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Updated in Reply: So mad! My child went missing AGAIN yesterday! (Long rant)

Posted by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 10:12 AM
  • 38 Replies
My daughter attends a private school (prek3-8th grade) that offers an Extended Day program for an additional fee and runs from the time school is dismissed at 2:55 until 6:00pm. Because I work from home, however, I rarely have to use the ED program and can pick her up at dismissal.

Anyway, this year the school offered for the first time a "Mind Lab" after school program offered by a 3rd party ( The cost is $150 for 12 weekly sessions which were supposed to be Wednesdays from 3:30-4:30pm. My 6-year-old really wanted to do this program (her BFF was enrolled), so I agreed to enroll her in Sept.

I should have know from the first session that this program was no good! I was planning to pick my daughter up at 4:30, but got a text from one of the other student's moms (she showed up at 4:00 to check out the instructor and program) at 4:05 telling me that the session had been changed to run from 3:15-4:15! Ack! I raced to the school, and thanked the mom for watching my daughter after the instructor left.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, Oct. 10. I showed up to the school at 4:05, walked into the classroom where Mind Lab was supposed to be held, and it was completely empty! I HAD NO IDEA WHERE MY DAUGHTER WAS! I caught one of the school's Extended Day employees, and she said, "Oh. Alyssa is out there (soccer field) playing with the other kids. The instuctor for Mind Lab ended the session early and sent all the kids into Extended Day." WHAT?!?

I found my daughter and asked her what happened. She told me that it was the Mind Lab instructor's birthday and that she had an appointment, so she let everyone go early. Now I should mention that the other kids in the program are enrolled in Extended Day on a monthly basis, so they are signed in on the ED list and a parent has to sign them out. MY daughter is NOT enrolled in ED, so when she's sent off to "play" with the other kids, there is no record of her whereabouts. I don't have to sign her out (since she was never signed in) and neither does anyone else!

The next week, I showed up to Mind Lab even earlier so that I could catch the elusive instructor. I gave her my business card with every contact number and email address I had. I even wrote "Alyssa's mom" and the school's name on the card so that there was no doubt whatsoever who to contact or how to contact me if she decided to skip out early again. I politely explained to the instructor that I expect her to contact me, because my Alyssa is not an ED kid, and so no one was accountable for her last week. Problem solved, right? WRONG!

Yesterday, to my horror, I showed up to the Mind Lab classroom to pick up my daughter and AGAIN the room was empty! This time, one of the ED teachers saw me and brought Alyssa to me. She told me that the Mind Lab instructor had just NOT SHOWN UP that day, and that Alyssa had been "playing with us outside." I was horrified! I thanked the teacher for looking after my daughter even though she wasn't technically obligated to, and took Alyssa home so that I could have a little phone "chat" with the Mind Lab director.

The director was CLUELESS! When I told him the instructor didn't show up, all he said was "that's weird," and then tried to end the call. I told him this was not the first time that I couldn't find my daughter because of this woman sending her off to a program she wasn't enrolled in. I told him that she should have notified me; I had just given her all my contact information at the end of the LAST session because she had ended the class at least 15 minutes early the week prior. He said, "Okay, I will call the instructor and find out what happened and then call you back." Surprise, surprise! I STILL haven't received his call!

So last night, I emailed the school principal and told her in detail what was going on. I said that I was not mad at the school, and in fact was grateful that the extended day staff took it upon themselves to watch over my daughter. However, I thought the principal needed to be aware of the program's negligence and should reconsider any thoughts of inviting the program to return to the school.

My next step is to call the director back this afternoon and inform him that I am withdrawing my child from the program and expect a refund.

Anything else I should be doing? I am still so angry, I'm afraid I might be missing something.
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by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 10:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 10:35 AM

Wow, I think you are doing all the right things- I would be angry too! If you hadn't already talked to the principal, I'd write a letter to him thanking them for taking such good care of your daughter. In fact, I might anyway- it can be part of their personnel file.

What are the other moms doing? I guess you might want to contact them about what is going on. If their kids are in this program AND the ED program, they might not know what a mess it is....

by Ruby Member on Oct. 25, 2012 at 10:36 AM

Sounds to me like you are handling it well. Sorry this has been happening.






by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 10:40 AM
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Former teacher here:  

All of what you said and have done looks very sound to me.  You carried yourself very well!!!!

I would ask for a refund and if there is someone higher to go to, by all means do it.

There must be accountability on every one's part where a child is concerned.

Good luck to you, and ((Hugs)),


by Member on Oct. 25, 2012 at 10:58 AM

Quoting wakymom:

Sounds to me like you are handling it well. Sorry this has been happening.






by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 11:05 AM

Your child's safety far outweighs anyone's elses job or priorities. My son attends daycare and when things are amiss, I dont keep quiet. You are doing the right thing to keep your daughter safe.  Who cares who gets upset?

by Bronze Member on Oct. 25, 2012 at 2:55 PM
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Thanks, Ladies!

The instructor called me and apologized profusely. She said it was a "scheduling issue" and she thought there was no class yesterday. (?!?) Still, I accepted her apology, and she went on and on about how wonderful and sweet Alyssa is and how she's going to give her TWO pieces of candy at the next session to make it up to her. Then she emailed all 4 of us parents with a "sorry for the mix-up" and an introduction about herself and the Mind Lab program.

Even though I accepted her apology, this still didn't settle right with me, so after discussing with my hubby, I decided to pull Alyssa from the program anyway. I spoke to the director who said he didn't understand my decision, because after all, the instructor DID take the time to call me on my cell and take full responsibility. And she said I accepted her apology, so what's the big deal?

I told him that even though I accepted her apology, I still could not trust my child with someone who let her essentially go "missing" twice now. I said that if this was the first instance, I might be able to overlook it and trust that it won't happen again, but because this happened twice now in a 3 week timeframe, I can't, as a parent, allow my child to continue.

The director said that he understood THIS occurrence, but that the instructor told him the first time she had ended the class ONLY 3 MINUTES EARLY at 4:12! I interrupted him and told him that was not true, because I was there at 4:05-4:07 and the classroom was already EMPTY! I explained that since I pick Alyssa up and she is not in ED, I am ALWAYS waiting outside before the class is over!

Anyway, after some discussion and a bit of an argument, the director told me he would mail me a check, even though they have a "no refund" policy. We'll see if I ever actually DO see that money again. :-P
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by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 3:09 PM

I would have been livid and would have pulled her from the program and expected a refund for sure. I think you are definitely doing everything right. And your point is extremely valid!

by Platinum Member on Oct. 25, 2012 at 3:11 PM
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I'm thinking you made a much bigger stink of this than it was worth. Your DD was NOT missing. She may not have been "signed in" to the ED program but they knew right where she was.

If you aren't happy with hte way it's run, then you have the right to pull your child, but I do't see the big OMG SHES MISSING! If she were on campus on the playground with all the other kids.

ETA: Maybe I don't see it as such a big deal since I've actually had a missing child where we have had the Sheriff's department out on a TWO HOUR search to find him.

Jinx - Homeschooling, Scouting & Karate butt-kicking  Mom to Star Scout Ian 1/98, Scout Sean 9/00, Junior GS Heidi 4/03. Wife to Joe & Alpha to German Shepherd Spazz.

by Barbara on Oct. 25, 2012 at 3:15 PM
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It sounds like you handled it really well. I can understand why you still asked for a refund. The instructor seems unreliable.

by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 3:20 PM

You should ask for a full refund, not for the money but on principal. Totally unacceptable. 

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