is going to need it.

Do you have a favorite kid?

by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:37 AM

No, but like the article said, each of my children has specific areas that makes them very enjoyable. My 10 year old DS is very serious and can hold long detailed discussions with me about anything. I love how curious he is about everything! My oldest daughter (9) is ALL girl. I love shopping with her, helping her choose clothes and she loves crafts of all kinds, which is right up my ally. I've taught her how to cross stitch, crochet and she is learning how to sew. My 6 year old DD is so athletic and quick witted! She will throw out one liners that leave me in stitches on a daily basis. My youngest DD (5) is so loving and still loves to spend time snuggling with me and has a great imagination. I love watching her play barbies, babies and dress up. 

by Emerald Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:39 AM

Yes, it would be any kid that isn't my own.  sidesplittinglaughter

In all seriousness though, that guy is reallying f-ing up his kids and I feel sorry for both of them.

by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:39 AM

I only have 2 kids...both boys. I don't have an overall favorite, but there are times that I prefer to be around one more than the other. I prefer to do certain things with one or the other, but not because I like one better.

by Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:50 AM
I don't see what the dad said as all that wrong he could have worded it better but said basically what the other posters have that he loves his children equally. I think its pretty natural when you have multiple children to have more in common with one over another.
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by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:55 AM
I have 4 kids. My 'favorite' changes hourly. It depends on which is behaving the best & who it behaving the worst lol (Ex: Do I want to color with the calm one or argue with the one throwing a tantrum? Coloring wins, hands down). I love all 4 of them equally :)
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by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 11:58 AM

No, I only have one, but my parents had a favorite. It sure did a number on the rest of us, even into aduthood.

by Bronze Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 12:02 PM
Yes, I do have a favorite but then again I only have one child lol.
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by Bronze Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 12:04 PM
My favorite kid is my one and only DD. I tend to agree, however, with the idea that most parents DO have favorites, they just don't admit it.

Growing up, it was clear I was my dad's favorite, and my older brother (I always referred to him as "golden boy") was my mom's favorite. Then my dad up and left when I was 18, and suddenly I felt even more like the "lesser" child!

Even now when I'm 39, it's clear (to everyone but my mom) that my mother favors my brother more. Not that I feel she doesn't love me abundantly! It's just I know that she loves him just a little bit more. My mom's friends and family have even said things to her about how she treats the two of us differently, favoring my brother in all situations. She was horrified and asked me if it were true!

I told her that yes, sometimes she does tend to go on and on about how great my brother is, without even a mention of her "other kid." I confessed that it sometimes hurt my feelings, especially on days I was feeling particularly sensitive, but that I knew she still loved me and that she never intended to treat us so differently, but that she is, after all, just a parent and prone to human imperfections just like the rest of us. I understood that seeing my father so blatantly treat me like a princess and my brother like a bum all those years would naturally make my mom want to nurture lift him up more to make up for the attention he didn't get from our dad.

She still has some of the "golden boy" moments, but it's not so blatant or often after we talked about it.
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by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 12:05 PM
1 mom liked this

The kid behaving the best is favored over the one(s) who aren't, but no one is the favorite.

"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

by Silver Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 12:21 PM
I have a fave kid, but then again I only have one child
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