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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Frustrated with DS's school....

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My DS is in first grade. He has been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but does very well in school so we have no accommodations in place for the anxiety. He's sort of a model student as far as behavior, which is actually part of the anxiety since the thought of dissapointing his teacher is enough to make him physically sick :( (He is in therapy for that though). Anyway, he also receives occupational therapy twice a week. He has some difficulty with his fine motor skills. All writing, drawing, coloring, and cutting activities are extremely difficult for him. I work with him as much as I can, but his fine motor skills are just developing slowly.

So here's why I'm frustrated: Everyday part of his school day is to write sentences in his planner for the next day. This apparently takes him a very long time. He says that he's trying his hardest, and he just can't go any faster. Well, immediately following this writing time is his snack time. I send a snack for him to eat everyday. Twice this week, he has had to go without snack because he can't finish writing on time. One other day he missed recess. I get that he needs to finish his work, I really do. I wouldn't even mind if he has to finish it at home. I just don't think he should have to miss snack for it...it's not his fault. He really can't physically do this as quickly as his peers. The first time he missed his snack I spoke to his teacher. She told me she didn't know he had missed snack (this isn't true...DS told her), but she said it wouldn't happen again so I let it go. Now today he came home again with his whole snack. He hates school so much this year. I don't know what to do for him. He's a very smart kid. He can spell almost any word, he can read very very well. His math skills are amazing. He just can't do all of the fine motor stuff yet. I feel like he's being punished for something he can't help. Any advice?

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by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:51 PM
Replies (11-19):
JasonsMom2007
by Silver Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:48 PM
Oh and I have a friend whose son is allowed to use a laptop in class for things like this because of his fine motor delays.
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vicky33006
by Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:50 PM
Thanks so much for the reply! I apologize, but I forgot to mention in the OP that his does have a 504. The only accommodation listed is the OT twice weekly.

Quoting Tara922c:

I would talk to the teacher and ask if she can find some type of compromise so that your son has enough time to finish his work and have snack. Tell her that it is unacceptable for your son to miss out on snack because he doesn't finish his work unless your son didn't finish work because he is off task. Because your son does not have a 504 plan or an IEP, the teacher really doesn't have to modify assignments or give your son extra time, but I would hope she would make an exception for something as simple as writing in his planner.


In all honnesty, I would look into having your son evaluated for an IEP or 504 plan so that it will be required that he has extra time to finish his assignments. It may become a big deal when he has to write for a certain period of time for a grade or a state test.

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vicky33006
by Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:51 PM
This seems absolutely ideal for him, but then again I know these skills are very important to develop. I just don't want him to feel like he's bein punished for something he can't control.

Quoting JasonsMom2007:

Oh and I have a friend whose son is allowed to use a laptop in class for things like this because of his fine motor delays.
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JasonsMom2007
by Silver Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:55 PM
I agree that they are important. Maybe he can type it in class then you can work with him on writing it at home?


Quoting vicky33006:

This seems absolutely ideal for him, but then again I know these skills are very important to develop. I just don't want him to feel like he's bein punished for something he can't control.



Quoting JasonsMom2007:

Oh and I have a friend whose son is allowed to use a laptop in class for things like this because of his fine motor delays.

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vicky33006
by Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:57 PM
I would most definitely do that... And I do. I wonder if that would be enough. I'm going to ask about something like this when I speak with his teacher. Thanks!

Quoting JasonsMom2007:

I agree that they are important. Maybe he can type it in class then you can work with him on writing it at home?




Quoting vicky33006:

This seems absolutely ideal for him, but then again I know these skills are very important to develop. I just don't want him to feel like he's bein punished for something he can't control.





Quoting JasonsMom2007:

Oh and I have a friend whose son is allowed to use a laptop in class for things like this because of his fine motor delays.

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AlohaTink
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 1:36 AM
Absolutely have it addressed! My ds has an IEP for ADHD and ODD and it has stuff written into it he isn't going to need to a couple years. Missing snack is unacceptable. Period.


Quoting vicky33006:

Thank you! And I'm so sorry that you and your son are dealing with anxiety as well. I am anxious, but nothing like my DS...so this is all very new for me. I should have mentioned in the OP that DS does have a 504. The only accommodations written into his plan are fine motor ones though, and nothing about time in the classroom. It only speicifies therapy twice weekly. So I'm thinking I need to have some accommodations written in for the anxiety and some classroom accommadations for the fine motor? I don't know...

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

Call a meeting with the Teacher, IEP rep and principal even if you don't do an IEP there is an 504 that can be put into place. Him missing snack isn't an option. That young going without something in their bellies isn't a good thing. The least he can do is have snack (goldfish, etc) while he's writing at least so he can get something in his belly. It will relax him, relieve some stress and pressure also. Or, have him stop when the other kids are finished, finish the sentences at home so he can eat snack. Either way, the teacher is putting to much pressure on him to finish, finish, finish when she knows he has anxiety and he is going to have behavior issues soon. My son has the same type of anxiety... it doesn't get better with pressure... trust me. I have it also. I have a fight or flight issue when people put me under pressure... or I'll completely freeze up.



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vicky33006
by Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Thanks so much! I will address it. I don't find it acceptable for him to miss his snack either

Quoting AlohaTink:

Absolutely have it addressed! My ds has an IEP for ADHD and ODD and it has stuff written into it he isn't going to need to a couple years. Missing snack is unacceptable. Period.




Quoting vicky33006:

Thank you! And I'm so sorry that you and your son are dealing with anxiety as well. I am anxious, but nothing like my DS...so this is all very new for me. I should have mentioned in the OP that DS does have a 504. The only accommodations written into his plan are fine motor ones though, and nothing about time in the classroom. It only speicifies therapy twice weekly. So I'm thinking I need to have some accommodations written in for the anxiety and some classroom accommadations for the fine motor? I don't know...

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

Call a meeting with the Teacher, IEP rep and principal even if you don't do an IEP there is an 504 that can be put into place. Him missing snack isn't an option. That young going without something in their bellies isn't a good thing. The least he can do is have snack (goldfish, etc) while he's writing at least so he can get something in his belly. It will relax him, relieve some stress and pressure also. Or, have him stop when the other kids are finished, finish the sentences at home so he can eat snack. Either way, the teacher is putting to much pressure on him to finish, finish, finish when she knows he has anxiety and he is going to have behavior issues soon. My son has the same type of anxiety... it doesn't get better with pressure... trust me. I have it also. I have a fight or flight issue when people put me under pressure... or I'll completely freeze up.



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MamaLori
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:09 PM

 You can adjust his 504 at any time. It's much easier than trying to add to an IEP. My son also has a 504 this year due to some vision issues and it states that the teacher is required to provide him a copy of all class notes. He is still required to write them himself but this allows him more time to write then. He then returns the teachers copy the following day and shows that he did finish writing them himself. It works great for him and saves so much stress on trying to finish on time.

Morrigan333
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 5:44 PM

i would as for a scribe for him just on account that it takes muct too long for him to copy the information. Maybe they could also just print it on a "ditto" for him.

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