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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Frustrated with DS's school....

Posted by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:51 PM
  • 19 Replies

My DS is in first grade. He has been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but does very well in school so we have no accommodations in place for the anxiety. He's sort of a model student as far as behavior, which is actually part of the anxiety since the thought of dissapointing his teacher is enough to make him physically sick :( (He is in therapy for that though). Anyway, he also receives occupational therapy twice a week. He has some difficulty with his fine motor skills. All writing, drawing, coloring, and cutting activities are extremely difficult for him. I work with him as much as I can, but his fine motor skills are just developing slowly.

So here's why I'm frustrated: Everyday part of his school day is to write sentences in his planner for the next day. This apparently takes him a very long time. He says that he's trying his hardest, and he just can't go any faster. Well, immediately following this writing time is his snack time. I send a snack for him to eat everyday. Twice this week, he has had to go without snack because he can't finish writing on time. One other day he missed recess. I get that he needs to finish his work, I really do. I wouldn't even mind if he has to finish it at home. I just don't think he should have to miss snack for it...it's not his fault. He really can't physically do this as quickly as his peers. The first time he missed his snack I spoke to his teacher. She told me she didn't know he had missed snack (this isn't true...DS told her), but she said it wouldn't happen again so I let it go. Now today he came home again with his whole snack. He hates school so much this year. I don't know what to do for him. He's a very smart kid. He can spell almost any word, he can read very very well. His math skills are amazing. He just can't do all of the fine motor stuff yet. I feel like he's being punished for something he can't help. Any advice?

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by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommyof11050307
by Bronze Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:54 PM
1 mom liked this

Call a meeting with the teacher if you don't get some where then go above her. I would suggest you get him evaluated by the child study team for an IEP. 

vicky33006
by Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:58 PM

I'm sorry. I was trying to keep the post short and forgot details. He is on a 504 and doesn't qualify for an IEP. The 504 legally should have him covered as far as the school having to accommodate him. I just really really hate to start the year off this way with the teacher. DS does like his teacher, but he absolutely hates school this year.

Quoting mommyof11050307:

Call a meeting with the teacher if you don't get some where then go above her. I would suggest you get him evaluated by the child study team for an IEP. 


Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 10:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Call a meeting with the Teacher, IEP rep and principal even if you don't do an IEP there is an 504 that can be put into place. Him missing snack isn't an option. That young going without something in their bellies isn't a good thing. The least he can do is have snack (goldfish, etc) while he's writing at least so he can get something in his belly. It will relax him, relieve some stress and pressure also. Or, have him stop when the other kids are finished, finish the sentences at home so he can eat snack. Either way, the teacher is putting to much pressure on him to finish, finish, finish when she knows he has anxiety and he is going to have behavior issues soon. My son has the same type of anxiety... it doesn't get better with pressure... trust me. I have it also. I have a fight or flight issue when people put me under pressure... or I'll completely freeze up.

Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 10:00 PM

HA... I just mentioned that in my reply :P

Quoting vicky33006:

I'm sorry. I was trying to keep the post short and forgot details. He is on a 504 and doesn't qualify for an IEP. The 504 legally should have him covered as far as the school having to accommodate him. I just really really hate to start the year off this way with the teacher. DS does like his teacher, but he absolutely hates school this year.

Quoting mommyof11050307:

Call a meeting with the teacher if you don't get some where then go above her. I would suggest you get him evaluated by the child study team for an IEP. 



Follow my weight loss Journey.... I have 120lbs to lose in 14 months....Can I do it by changing my diet and exercising more? We shall see!!!! http://www.myfitnesspal.com/luvmykidz04


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vicky33006
by Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 10:03 PM

Thank you! And I'm so sorry that you and your son are dealing with anxiety as well. I am anxious, but nothing like my DS...so this is all very new for me. I should have mentioned in the OP that DS does have a 504. The only accommodations written into his plan are fine motor ones though, and nothing about time in the classroom. It only speicifies therapy twice weekly. So I'm thinking I need to have some accommodations written in for the anxiety and some classroom accommadations for the fine motor? I don't know...

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

Call a meeting with the Teacher, IEP rep and principal even if you don't do an IEP there is an 504 that can be put into place. Him missing snack isn't an option. That young going without something in their bellies isn't a good thing. The least he can do is have snack (goldfish, etc) while he's writing at least so he can get something in his belly. It will relax him, relieve some stress and pressure also. Or, have him stop when the other kids are finished, finish the sentences at home so he can eat snack. Either way, the teacher is putting to much pressure on him to finish, finish, finish when she knows he has anxiety and he is going to have behavior issues soon. My son has the same type of anxiety... it doesn't get better with pressure... trust me. I have it also. I have a fight or flight issue when people put me under pressure... or I'll completely freeze up.


Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 10:43 PM
2 moms liked this

Definitely talk to the IEP counselor and tell them you need to revisit the 504 plan. You can revisit it as many times as you need to in order to get it set correctly for your child. It's there for a reason. Get it right now and at the beginning of every year because it helps with smooth sailing through the year. TRUST ME!

Quoting vicky33006:

Thank you! And I'm so sorry that you and your son are dealing with anxiety as well. I am anxious, but nothing like my DS...so this is all very new for me. I should have mentioned in the OP that DS does have a 504. The only accommodations written into his plan are fine motor ones though, and nothing about time in the classroom. It only speicifies therapy twice weekly. So I'm thinking I need to have some accommodations written in for the anxiety and some classroom accommadations for the fine motor? I don't know...

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

Call a meeting with the Teacher, IEP rep and principal even if you don't do an IEP there is an 504 that can be put into place. Him missing snack isn't an option. That young going without something in their bellies isn't a good thing. The least he can do is have snack (goldfish, etc) while he's writing at least so he can get something in his belly. It will relax him, relieve some stress and pressure also. Or, have him stop when the other kids are finished, finish the sentences at home so he can eat snack. Either way, the teacher is putting to much pressure on him to finish, finish, finish when she knows he has anxiety and he is going to have behavior issues soon. My son has the same type of anxiety... it doesn't get better with pressure... trust me. I have it also. I have a fight or flight issue when people put me under pressure... or I'll completely freeze up.



Follow my weight loss Journey.... I have 120lbs to lose in 14 months....Can I do it by changing my diet and exercising more? We shall see!!!! http://www.myfitnesspal.com/luvmykidz04


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Lilacity
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 10:49 PM
1 mom liked this
I would have a meeting with teacher and principle and 504 rep and lay out your concerns.
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JasonsMom2007
by Silver Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 10:55 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree and my son has anxiety as well. He goes to a charter homeschool so I am always with him but we are still working on an iep for him.


Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

Definitely talk to the IEP counselor and tell them you need to revisit the 504 plan. You can revisit it as many times as you need to in order to get it set correctly for your child. It's there for a reason. Get it right now and at the beginning of every year because it helps with smooth sailing through the year. TRUST ME!

Quoting vicky33006:

Thank you! And I'm so sorry that you and your son are dealing with anxiety as well. I am anxious, but nothing like my DS...so this is all very new for me. I should have mentioned in the OP that DS does have a 504. The only accommodations written into his plan are fine motor ones though, and nothing about time in the classroom. It only speicifies therapy twice weekly. So I'm thinking I need to have some accommodations written in for the anxiety and some classroom accommadations for the fine motor? I don't know...

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

Call a meeting with the Teacher, IEP rep and principal even if you don't do an IEP there is an 504 that can be put into place. Him missing snack isn't an option. That young going without something in their bellies isn't a good thing. The least he can do is have snack (goldfish, etc) while he's writing at least so he can get something in his belly. It will relax him, relieve some stress and pressure also. Or, have him stop when the other kids are finished, finish the sentences at home so he can eat snack. Either way, the teacher is putting to much pressure on him to finish, finish, finish when she knows he has anxiety and he is going to have behavior issues soon. My son has the same type of anxiety... it doesn't get better with pressure... trust me. I have it also. I have a fight or flight issue when people put me under pressure... or I'll completely freeze up.




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LucyHarper
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:26 PM
1 mom liked this

You should talk to them about what accommodations can be made until he gets his fine motor skills up to speed.

Tara922c
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:47 PM

I would talk to the teacher and ask if she can find some type of compromise so that your son has enough time to finish his work and have snack. Tell her that it is unacceptable for your son to miss out on snack because he doesn't finish his work unless your son didn't finish work because he is off task. Because your son does not have a 504 plan or an IEP, the teacher really doesn't have to modify assignments or give your son extra time, but I would hope she would make an exception for something as simple as writing in his planner.

In all honnesty, I would look into having your son evaluated for an IEP or 504 plan so that it will be required that he has extra time to finish his assignments. It may become a big deal when he has to write for a certain period of time for a grade or a state test.

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