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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

kindergartener can't get to school on time. Any suggestions?

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My daughter started kindergarten this year. She loves school, but getting her out the door in the mornings is a nightmare. She won't go potty, won't get dressed, runs and hides behind the sofa. Im currently on 2 more weeks of bedrest with a twin pregnancy, scheduled CS on 10/26, so I'm not much help in the mornings. She's making us crazy. She also goofs off, laughs and hides behind the sofa and won't come out until we physically drag her. She's late at least once a week requiring we get a tardy slip. I don't know how to motivate ger to get out the door in the mornings. Any suggestions? She gets enough sleep and we're allowing enough time, but having to force her to do things and chase her suck up every minute we have. We've taken away TV and her StarFall time and that doesn't seem to phase her or she isn't making the connection.
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by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:53 AM
Replies (41-50):
WesternNYmom
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 2:41 PM

My daughter used to do this. Drove me crazy.  It got to the point where dh and would have to physically pick her up out of bed and put her on the toilet so that she wouldn't wet herself or the bed in the morning.  One way I would get her moving was to pick out her clothes for her. DD hates it when I pick out her outfits. She wants to do it herself.  Everytime dd fought getting up, I would just walk over to her closet and grab an outfit for her to wear. The rule was, that if I had to pick out an outfit for her, she had to wear it.  After a few days of this, dd finally stopped fighting going to school.   I have also tried the idea that another poster had to make her earn tv time in the morning.  If my daughter got up when her alarm went off, and completed her morning routine without complaint, she got to watch 1 30mins show while she was waiting to leave for school.  If she gave us a hard time, the tv stayed off that morning.  It worked like a charm. We use this approach on both kids now.  So far, so good.

AmberRose1122
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 2:51 PM
I thought the same thing at first as well, but it works, he has started getting up and ready on his own without me and he even skips his treats. It's not going to last forever, but it was just about the only way I could get him to see how much better the day is if he starts it off right. He's also severely ADHD, and sometimes I have to take extreme measures with him.


Quoting LucyHarper:

Isn't that kind of encouraging the behavior...


Quoting AmberRose1122:

My 8 year old does the same thing. I started bribing him with candy and small toys. If he's up and ready in the morning, he gets a Hershey's kiss. If he does well every day of the week, he can choose a toy from the Dollar Store.



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yayay15
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 2:52 PM
It's going to be even harder when you have twins!!!
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babynurse244
by Beth on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:31 PM

Yeah, I completely get that.

Quoting yayay15:

It's going to be even harder when you have twins!!!


mjande4
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:36 PM
One thing that I will add that can help is a clothes organizer. Each of our kids had one from the time they were infants on. It hangs in the closet and there is a slot for each day of the week. Once they were in preschool on Sundays we had them pick their clothes for the week. They would put them in the slots and those were the clothes that were worn each day. That cut out A LOT of hassles in the morning. We had 3 under the age of 4 and my husband was the one who got them off in the morning. We don't have to do it anymore, but those slots stayed in their closets until at least 2nd grade.
babynurse244
by Beth on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:39 PM

We're already picking out clothes the night before or for several days in advance. I have the organizer. It's the behaviors in the morning (both hers and DH's thinking being late is no big deal) that need to change. I've tried everything.

Quoting mjande4:

One thing that I will add that can help is a clothes organizer. Each of our kids had one from the time they were infants on. It hangs in the closet and there is a slot for each day of the week. Once they were in preschool on Sundays we had them pick their clothes for the week. They would put them in the slots and those were the clothes that were worn each day. That cut out A LOT of hassles in the morning. We had 3 under the age of 4 and my husband was the one who got them off in the morning. We don't have to do it anymore, but those slots stayed in their closets until at least 2nd grade.


mjande4
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:41 PM

As I said in my first response, she needs to go to school in her pajamas.  That will only have to happen once and the peer pressure will take over.

Quoting babynurse244:

We're already picking out clothes the night before or for several days in advance. I have the organizer. It's the behaviors in the morning (both hers and DH's thinking being late is no big deal) that need to change. I've tried everything.

Quoting mjande4:

One thing that I will add that can help is a clothes organizer. Each of our kids had one from the time they were infants on. It hangs in the closet and there is a slot for each day of the week. Once they were in preschool on Sundays we had them pick their clothes for the week. They would put them in the slots and those were the clothes that were worn each day. That cut out A LOT of hassles in the morning. We had 3 under the age of 4 and my husband was the one who got them off in the morning. We don't have to do it anymore, but those slots stayed in their closets until at least 2nd grade.



VeronicaTex
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:46 PM

Oooooooooooooooo, Mama!!!!

How well I know what this is:  My daughter with Down Syndrome still occasionally does the same thing.  She's so happy and high-spirited that we are going out somewhere especially when she knows we are going in the car.  And yes, if I don't plan well, I am still chasing her.

I learned things the hard way. 

The other ladies had great ideas that I just might be repeating.  Thank you in advance, ladies!!!

I have learned to start waaaaay ahead of time since I tend to run late myself. 

I anticipate that she might be running.

I make sure clothes are ready, or since she is older, and if I am not in a hurry, she may pick from drawers I have put pictures on, just what she needs.

The better organized I am with things I need in the bathroom and in her bedroom to get both of us ready, the better.  That includes, because of safety, certain items are not stored in the bathroom. (hair dryer)

The item that has helped me the most in getting her to stay put was to shut doors to where she might "escape to" . 

In your home set up is there a way that your daughter can be prevented to go say to the kitchen and livingroom and concentrate mainly on the bathroom and bedroom.?

I feel for you being expecting.  That is taxing on you.

What I see is needed is that a routine has been established, and that it needs to be changed for your success in getting to school.

This routine should include  an order that will be consistent and be something that your daughter can build on in the future.

In my concrete-sequential mind in my home that means I have everything ready before I am even ready to set foot in the bathroom to do what both of us need to do.  Once we are in there, the door gets latched so she cannot get out.  I have the towels already set out, the hair dryer in place.  We both use the restoom first and then the shower begins. 

Perhaps you could work up a picture sequence that your daughter can see that has your particular routine in order. Do the routine, over and over, anticipating that there might be a break made.  Are there any doors that you can shut so that she cannot go anywhere else?

I feel you are blessed to have such a happy daughter in the morning, first thing!!!  I would look at her playing as she wants to have time with you.  You can gently redirect her and in helping her get ready, she will get her time with you.

I capitilize on my daughter's enthusiasm by saying " Look at you.  Getting ready to go out!!!!   I am so proud of you!!!!" I keep talking to her, complimenting her for things she does correctly!!!!

You will be forming a new routine.

I will gently suggest no threats with pajamas.  It breaks the mood.  It will be defeating what you are trying to set up for her life and in fact in my eyes means humiliation.

Of all the ideas I read, this below is my favorite: 

Hugs to you Mama.   I will be thinking of you both.

Take care!!!

Veronica


Quoting aetrom:

We had so many issues. Here is what I did. 1) woke him up 20 minutes earlier. 2) set the out the door time 15 minutes earlier. I drove and that way I was doing the rush out the door and I would get in the car and realize we would make it on time. I still do this! So on late mornings we are still early. :) 3) I set an alarm which gave a 10 minute warning and then I also said "the car leaves at this time, miss it and find your own way to school". Calmly, and I leave for the car at the scheduled time (I did this for a week, now they know when I leave we leave). ;)


babynurse244
by Beth on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:46 PM

I saw your first response and thought it was good, about taking her to school in her pajamas. I may do that. Still waiting to hear back from her teacher.

Quoting mjande4:

As I said in my first response, she needs to go to school in her pajamas.  That will only have to happen once and the peer pressure will take over.

Quoting babynurse244:

We're already picking out clothes the night before or for several days in advance. I have the organizer. It's the behaviors in the morning (both hers and DH's thinking being late is no big deal) that need to change. I've tried everything.

Quoting mjande4:

One thing that I will add that can help is a clothes organizer. Each of our kids had one from the time they were infants on. It hangs in the closet and there is a slot for each day of the week. Once they were in preschool on Sundays we had them pick their clothes for the week. They would put them in the slots and those were the clothes that were worn each day. That cut out A LOT of hassles in the morning. We had 3 under the age of 4 and my husband was the one who got them off in the morning. We don't have to do it anymore, but those slots stayed in their closets until at least 2nd grade.

 

 


babynurse244
by Beth on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:40 PM

These are both good, thanks so much. We have a routine, she just goes beserk in the mornings. She is happy, and not mean or grumpy, which I am grateful for, it's just hard that she thinks she's being funny and she's really not. And I can see where me not being in the middle of the routine isn't helping, so her routine has already been disrupted. I heard back from her teacher. She said she is going to have a talk with her about getting to school on time. She adores this teacher, so hopefully that will help. She's good with the rules at school, she knows she has to have her library book back on Tuesday, her communication book is due back on Monday, her homework is due completed on Friday. I just don't know why she thinks this is so funny in the mornings. Her teacher confirmed she's only been officially late with tardy slip twice so far, so she said if we can get a handle on things she'll still be okay. And she'll talk to DH at parent - teacher conference the first or second week of November since I don't seem to be able to get through to him.

Her biggest "reward" is the playtime with her friends before school. They open the gates at 0800, and the kids can play in the enclosed play area until 0810 if they get there early. She likes that, maybe if we focus on that since she doesnt' seem to make the connection between rewards or taking away privilges.

Quoting VeronicaTex:

Oooooooooooooooo, Mama!!!!

How well I know what this is:  My daughter with Down Syndrome still occasionally does the same thing.  She's so happy and high-spirited that we are going out somewhere especially when she knows we are going in the car.  And yes, if I don't plan well, I am still chasing her.

I learned things the hard way. 

The other ladies had great ideas that I just might be repeating.  Thank you in advance, ladies!!!

I have learned to start waaaaay ahead of time since I tend to run late myself. 

I anticipate that she might be running.

I make sure clothes are ready, or since she is older, and if I am not in a hurry, she may pick from drawers I have put pictures on, just what she needs.

The better organized I am with things I need in the bathroom and in her bedroom to get both of us ready, the better.  That includes, because of safety, certain items are not stored in the bathroom. (hair dryer)

The item that has helped me the most in getting her to stay put was to shut doors to where she might "escape to" . 

In your home set up is there a way that your daughter can be prevented to go say to the kitchen and livingroom and concentrate mainly on the bathroom and bedroom.?

I feel for you being expecting.  That is taxing on you.

What I see is needed is that a routine has been established, and that it needs to be changed for your success in getting to school.

This routine should include  an order that will be consistent and be something that your daughter can build on in the future.

In my concrete-sequential mind in my home that means I have everything ready before I am even ready to set foot in the bathroom to do what both of us need to do.  Once we are in there, the door gets latched so she cannot get out.  I have the towels already set out, the hair dryer in place.  We both use the restoom first and then the shower begins. 

Perhaps you could work up a picture sequence that your daughter can see that has your particular routine in order. Do the routine, over and over, anticipating that there might be a break made.  Are there any doors that you can shut so that she cannot go anywhere else?

I feel you are blessed to have such a happy daughter in the morning, first thing!!!  I would look at her playing as she wants to have time with you.  You can gently redirect her and in helping her get ready, she will get her time with you.

I capitilize on my daughter's enthusiasm by saying " Look at you.  Getting ready to go out!!!!   I am so proud of you!!!!" I keep talking to her, complimenting her for things she does correctly!!!!

You will be forming a new routine.

I will gently suggest no threats with pajamas.  It breaks the mood.  It will be defeating what you are trying to set up for her life and in fact in my eyes means humiliation.

Of all the ideas I read, this below is my favorite: 

Hugs to you Mama.   I will be thinking of you both.

Take care!!!

Veronica


Quoting aetrom:

We had so many issues. Here is what I did. 1) woke him up 20 minutes earlier. 2) set the out the door time 15 minutes earlier. I drove and that way I was doing the rush out the door and I would get in the car and realize we would make it on time. I still do this! So on late mornings we are still early. :) 3) I set an alarm which gave a 10 minute warning and then I also said "the car leaves at this time, miss it and find your own way to school". Calmly, and I leave for the car at the scheduled time (I did this for a week, now they know when I leave we leave). ;)



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