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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Frustrated with school (PIOG) ****UPDATED****

Posted by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 5:08 PM
  • 20 Replies

About to have WW3 with either Isaac's teacher or his aides! I'm beyond sick and tired of my son getting "marked" as "fair or "cans do better" in other classes, because they claim he is being stubborn! He is starting the Mainstreaming process this year. The mainstream teacher has told me herself he participates as much as he can, raises his hand, and tries really hard but may need his work modified". I've told them all that he says the work is tricky or that he doesn't understand it. And every day almost they write "he was stubborn today". Now I know my son CAN be stubborn, but there's a difference in being stubborn and not understanding the work. So today's reply to their daily "stubborn note" is as follows:
"Let's get this straight, stubborn by definition is being unreasonable, unyielding, and refusing to complete his work. Understanding by definition is the mental process of comprehension. I've repeatedly told y'all he has said numerous times he does not understand the work. There's a difference in being stubborn and not understanding. What methods are you and your staff using to help him better understand the work? If those methods aren't working, we need to try other methods!" 

I've already scheduled a conference with his new teacher that starts after Fall Break. On MONDAY we were informed his current teacher was not returning (going back to school for psychology I think), and I am going to nip this crap out NOW! 

He is already showing behavior and apprehension about a new teacher. This is a HUGE change and he needs transitional time to adjust to that news as well!



UPDATE:

THIS TEACHER IS MUCH BETTER, AND ON BOARD WITH EVERYTHING. SHE REMOVED THE AIDE WORKING WITH HIM IN MATH AND PUT ANOTHER AIDE HE IS MORE FAMILIAR WITH AND SURPRISE, ISSUES ARE GONE WITH THAT ISSUE AND SHE SAID SHE IS GIVING HIM PLENTY OF TIME TO ADJUST TO ALL THESE CHANGES

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 5:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
twokids0407
by Bronze Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 5:13 PM
Gl and hopefully this new teacher will work with you both.
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rose4607
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 5:57 PM
Maybe a tutor would help him better understand the material
sunflowers12
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 6:19 PM

well, there is a lot to be said about a teacher there for the right reasons and one for the wrong even good teachers will tell ya that.. not trying to be mean or unprofessional, but there really needs to be some type of personality test for ppl to become teachers because there far to many that shouldn't be there to me.. glad to hear your getting it taking care of i to have had nothing but problems with teachers but so far this year its been kinda quiet we will see how long that lasts..

Kris_PBG
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 6:20 PM
Why are his accommodations that he needs not outlined in his IEP? They should be and then everyone involved would know what he needs to succeed.
VeronicaTex
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 6:57 PM
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If he has been mainsteamed, he should have an IEP that tells exactly what the modifications should be.

Any teacher better know that she is liable for modifications , because if not, she will be in trouble with the law.

When you get a chance to talk to the teacher (calmly, hopefully) ask the teacher if she is starting with the approach "What do you understand about this, Isaac? " and go fom there.

I had kids like that over the years.  They were afraid of failing so they would start saying "I don't understand this" and shut down.  I was never one to give kids anything on a silver platter. I found out always that they knew something.

It is encouraging to me that your son "is particpating as much as he can, raises his hand and tries real hard."

I am wondering if the teachers are expecting him to be independent too soon.

Does he have homework?  If he does, ask him what he does understand and get him to talk.  Then go from there.  Don't give him any hints.  Keep asking him what he thinks should be done.  If he is getting off track guide him.

I will tell you this takes a great deal of time.  The aide, if this is in her job description, is to help out in academics and should be finding time to do this.

I would want a teacher, face to face to describe just what "stubborn" means to her.

I am hoping a new teacher will be very understanding and will give your son the time he needs.-His self-esteem, his belief in himself and his ability will be the key to having success.

((Hugs)) to both of you.

Take care.  I will be thinking of you.

Veronica-Mother of a child with Down Syndrome




URHonor
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:02 PM
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The beginning of that note sounds like you wrote it out of anger and frustration. I would revise it so you can be taken seriously. Fill it with facts not emotion. 

VeronicaTex
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:14 PM
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I very much agree with this.

Right now you are in attack mode.

Once again, I would get this anger out at home and do not put it in writing.  This may be kept on file.  Is that what you would want?

You can do this, Mama. 

Approach these people like a woman who has class and manners, and I will guarantee you will find answers.

Let them be teachers.  Put their feet to the fire.  Tell what you see from your son's description of what is going on and then let them tell their side. Ask them politely what are they doing to help him change that "fair" to at least "improving". 

Tell them you will talk to your son and do your part at home. 

Good luck,

Veronica

Quoting URHonor:

The beginning of that note sounds like you wrote it out of anger and frustration. I would revise it so you can be taken seriously. Fill it with facts not emotion. 


maxswolfsuit
by Max on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:52 PM

So you know your son can be stubborn but when the teacher says he is you assume it's because the work is too hard for him?

I don't thin you're giving your son enough credit. If the teachers think he can be doing maybe it's because he can. Teachers are trained in how to assess students. They might have information you're not aware of that leads them to believe he is more capable than his performance indicates. 

You need to take a deep breath and calm down. If his teachers didn't have his best interests at heart why would they call his stubborn? I'd greatly prefer for my child's teachers to think he's stubborn as opposed to incapable. They could just write him off, but they know he can do more than he is. It sounds like they see potential in him. 

As others have pointed out, his IEP should have exact modifications for his classwork. It's not a matter of "his work may need to be modified." Either it does it or it doesn't. His IEP should indicate which it is. 

cjsbmom
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:54 PM

That is what learning support is for. Does your child have an IEP? If so, ask to reopen it, and put in it that he is to receive learning support services. They can reinforce what he is learning in the classroom.

My son has high functioning autism, and for him, it's not that he doesn't understand or can't do the work, but that he's often not hearing them give the directions and needs to be prompted more than once. It's just part of the autism.

cjsbmom
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:57 PM
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Quoting VeronicaTex:

If he has been mainsteamed, he should have an IEP that tells exactly what the modifications should be.

Any teacher better know that she is liable for modifications , because if not, she will be in trouble with the law.

When you get a chance to talk to the teacher (calmly, hopefully) ask the teacher if she is starting with the approach "What do you understand about this, Isaac? " and go fom there.

I had kids like that over the years.  They were afraid of failing so they would start saying "I don't understand this" and shut down.  I was never one to give kids anything on a silver platter. I found out always that they knew something.

It is encouraging to me that your son "is particpating as much as he can, raises his hand and tries real hard."

I am wondering if the teachers are expecting him to be independent too soon.

I agree with the part in red and was wondering the same thing. He is being mainstreamed, and he has a disability. Sometimes teachers fail to realize that means a longer adjustment period, especially if the child's disability isn't an obvious physical one.


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