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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids
I received a note home last Monday to come in for a meeting on Friday because of my sons behavior. So I went to the meeting on Friday. Had to leave work early to do this. So I sit down for our meeting and she tells me that my 5 year old isn't raising his hand all the time, and is calling the answers out instead. That he is also talking to much to his friends around him. The note she send home was very blank about what the meeting was for. Would you be annoyed if you were called into a meeting for this? I expected the issues to be a lot worse and took all his toys and fun away on Monday when I received the note home, because she didn't really say what it was about. I am annoyed cause she could have sent a note home the second or third day that this went on, and I would have spoken to him then.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:31 AM
Replies (11-20):
VeronicaTex
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:02 AM

I do have a question, Jennyanne. 

How are you going to solve a problem going on in the classroom from home?

The problem was a classroom problem.  In my humble opinion, the teacher has the right and the duty to call you in for a meeting to correct something that is happening in her classroom.

What you do at home is your business.  What the teacher ultimately decides to do in her classroom is hers.

I am glad you did take the time to find out what the problem was.

The teacher did ask for your input and included  you in what the problem was. Hopefully you two can take action in your own roles of Mother and Teacher with your son in using strategies to help you son behave better in the classroom.

Sincerely,

Veronica



Quoting Jennyanne322:

Her note didn't say anything to what the meeting was about. She told me the two times she was available to meet. I picked the time that would give me the least lost time at work. Sorry, but me having to leave work early is a big deal. Sending home a note saying what was going on would have been fine, but calling a meeting when you haven't told me the situation to where it gives me the chance to correct the issue is wrong. Send home the note and give me a few days to correct it. If its not corrected, then you call the meeting. They are 5 year olds. She has no say in my sons punishment either. She is his teacher and not his mother.

Quoting VeronicaTex:

Former teacher here:  I believe the note that the teacher sent stated enough:  your son's behavior in the classroom. Perhaps she could have mentioned the details:  that probably would have set your mind at ease. However,  since she chose to do it in the way she did, I would respect her decision. 

I would also reason that since the note was sent Monday, she was simply telling you that the time she would be available to talk would be Friday, giving you plenty of time to make arrangements. I would also be inclined to think the problem she was going to discuss with you was something that was not that urgent and might take time to solve. 

She wanted to share with you what that problem was in a peaceful, relaxed manner.

The formal meeting is for talking about details.

From my experience the best kind of meeting between teachers and parents are face to face. 

In addition, I also feel the best course of action to take when a parent receives a note is to remain calm, keep classroom business between the parents, the teacher and the child only.

I believe a great deal of damage can be done to the problem-solving process when close friends or the internet are part of the picture even before the meeting is held. To me that is NOT fair to the teacher.

You and she could have discussed appropriate punishment at the meeting, at least to be aware of how you were going to handle it at home, and then choose the punishment, if any,  you would give at home.

Veronica




VintageWife
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:02 AM
1 mom liked this
What a stupid reason to call a meeting and make someone miss work! I'd be ticked off. Next time she sends home a note, send one back with him that tells her you are not able to miss work but she is welcome to call you instead.
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VintageWife
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:04 AM
3 moms liked this
I don't agree with Veronica. A small child not raising their hand is never a reason to call an in school meeting. It makes the teacher look stupid and incompetent.
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Jennyanne322
by Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:07 AM
I didn't mind the face to face meeting if it was warranted for the situation. This situation, I don't feel it was needed for. It could have been handled with a note home. I am not sure if she does email. I will be looking into it though.

Quoting 3.ang3ls:

Get her email and explain your situation. Let her know you want to be involved but you can't miss work if it is something that you can work on at home after getting the details via a phone conversation or email chat.



I'm all for a face to face with the teacher, but I also know it isn't easy to miss work. I would have been annoyed if that is all the meeting was for.
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VeronicaTex
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:10 AM

That's ok, VintageWife.

This is NOT Elementary School Kids Debate.....

Different strokes for different folks.  :)

Veronica-Former classroom teacher of 21 years

Quoting VintageWife:

I don't agree with Veronica. A small child not raising their hand is never a reason to call an in school meeting. It makes the teacher look stupid and incompetent.


BelindaDuvessa
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:17 AM

I made it clear to his teacher that if she had any major issues, she needed to call me or send me an email letting me know what was up.  If it's something minor, like what you described, just to let us know when we picked him up.  Something as simple as "He's talking out of turn".  Communication is the key.  I made it clear what I expected of her, as his teacher, because I know my son is going to have issues with some things.  He's only in the First Grade, I don't expect his behavior to be perfect, but I do expect more than just "We need to talk".

In our District, Columbus Day is set aside for Parent/Teacher Conferences for this early in the school year.  And, it helped that we attended the Meet the Teacher night so we could talk to his teacher and come to an understanding before issues arose.  I think that has helped alot, honestly.

Jennyanne322
by Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:20 AM
1 mom liked this
What was accomplished by her calling a face to face meeting?
My son received the same conversation he would have gotten if she sent a note home saying DS is talking to his friends during class and is calling out instead of raising his hand. Can you speak to him about these issues and correct them?
He is 5, not 10. There was nothing accomplished by holding the meeting at all what so ever.
As a "teacher" would you call a parent in for a meeting for this situation without sending a note home beforehand trying to correct the issue?


Quoting VeronicaTex:

I do have a question, Jennyanne. 

How are you going to solve a problem going on in the classroom from home?

The problem was a classroom problem.  In my humble opinion, the teacher has the right and the duty to call you in for a meeting to correct something that is happening in her classroom.

What you do at home is your business.  What the teacher ultimately decides to do in her classroom is hers.

I am glad you did take the time to find out what the problem was.

The teacher did ask for your input and included  you in what the problem was. Hopefully you two can take action in your own roles of Mother and Teacher with your son in using strategies to help you son behave better in the classroom.

Sincerely,

Veronica



Quoting Jennyanne322:

Her note didn't say anything to what the meeting was about. She told me the two times she was available to meet. I picked the time that would give me the least lost time at work. Sorry, but me having to leave work early is a big deal. Sending home a note saying what was going on would have been fine, but calling a meeting when you haven't told me the situation to where it gives me the chance to correct the issue is wrong. Send home the note and give me a few days to correct it. If its not corrected, then you call the meeting. They are 5 year olds. She has no say in my sons punishment either. She is his teacher and not his mother.



Quoting VeronicaTex:

Former teacher here:  I believe the note that the teacher sent stated enough:  your son's behavior in the classroom. Perhaps she could have mentioned the details:  that probably would have set your mind at ease. However,  since she chose to do it in the way she did, I would respect her decision. 

I would also reason that since the note was sent Monday, she was simply telling you that the time she would be available to talk would be Friday, giving you plenty of time to make arrangements. I would also be inclined to think the problem she was going to discuss with you was something that was not that urgent and might take time to solve. 

She wanted to share with you what that problem was in a peaceful, relaxed manner.

The formal meeting is for talking about details.

From my experience the best kind of meeting between teachers and parents are face to face. 

In addition, I also feel the best course of action to take when a parent receives a note is to remain calm, keep classroom business between the parents, the teacher and the child only.

I believe a great deal of damage can be done to the problem-solving process when close friends or the internet are part of the picture even before the meeting is held. To me that is NOT fair to the teacher.

You and she could have discussed appropriate punishment at the meeting, at least to be aware of how you were going to handle it at home, and then choose the punishment, if any,  you would give at home.

Veronica




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VeronicaTex
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:28 AM

I am not going to ever say what I believe a teacher could or should have done, without her being around to defend herself.

That to me is being very disrespectful on my part.

I also believe putting a teacher down online, demeaning her in public like I have seen in this post tonight is very disrespectful also.

Goodnight, everyone. 

Veronica


Kris_PBG
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 6:50 AM
3 moms liked this
Those are disruptive behaviors in a classroom.

You should have inquired more about the behaviors prior to punishing him. For all you knew she was going to share that he has been tearful in school, not making friends and not participating in class - those are behaviors as well.

Teacher wanted to discuss a disruptive behavior, asked you to come in. Sounds normal to me.

It is not her fault you jumped the gun.
GwenMB
by Gwen on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:16 AM
2 moms liked this
Quoting VeronicaTex:

I am not going to ever say what I believe a teacher could or should have done, without her being around to defend herself.

That to me is being very disrespectful on my part.

I also believe putting a teacher down online, demeaning her in public like I have seen in this post tonight is very disrespectful also.

Goodnight, everyone. 

Veronica




Wow, so no one is allowed to disagree w a teacher here? I think one person said the teacher looked bad, everyone else just said they disagreed w what she did. Hardly being very disrespectful. While I agree that we should respect our teachers, that does not mean they are always right. If we can't come here & get opinions one teacher related things wo naming them, then we can't do that for anyone else.

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