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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

What should the repercussion be when parents...

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don't support their child's education?

If a parent won't contact the school, attend conferences, monitor homework, get their child to school regularly, or return phone calls should there be a consequence for that?

Is this something CPS should get involved in or maybe the court system. Should involvement in education be tied to PA benefits? Or is it a parent's right to neglect their child's education?

Debate...

by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:15 PM
Replies (51-60):
CrazedMomof2
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 10:27 AM
I'm not fully present at school for/with my children. I passed on a conference for Elise this year. I haven't been to her classroom either. I am however on her at home and have communications with her teacher via email. She has straight As for this first trimester.

Ethan, kinda the same. I was going to go in a field trip with them this month but I had to go to a funeral instead. I communicate via email and have not been in his class yet either. His conference is after thanksgiving.

So yes I care. Yes I am involved. I may not look very involved but their school works would say differently. I try not to hover as I feel they need to be responsible for their school work but if notice any problems we address them and work to fix them.

I think there is a point someone needs to be involved of the parents don't care. Missing a conference is not a big deal but if they don't communicate with the school at all? That is a problem. No idea who should get involved though.....
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maxswolfsuit
by Max on Nov. 18, 2012 at 10:28 AM


Quoting CrazedMomof2:

I'm not fully present at school for/with my children. I passed on a conference for Elise this year. I haven't been to her classroom either. I am however on her at home and have communications with her teacher via email. She has straight As for this first trimester.

Ethan, kinda the same. I was going to go in a field trip with them this month but I had to go to a funeral instead. I communicate via email and have not been in his class yet either. His conference is after thanksgiving.

So yes I care. Yes I am involved. I may not look very involved but their school works would say differently. I try not to hover as I feel they need to be responsible for their school work but if notice any problems we address them and work to fix them.

I think there is a point someone needs to be involved of the parents don't care. Missing a conference is not a big deal but if they don't communicate with the school at all? That is a problem. No idea who should get involved though.....

That's the issue. It really isn't anyone's job.

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Nov. 18, 2012 at 10:34 AM

Also, if a strong students parents never got in touch with me I guess I wouldn't be too concerned. 

But I can't say I've ever had that happen. The parents I can't get in touch with always have students with serious struggles. Strong, and even average, students' parents sometimes can't make it to school. But they usually call or write back when I contact them. 

So if a straight A student's mom had to skip a conference it wouldn't bother me at all. But when a D/F student's parents won't call or write me back it's a huge issue. 

Quoting CrazedMomof2:

I'm not fully present at school for/with my children. I passed on a conference for Elise this year. I haven't been to her classroom either. I am however on her at home and have communications with her teacher via email. She has straight As for this first trimester.

Ethan, kinda the same. I was going to go in a field trip with them this month but I had to go to a funeral instead. I communicate via email and have not been in his class yet either. His conference is after thanksgiving.

So yes I care. Yes I am involved. I may not look very involved but their school works would say differently. I try not to hover as I feel they need to be responsible for their school work but if notice any problems we address them and work to fix them.

I think there is a point someone needs to be involved of the parents don't care. Missing a conference is not a big deal but if they don't communicate with the school at all? That is a problem. No idea who should get involved though.....


ProudMommy51006
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:09 AM
I don't understand how some say it isn't a priority, like it's just a fact and no big deal. That is sad, not just because it is hindering the child's education and life, career wise.... But their self esteem, their self worth. If they have no one that cares about them, their emotional state is hindered as well. I just don't get it.

My mom wasn't involved, but growing up I didn't realize it. I was fulfilled in other aspects of my life and school was very easy for me. The only way I know she wasn't involved is she sees how involved I am with my dd and tell me she wasn't involved (never checked my backpack or grades or never went to my school).... But she did go to my conferences. So, I felt like she was involved, as a kid. If I were a kid that struggled in school, I don't know how I would have turned out.

I hope this response makes sense, my brain is still waking up.
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maxswolfsuit
by Max on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:12 AM


Quoting ProudMommy51006:

I don't understand how some say it isn't a priority, like it's just a fact and no big deal. That is sad, not just because it is hindering the child's education and life, career wise.... But their self esteem, their self worth. If they have no one that cares about them, their emotional state is hindered as well. I just don't get it.

My mom wasn't involved, but growing up I didn't realize it. I was fulfilled in other aspects of my life and school was very easy for me. The only way I know she wasn't involved is she sees how involved I am with my dd and tell me she wasn't involved (never checked my backpack or grades or never went to my school).... But she did go to my conferences. So, I felt like she was involved, as a kid. If I were a kid that struggled in school, I don't know how I would have turned out.

I hope this response makes sense, my brain is still waking up.

It totally makes sense. And you make an excellent point about the emotional impact. 

I also wouldn't say your mom wasn't involved. If you were a OED student she might have known she didn't have to check your folder or backpack. She could be monitoring in other ways. 

bleumonster
by Gold Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:15 AM
Here you can go to jail and pay a fine if your child misses too much school without a drs note. CPS will get involved if it happens again. I have a friend with a mentally disabled child who functions on a 2-3 year old level. He was born wit birth defects and gets sick easily. She can't always afford to take him to the doctor when he is sick if its just a runny nose but the school will send him home with a runny nose because he can't wipe it himself. She got a summons to court because of it. She finally got the Dr to give her a letter saying he could stay home without going to the pediatrician for certain conditions. It's not like he actually learns anything at school anyway.
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ProudMommy51006
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:17 AM
Yes, I think it's her looking back and feeling like she should have been more involved and wishing she would have been. She drank too much during elementary school years.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:


Quoting ProudMommy51006:

I don't understand how some say it isn't a priority, like it's just a fact and no big deal. That is sad, not just because it is hindering the child's education and life, career wise.... But their self esteem, their self worth. If they have no one that cares about them, their emotional state is hindered as well. I just don't get it.



My mom wasn't involved, but growing up I didn't realize it. I was fulfilled in other aspects of my life and school was very easy for me. The only way I know she wasn't involved is she sees how involved I am with my dd and tell me she wasn't involved (never checked my backpack or grades or never went to my school).... But she did go to my conferences. So, I felt like she was involved, as a kid. If I were a kid that struggled in school, I don't know how I would have turned out.



I hope this response makes sense, my brain is still waking up.

It totally makes sense. And you make an excellent point about the emotional impact. 

I also wouldn't say your mom wasn't involved. If you were a OED student she might have known she didn't have to check your folder or backpack. She could be monitoring in other ways. 

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melissam78
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:35 AM
IMO there's no excuse for having no involvement in your child's education.theres phones,emails and you can always send a note/letter via mail or slip it in your child's back pack for the teacher/school.
as far as disciplinary action for non involvement,children missing school etc,if attempts have been made w/no results to consult w/the parents then get a social worker involved,not nessisarily cps,just someone who can advocate for the student/school & parents.a child's education is too important to just ignore
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iansusie
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:44 AM
1 mom liked this

If you can't make the conference because of the time or date, ask for a different time and day when you will be available. I am sure no one works from the time school begins to the time they are out without a 5-10 min break they can use to call the teacher. You can always go to the public library and use the computer to write an email. Many are open on Saturdays and Sundays. Everyone can write a note, if you are iliterate, then ask a friend, a neighbor, co worker to write your note and read it to you. There is NO reason to be completely uninvolved in your child's education. I don't think the OP is talking about a child who excels despite the involvement of their parents. Most of the times, the uninvolved parents have the children that are struggling. Not always the POOR parents but unfortunately, most of the times it is the ones living in poverty. AND yes, it is everyone's problem because these children will more than likely never be self reliable, get out of poverty and increase delinquency. Can anyone make a parent care? Not really and even if they did communicate with the school doesn't mean a thing will change. 

uoting dcdmattison03:


 I think CPS is a little extreme, they have more pressing issues to deal with like abused children. However parents do need to take some sort of responsibility but to what extent. Like my sons' school doesn't let you know exactly what time your parent conference is until the Friday before. THat doesn't work for me all the time if I can't get somebody to switch my shift at work. This time it worked out because I am on maternity leave. Phone calls- if the parent works the same time school is in then that won't work either. emails- are a good form of communication me and my sons teacher communicate this way all the time but what about the parents without email.

I am in no way condoning parents who neglect conferences and corospondences I am just stating different circumstances. Let's face it some parents could care less about their kids education which is sad.


aetrom
by Gold Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:04 PM
I know a dad who is onthe road a lot and a mom who has ms and struggles just to cover basic care of her children. The husband lost his job and took the trucking job. for those who do not know them they probably would consider the kids on their own. But they are loved and supported.


Quoting maxswolfsuit:


Quoting aetrom:

It is hard to judge because there are cases where parents are not able too.... But ii think that is few and far between. It is sad when that happens but seeing some neglect over the years it is minor IMO. Involving cps if there are no other signs would be extreme for already swamped caseworkers. There could be a tax incentive or something fir those who do and maybe that would motivate those who do not? I don't know!

What do you mean not able to?

I'm not talking about missing a conference because of a work schedule. I'm talking being 100% unavailable to school personnel. Including hiding when they come to your house to talk to you. 

I agree there's no way CPS could handle it. 

I'm just frustrated!


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