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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

What should the repercussion be when parents...

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don't support their child's education?

If a parent won't contact the school, attend conferences, monitor homework, get their child to school regularly, or return phone calls should there be a consequence for that?

Is this something CPS should get involved in or maybe the court system. Should involvement in education be tied to PA benefits? Or is it a parent's right to neglect their child's education?

Debate...

by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:15 PM
Replies (101-110):
Lorena
by Bronze Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 10:46 AM
On the lice note. But a little tea tree oil in your shampoo. We do that and haven't had lice since my oldest first started school.

Quoting mhaney03:

Wow that's a lot of days!  I kept my daughter out of school last year for 3 days because she had REALLY long hair and came home the 2nd day of school with lice.  It took forever to get that cleared out and I got threatened with jail time.  I had the doctor's note but I was just going to send her with it when I sent her back to school.


Now I do just the opposite.  I bring the note right after I get it (I don't even go home, leave the doc and go straight to the school) and then I call every day to give the secretary an update and I also pick up any missed worksheets.  Now they think I'm annoying :)


 


side note:  since the lice thing, I spray their hair every morning with a spray-in conditioner or detangler (whatever is on sale) and we haven't had lice since.


Quoting maxswolfsuit:




Quoting mhaney03:


Where would you draw the line? I'm supposed to initial by the date every day in their agendas and most of the time, I forget to.  But they do all their homework and I attend every open house and have requested meetings with teachers.  but can I get in trouble for not initialing their agendas?  Sounds like a slippery slope here.  I like the rules the way they are.  If  a a child reports abuse to school, they have to investige.  If a child reaches so many missed days, they have to investigate.


I see what you're saying and I agree that is a slippery slope. 


Sadly, investigating after missing so many days is consistent everywhere. My district has an obscene attendance policy. A child has to miss 20 days each semester before anything is done. And then it's just a letter. Another 10 days before they get sent to court. Even then, the judge just scolds them. So kids can miss 50+ days a year with no consequence. 


I have a student right now that I am trying to get an IEP for. But I need a documented parent conference for the RTI process to progress. I've called over and over, sent notes with the child, mailed notes, and sent the social worker. Mom answered the phone one time and scheduled a conference but didn't show up for it. 


She's been in school for 7 years and none of teachers have ever met her parents or spoken to them on the phone. I've never gotten more than a signature from her as far as communication. I know she's literate because I taught her other child years ago and she was involved then. 



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Idntreallycare
by Bronze Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 10:52 AM
I don't care how much you work, you have 5 minutes somewhere in your day to return a phone call or email to the school.
If a parent cares so little about their child's education, why should the child put forth effort? Why should a teacher invest time and effort into a child who's parents don't care?

I couldn't imagine not taking an interest in my sons education. You can tell, especially with young kids, if they have parents watching or helping with homework.
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iluvmymomasboys
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 11:11 AM

I am a single mom. I do not have a vehicle but me and their teachers text, call, write letters, email ect when we can. But even then my son is in 1st grade and isn't even beggining to read at school. Instead they give them tons of sight words to learn. Instead of teaching him to read they expect him to learn all of these words by sight when simply teaching him to read would help him with his sight words. So he goes to school for 8 plus hours a day and I have to reteach him. I sometimes don't even want to talk to the teachers, because I am fustrated. I know that won't help anything so I keep communication open. But its hard. I really do wish I could just pull them out. All the school is doing is babysitting him. I can do that. Just one aspect to look at why a parent isn't involved. I know they should be involved anyways just like I do but its one way to look at it. 

soymujer
by Mikki on Nov. 24, 2012 at 10:28 PM

I have quite a few students that the parents don't show up for open house or parent teacher conferences and when I call/email them no response.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:

I did say earlier CPS isn't set up to work on this. 

But there are lots of ways to harm a child other than physical. I've never seen a student grow up in a situation where the parents had nothing to do with school end up finishing school. Maybe it's because you teach a high school elective course that students living in this situation might not be the ones you end up working with. Kids in this situation drop out before high school. Or if they attend high school at all they are mainly in remedial classes. 

Quoting soymujer:

Not physically and  CPS is busy with caseloads of physical abuse.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:


Quoting soymujer:

You can't force a parent to be involved in their child's education.  Besides, maybe there's circumstances that you don't know about that they can't be.  I think it would be crazy to call CPS for something like that.  I mean, it's not like they are harming the child.

You don't think sitting back and doing nothing while a child is failing harms them?

 



family in the van   Mom of four


AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 10:32 PM

Unfortunately, I feel that it is indeed every parent's right to raise their child however they choose - even if that means neglecting their education. I think that the importance of education is, like every other parenting decision, going to vary depending on the parent and their own upbringing. I'm not sure that I would consider it punishable (but certainly depressing). Legally speaking.

Now, one of the private schools at my dd's school offered incentives and fines if we weren't active in the school. For example, if you didn't volunteer the mandatory 20 hours, you paid a $200 fine. Could that be applied somehow to public schools?

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosey, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child. I believe that my "place" is in the home caring for my husband and children. My husband is head of our home and I *love* my life! (just getting the controversial stuff out of the way!)             Aimee












Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 10:39 PM
1 mom liked this
how . many of you have children who attend a school.with a written compact (between the staff, patents, and students)?
maxswolfsuit
by Max on Nov. 25, 2012 at 8:47 AM


Quoting Roo1234:

how . many of you have children who attend a school.with a written compact (between the staff, patents, and students)?

Our school does have a compact. But it's often ignored. 

Hottubgodess
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 11:40 AM

 If all of the things you stated happen, then yes, CPS should be involved - it is considered neglect.  But, if a parent doesnt show to PTC, or a child is late 1 x a week, then no, CPS should not be involved.  If a child is struggling, and the parents dont work with the school as a team, and are neglecting their child's education, then CPS should be called in.  But it has to be a whole picture issue, not a "principal or teacher doesnt like this parent" issue.  Maybe voted on by a committee.....so politics doesnt play into it.

ETA - we have a local district that is in trouble, asking for funds from the state, low test scores, etc.  I know parents dont help in many of those cases.  And so they want more money thrown at the school to "fix" a problem that is the parents.  I know I am generalizing, but this isnt a new problem.  The parents who do care are participating in school of choice, to leave the district.  The teachers are dedicated, and try hard. 

I'm not crazy....I have two boys.....roflmbo....


I love my Sensational DS1 and my Boysterous DS2...both born preemie, full term breastfed, until they self weaned.  I am a Lactivist, a CubScout Den Leader, Self employed, and still take the time to be my Children's Attachment Parenting Mom and my DH's Girlfriend.  My DH is my best friend. :)


Medications and Mother's Milk Group - Group Owner

Hottubgodess
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 11:55 AM
1 mom liked this

 Maxwolfsuit - Our district is known to not assign an AI (Autistic Impaired) label to higher functioning kids.  You have to be hitting your head on the wall, flapping and speech delay to get AI.  Otherwise, you re EI (Emotional Impaired = Naughty Child).  Kids with reading issues are left to the wayside - not enough funds, so you may not qualify - according to the district 'experts'.  Our district disregarded two reports from independent experts that my son has HFA/Aspergers - they can.  That is their choice, sadly.  Give the least amount of assistance required to shut up a parent or by law.  :(

MsLogansMommy - If you suspect a processing delay (my DS1 has one, on top of Sensory Defensive Issues (SPD)), take your child to a pediatric neurologist.  They will run a full eval on the processing.  We had no idea that Mike had a processing delay - it explained alot.  That on top of Sequential Processing and Sensory Defensiveness explains his overload the district REFUSED to see. 

You can request an IEE (Independent Evaluation) that the school has to pay for.  Find an advocate, and they will take you thru the steps to file and IEE, select an INDEPENDENT evaluator (you dont have to use one from the list they provide) and get the ball rolling.  Good luck. 

Quoting maxswolfsuit:


Quoting MsLogansMommy:

I have a question and this may be a little off topic but it does tie into the statement about teachers being held solely responsible by evaluations on their students progress. I am a parent who is involved, I always answer the phone, return calls, respond to notes, and attend all meetings, unless I have child care issues. My dd struggles at school and last year she was denied an IEP. What happens when a parent reaches out for help for their child and the school offers none? I am in the process of contacting sylvan for additional help but they are very expensive and I dont know if it is in my budget so where do I turn for additional assistance for my child? btw I sit with her every night and help her with home work I suspect she may have a learning disability and I am in the process of requesting evaluation from this school since we are at a diff school this year

What do you mean your child was denied an IEP?

IEPs aren't just assigned to students. Students qualify for one after extensive testing or tracking. Normally it takes around a year to do this thoroughly, effectively and accurately. In order for an IEP to really benefit the child there must be data to indicate why the child is struggling and what type of instruction would be best for her. Giving students extra help isn't going to be very beneficial if it's the wrong kind of help.

What makes you suspect a processing disorder? What kinds of grades does your child earn? How far behind do you think she is? What evaluation has the school done? What does the new school say about your concerns?

Also keep in mind that just because a student doesn't have an IEP that doesn't mean they aren't getting help. In most places a child who is being evaluated in put in a program called Response to Intervention (RTI). During the RTI process the student is getting one on one help daily or several times a week on the skills they need the most help in. Kids can get lots of extra help without any kind of label. 

Also, I would never use a big tutoring company like Sylvan. They charge outrageous fees but pay tutors very little. Teachers can make much more tutoring on their own. All the Sylvan tutors I know are either teachers who can't get jobs or people with no teaching certification. I know two people in two different states who were told by Sylvan to lie if anyone asked about their certification because they had none. 

Check Craig's List, call the local library or ask at the school if there any teachers who will tutor. You may even be able to find an education student. It will be less that Sylvan and you'll get instruction for your child. Not a canned program with progress monitoring that is intentionally designed to make it look like the kids are making more progress than they are. 


 

I'm not crazy....I have two boys.....roflmbo....


I love my Sensational DS1 and my Boysterous DS2...both born preemie, full term breastfed, until they self weaned.  I am a Lactivist, a CubScout Den Leader, Self employed, and still take the time to be my Children's Attachment Parenting Mom and my DH's Girlfriend.  My DH is my best friend. :)


Medications and Mother's Milk Group - Group Owner

mommybug77
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 5:29 PM
I was just involved in this with a council meeting last week. Cps here will not get involved in educational neglect.
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