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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Edit***I think it's inappropriate for the school piog

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I posted this in another group a few days ago but I wanted to post it here as well and get your take.

My son wa sent home Friday with a letter stating that the school will be having an assembly that will be talking about good and bad touches and relationships between adults and children. My ds is in k and I think it's hugely inappropriate for the school to be having an assembly like this. It's crossing the line.
It's for the parents to do and we do talk to ds about it. Well ds is 5 an likes to make up stories. After having a talk with ds about no one touching his privates and ect the next morning he told me that grandma, grandpa, daddy, and he just went down a list if family members, were in his room punching him. This was impossible because our closest family is 750 miles away. But just an example that ds likes to make up stories. I've also talked to him about not making up stories as they can have serious consequences. But he's 5 and he also has ADHD and dosent fully grasp it. So ds will not being going to the assembly because my luck is hell make up a story at school and we will be investigated. Plus again I think it's very inappropriate for the school in the first place to be talking to the kids about it. Even if is ds didn't make up stories he would not be going.
Now I understand that some parents may not teach their kids about these things. And I think they have that right. It's not the schools place.

Does your kindergardeners ( or up) have assemblies like this. Do you allow them to go or would you allow them to go.

Edit- apparently it's a very normal thing is some places. Not where I live. I never had these kind if talks in school growing up. I also emailed a few friends for dont live in my area ad a few cousins. All but one got back to me and said their kids don't have talks about this in their schools either. My one cousin is a teacher and he said they don't talk about it at his school either. I also taught preschool for 5 years at two different schools in two different states. Both very good preschools. We never had these talks with our kids either. In fact at my last preschool it was on the list of things we were not to talk to about with kids even if they brought it up. And this was a top rated school. One of the best in the state. So it's not done everywhere.
I also gave the paper here of what will be talked out with the children.
Good touches and bad touches, molestation, and rape is also mentioned. I pray to go they will not be talking about rape and even molestation with 5 years olds. I hope it's for the higher grades.
Im going I email the teacher and ask for more info. I'm thinking about going with ds to this assembly this way I can see what is being talked about and also so if I don't like what being talked about I can grab him and leave.
This letter was a huge shock to me. It's not something we had in school growing up or that my friends kids have had either. So this letter was a huge shock.
Thanks for all your feedback. Although the few rude comments I got were very uncalled for.
I was also shocked that only 1 mom agreed with me that its to takes about at home not school.

And again ill say how ds knows what a good touch and bad is. He learns it at home. So it's not like he doesn't have the info.
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by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 6:40 PM
Replies (31-40):
maxswolfsuit
by Max on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:31 PM

I have no idea what FWIW means. 

But I was in elementary school in the early 80s and we had assemblies every year about it. 

Waiting until fourth grade is pointless. Kids need to know about what's appropriate for people to do to them and with them as soon as they can understand it. If parents are already covering it at home why care that the school is repeating it? If they're not, the kids aren't safe. 

Quoting banana-bear:

FWIW, I have never heard of such a thing. The earliest we had anything of this nature was in 4th grade (human growth and development). I was in elementary school from like 1991-1996 in FL - not sure if that has anything to do with it.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:


Quoting ashleyrenee24:

I remember being taught good touch and bad touch in elementary school. I don't see the problem.

I am wondering why the OP is surprised by this. I got the talk in the seventies. I clearly remember the lady who came and talked to us actually. 


confused0701
by Bronze Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:31 PM

Huh they did this at our school but as one of their counseling things!  Each class goes as a whole to the counselors office once every 2 weeks.  And needless to say I was one pissed mom because my daughter has major rash issues in those areas so yes mommy has to touch and look and so do drs and nana's and it caused one hell of an issue she refused to tell anyone about rashes or let anyone look.  We had no clue they were doing it until after the fact!

mjande4
by Platinum Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:35 PM
2 moms liked this
I remember these presentations in elementary too and that was a LONG time ago. No big deal and frankly I sometimes wonder if those against it have something to hide. I'm not saying all/any do, but it's always left me wondering and not just on this topic.
Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:41 PM
1 mom liked this

*rolls eyes* that's not confusing... that's flat out being pissed at you because you said she couldn't have anymore candy and wanted to get you into trouble. Anyways.

My kids know the difference. If you don't enforce the difference between truth and a lie into your kids from a very young age and the importance of this types of subjects the schools wouldn't need to have assemblies. OP is being ridiculous and I honestly think there is an underlying reason why she doesn't want him there... and it's not because of the "stories". Parents knew before we would have our talks in school.... every year we knew which kids would be taken out, we made a list of suspected children that were being abused.... CPS would make visits to those homes.... there are reasons parents keep certain kids home during assemblies!

Quoting banana-bear:

Kids most certainly can make up crazy stories with zero truth to them. Around last Halloween on the drive to school, I told my oldest she was cut off from candy. When the para opened the door, my daughter proceeded to tell her that I said I was going to cut off her head. Kids can get things confused all the time, especially those with delays and disorders. It's important to take what they say with a grain of salt and dig deeper for more details. Then later on, recall the event in question and see if the story sticks.
Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

You said that you talked to ds about it.... if you did... he wouldn't be making up these stories. My oldest is ADHD with anxiety and my youngest LOVES to make up the most obnoxious stories ever. NEVER have they EVER once made up a story like that. You are doing a disservice to your son. I stand by my original comment. And as a previous pre-school teacher. We had someone who used to come into all of the classrooms every year and talk to the kids about good and bad touches... you said your school didn't.... what a crappy school.

Quoting brittani:

Ds knows the difference. I don't thinks its a disservice. Hell still be goin to school that day he just won't be goin to the assembly. I think it's my place and my job not the schools.

I'm thinking about going with ds and then if I don't like the assembly I can take ds and leave
Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

I don't think it's inappropriate at all. I think it's extremely important for every child to know what an appropriate touch is. I thing you're doing your son a diservice by not sending him to school. You could always talk to the school and the teacher, explain how your son is and they can always follow up with him and have a counselor at the school explain it in a way he will be able to grasp it.

Follow my weight loss Journey.... I have 120lbs to lose in 14 months....Can I do it by changing my diet and exercising more? We shall see!!!! http://www.myfitnesspal.com/luvmykidz04


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banana-bear
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:42 PM
For what it's worth.....FWIW.

I didn't say such a talk took place in 4th grade for me, or that it should. I said anything of this nature (sex, human body, etc.) was not discussed until then, for me.....not saying I think that it is or is not an appropriate age....just stating when it happened for me.

And you're right, kids need to know this early on. My girls were told in terms *I knew* they would understand starting around age 2....and it is an ongoing discussion with the terms changing as they get older. I don't think it is inappropriate for schools to have these assemblies, I just know that for *my* school-aged child, it would do more harm than good. Which is why I said I would opt out IF I didn't homeschool.


Quoting maxswolfsuit:

I have no idea what FWIW means. 

But I was in elementary school in the early 80s and we had assemblies every year about it. 

Waiting until fourth grade is pointless. Kids need to know about what's appropriate for people to do to them and with them as soon as they can understand it. If parents are already covering it at home why care that the school is repeating it? If they're not, the kids aren't safe. 

Quoting banana-bear:

FWIW, I have never heard of such a thing. The earliest we had anything of this nature was in 4th grade (human growth and development). I was in elementary school from like 1991-1996 in FL - not sure if that has anything to do with it.



Quoting maxswolfsuit:


Quoting ashleyrenee24:

I remember being taught good touch and bad touch in elementary school. I don't see the problem.

I am wondering why the OP is surprised by this. I got the talk in the seventies. I clearly remember the lady who came and talked to us actually. 


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maxswolfsuit
by Max on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:44 PM

You learn something every day. Now I know what FWIW means. LOL

I see your point. Obviously the school is informing parents because they know some might want to opt out. I can see that. 

But saying it's inappropriate in general is a little baffling to me. 

Quoting :


Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:46 PM

Most of the time, they do. I just commented on that! I was a preschool teacher and we had to compile a list of suspected abused children right before our yearly talks to the children.... The parents were notified, if the kids missed school CPS was notified. Even if we've already called CPS and have a case open on them. It just furthered the investigation.

Quoting mjande4:

I remember these presentations in elementary too and that was a LONG time ago. No big deal and frankly I sometimes wonder if those against it have something to hide. I'm not saying all/any do, but it's always left me wondering and not just on this topic.


Follow my weight loss Journey.... I have 120lbs to lose in 14 months....Can I do it by changing my diet and exercising more? We shall see!!!! http://www.myfitnesspal.com/luvmykidz04


Wedding Countdown Ticker


banana-bear
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:49 PM
How awesome for you that you presume to know what my daughter was thinking. No, in fact, she was terrified and thought I was going to "cut off" her head because I said she was "cut off" from candy. She was not mad at me nor was she trying to lie maliciously. She is often confused by language and cannot comprehend questions like a typical child her age can. She didn't even know how to lie until recently and she's 6....and that is considering that her (typical) younger sister taught her to do so.

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

*rolls eyes* that's not confusing... that's flat out being pissed at you because you said she couldn't have anymore candy and wanted to get you into trouble. Anyways.

My kids know the difference. If you don't enforce the difference between truth and a lie into your kids from a very young age and the importance of this types of subjects the schools wouldn't need to have assemblies. OP is being ridiculous and I honestly think there is an underlying reason why she doesn't want him there... and it's not because of the "stories". Parents knew before we would have our talks in school.... every year we knew which kids would be taken out, we made a list of suspected children that were being abused.... CPS would make visits to those homes.... there are reasons parents keep certain kids home during assemblies!

Quoting banana-bear:

Kids most certainly can make up crazy stories with zero truth to them. Around last Halloween on the drive to school, I told my oldest she was cut off from candy. When the para opened the door, my daughter proceeded to tell her that I said I was going to cut off her head. Kids can get things confused all the time, especially those with delays and disorders. It's important to take what they say with a grain of salt and dig deeper for more details. Then later on, recall the event in question and see if the story sticks.

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

You said that you talked to ds about it.... if you did... he wouldn't be making up these stories. My oldest is ADHD with anxiety and my youngest LOVES to make up the most obnoxious stories ever. NEVER have they EVER once made up a story like that. You are doing a disservice to your son. I stand by my original comment. And as a previous pre-school teacher. We had someone who used to come into all of the classrooms every year and talk to the kids about good and bad touches... you said your school didn't.... what a crappy school.

Quoting brittani:

Ds knows the difference. I don't thinks its a disservice. Hell still be goin to school that day he just won't be goin to the assembly. I think it's my place and my job not the schools.


I'm thinking about going with ds and then if I don't like the assembly I can take ds and leave

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

I don't think it's inappropriate at all. I think it's extremely important for every child to know what an appropriate touch is. I thing you're doing your son a diservice by not sending him to school. You could always talk to the school and the teacher, explain how your son is and they can always follow up with him and have a counselor at the school explain it in a way he will be able to grasp it.


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mjande4
by Platinum Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:49 PM
Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:



That's interesting. I've always kind of felt that those you protest vehemently against something being taught/shown to their kids really are raising red flags on themselves.
cjsbmom
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:50 PM

I think I would want to know how the information is being presented. Obviously, it should be presented according to age, so hopefully the school isn't having the same presentation for the K students that it would be having for, say, the 4th or 5th graders.

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