Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

What should the repercussion be when parents...

Posted by   + Show Post

don't support their child's education?

If a parent won't contact the school, attend conferences, monitor homework, get their child to school regularly, or return phone calls should there be a consequence for that?

Is this something CPS should get involved in or maybe the court system. Should involvement in education be tied to PA benefits? Or is it a parent's right to neglect their child's education?

Debate...

by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:15 PM
Replies (71-80):
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 2:14 PM

Amen sister!  Well stated!!

Quoting HH6:

As a teacher, I wish there was a way to require a parent's involvement.  I am held solely responsible (through my evaluations as well as the public's perception) for the academic success of my students yet every study available confirms that a child's home situation is the strongest determining factor in their success.  As a teacher I take full responsibility for MY role in every child's success and I hope that I have a positive influence on every student I teach but to be told repeatedly by the public that kids are failing because of poor teachers and schools is beyond frustrating.  I work my tail off every day and on the weekends to come up with solutions for my students who are challenged in some way but, bottom line, I am not the sole determining factor in their life - their parent's influence on their daily situation is much greater than mine.  I think that this may be the frustration of the original poster.  There is ALWAYS a way for parents to be involved.  It doesn't mean they have to have $$ or a schedule that works with the school.  Respond to my phone calls, my e-mails.  Tell me HOW I can help you and your child.  Enforce responsibility with your child, show them that education is a priority in your house.  If you can do these things and communicate with me about your personal situation, I can find a way to help you and your child.  What I refuse to do is pretend that I (as a teacher) am free, state run daycare that is solely responsible for your child.  YOU gave birth to them, you have raised them.  I have them for 54 minutes a day.  I WANT to help you.  I WANT to help your child.  I am willing and able to be flexible and creative to deal with different situations but you, the parent, must show you care and are willing to be a part of your child's educational team.  That may not look the same for every parent and that is 100% OK.  Just do what you can and tell me how I can help but please, do not refuse to do anything, come with a list of excuses, and then point an accusing finger at the school when your child fails.  


maxswolfsuit
by Max on Nov. 18, 2012 at 3:13 PM


Quoting MsLogansMommy:

I have a question and this may be a little off topic but it does tie into the statement about teachers being held solely responsible by evaluations on their students progress. I am a parent who is involved, I always answer the phone, return calls, respond to notes, and attend all meetings, unless I have child care issues. My dd struggles at school and last year she was denied an IEP. What happens when a parent reaches out for help for their child and the school offers none? I am in the process of contacting sylvan for additional help but they are very expensive and I dont know if it is in my budget so where do I turn for additional assistance for my child? btw I sit with her every night and help her with home work I suspect she may have a learning disability and I am in the process of requesting evaluation from this school since we are at a diff school this year

What do you mean your child was denied an IEP?

IEPs aren't just assigned to students. Students qualify for one after extensive testing or tracking. Normally it takes around a year to do this thoroughly, effectively and accurately. In order for an IEP to really benefit the child there must be data to indicate why the child is struggling and what type of instruction would be best for her. Giving students extra help isn't going to be very beneficial if it's the wrong kind of help.

What makes you suspect a processing disorder? What kinds of grades does your child earn? How far behind do you think she is? What evaluation has the school done? What does the new school say about your concerns?

Also keep in mind that just because a student doesn't have an IEP that doesn't mean they aren't getting help. In most places a child who is being evaluated in put in a program called Response to Intervention (RTI). During the RTI process the student is getting one on one help daily or several times a week on the skills they need the most help in. Kids can get lots of extra help without any kind of label. 

Also, I would never use a big tutoring company like Sylvan. They charge outrageous fees but pay tutors very little. Teachers can make much more tutoring on their own. All the Sylvan tutors I know are either teachers who can't get jobs or people with no teaching certification. I know two people in two different states who were told by Sylvan to lie if anyone asked about their certification because they had none. 

Check Craig's List, call the local library or ask at the school if there any teachers who will tutor. You may even be able to find an education student. It will be less that Sylvan and you'll get instruction for your child. Not a canned program with progress monitoring that is intentionally designed to make it look like the kids are making more progress than they are. 


aetrom
by Gold Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 4:15 PM
They should. I am just saying there could be more going on. In discussing hiding in the house when you stop by that is crazy. I am wholly interested in my children's education as you know. I have others I know that are not. I do not get it but it does not mean they are not good parents. I know some that the mom does not get the messages (I now email her) because they tell husband who drops off and picks up. But he does not read the message board and so she did not get messages!


Quoting maxswolfsuit:

Why couldn't those parents respond to notes or calls from the school?

Quoting aetrom:

I know a dad who is onthe road a lot and a mom who has ms and struggles just to cover basic care of her children. The husband lost his job and took the trucking job. for those who do not know them they probably would consider the kids on their own. But they are loved and supported.





Quoting maxswolfsuit:


Quoting aetrom:

It is hard to judge because there are cases where parents are not able too.... But ii think that is few and far between. It is sad when that happens but seeing some neglect over the years it is minor IMO. Involving cps if there are no other signs would be extreme for already swamped caseworkers. There could be a tax incentive or something fir those who do and maybe that would motivate those who do not? I don't know!

What do you mean not able to?

I'm not talking about missing a conference because of a work schedule. I'm talking being 100% unavailable to school personnel. Including hiding when they come to your house to talk to you. 

I agree there's no way CPS could handle it. 

I'm just frustrated!





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MsLogansMommy
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:04 PM

when my dd was in kinder she had behavior problems due to ADHD and she was suspended from kinder 4 times her teacher also talked about having her repeat kinder I requested from the school to have her evaluated for LDs and they declined they said they didnt see a reason and then the teacher never mentioned holding her back again in fact she then said that my dd was still struggling but was passing. My dd has a diagnosis of ADHD combined type and I sent a copy of that with my request for evaluation and I also mentioned in the letter my concern that my dd is dyslexic the principal refused to have her tested. I would have pursued the issue further but by the time I had gotten to that point the school year was almost over and I knew we were going to be in a different district for 1st grade so now we are at a new school and I am going to try again to have her evaluated.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:


Quoting MsLogansMommy:

I have a question and this may be a little off topic but it does tie into the statement about teachers being held solely responsible by evaluations on their students progress. I am a parent who is involved, I always answer the phone, return calls, respond to notes, and attend all meetings, unless I have child care issues. My dd struggles at school and last year she was denied an IEP. What happens when a parent reaches out for help for their child and the school offers none? I am in the process of contacting sylvan for additional help but they are very expensive and I dont know if it is in my budget so where do I turn for additional assistance for my child? btw I sit with her every night and help her with home work I suspect she may have a learning disability and I am in the process of requesting evaluation from this school since we are at a diff school this year

What do you mean your child was denied an IEP?

IEPs aren't just assigned to students. Students qualify for one after extensive testing or tracking. Normally it takes around a year to do this thoroughly, effectively and accurately. In order for an IEP to really benefit the child there must be data to indicate why the child is struggling and what type of instruction would be best for her. Giving students extra help isn't going to be very beneficial if it's the wrong kind of help.

What makes you suspect a processing disorder? What kinds of grades does your child earn? How far behind do you think she is? What evaluation has the school done? What does the new school say about your concerns?

Also keep in mind that just because a student doesn't have an IEP that doesn't mean they aren't getting help. In most places a child who is being evaluated in put in a program called Response to Intervention (RTI). During the RTI process the student is getting one on one help daily or several times a week on the skills they need the most help in. Kids can get lots of extra help without any kind of label. 

Also, I would never use a big tutoring company like Sylvan. They charge outrageous fees but pay tutors very little. Teachers can make much more tutoring on their own. All the Sylvan tutors I know are either teachers who can't get jobs or people with no teaching certification. I know two people in two different states who were told by Sylvan to lie if anyone asked about their certification because they had none. 

Check Craig's List, call the local library or ask at the school if there any teachers who will tutor. You may even be able to find an education student. It will be less that Sylvan and you'll get instruction for your child. Not a canned program with progress monitoring that is intentionally designed to make it look like the kids are making more progress than they are. 



maxswolfsuit
by Max on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:07 PM

Have you considered getting a 504 plan for her? The process for that is much quicker and she has a medical diagnosis so she would most likely qualify. Is she doing better this year?

I don't know how the school justified not evaluating. As far as I know, if you request in writing they have to follow up. Maybe that's not the rule everywhere. 

But if her ADHD is what's impacting her learning she might not qualify for an IEP. The 504 may be the better option. 

Quoting MsLogansMommy:

when my dd was in kinder she had behavior problems due to ADHD and she was suspended from kinder 4 times her teacher also talked about having her repeat kinder I requested from the school to have her evaluated for LDs and they declined they said they didnt see a reason and then the teacher never mentioned holding her back again in fact she then said that my dd was still struggling but was passing. My dd has a diagnosis of ADHD combined type and I sent a copy of that with my request for evaluation and I also mentioned in the letter my concern that my dd is dyslexic the principal refused to have her tested. I would have pursued the issue further but by the time I had gotten to that point the school year was almost over and I knew we were going to be in a different district for 1st grade so now we are at a new school and I am going to try again to have her evaluated.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:


Quoting MsLogansMommy:

I have a question and this may be a little off topic but it does tie into the statement about teachers being held solely responsible by evaluations on their students progress. I am a parent who is involved, I always answer the phone, return calls, respond to notes, and attend all meetings, unless I have child care issues. My dd struggles at school and last year she was denied an IEP. What happens when a parent reaches out for help for their child and the school offers none? I am in the process of contacting sylvan for additional help but they are very expensive and I dont know if it is in my budget so where do I turn for additional assistance for my child? btw I sit with her every night and help her with home work I suspect she may have a learning disability and I am in the process of requesting evaluation from this school since we are at a diff school this year

What do you mean your child was denied an IEP?

IEPs aren't just assigned to students. Students qualify for one after extensive testing or tracking. Normally it takes around a year to do this thoroughly, effectively and accurately. In order for an IEP to really benefit the child there must be data to indicate why the child is struggling and what type of instruction would be best for her. Giving students extra help isn't going to be very beneficial if it's the wrong kind of help.

What makes you suspect a processing disorder? What kinds of grades does your child earn? How far behind do you think she is? What evaluation has the school done? What does the new school say about your concerns?

Also keep in mind that just because a student doesn't have an IEP that doesn't mean they aren't getting help. In most places a child who is being evaluated in put in a program called Response to Intervention (RTI). During the RTI process the student is getting one on one help daily or several times a week on the skills they need the most help in. Kids can get lots of extra help without any kind of label. 

Also, I would never use a big tutoring company like Sylvan. They charge outrageous fees but pay tutors very little. Teachers can make much more tutoring on their own. All the Sylvan tutors I know are either teachers who can't get jobs or people with no teaching certification. I know two people in two different states who were told by Sylvan to lie if anyone asked about their certification because they had none. 

Check Craig's List, call the local library or ask at the school if there any teachers who will tutor. You may even be able to find an education student. It will be less that Sylvan and you'll get instruction for your child. Not a canned program with progress monitoring that is intentionally designed to make it look like the kids are making more progress than they are. 




GwenMB
by Gwen on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:24 PM


Quoting maxswolfsuit:

I have a student right now that I am trying to get an IEP for. But I need a documented parent conference for the RTI process to progress. I've called over and over, sent notes with the child, mailed notes, and sent the social worker. Mom answered the phone one time and scheduled a conference but didn't show up for it. 

She's been in school for 7 years and none of teachers have ever met her parents or spoken to them on the phone. I've never gotten more than a signature from her as far as communication. I know she's literate because I taught her other child years ago and she was involved then. 

In this case, I would wonder what has changed in this mother's life that makes being involved in her daughter's education.  Is the mother now in an abusive/controlling relationship where her partner makes it impossible for mom to do anything with the school?  Is mom fighting a mental issue now (like depression) where its impossible for her to do what she should be doing?  Is mom now working a job (or jobs) that makes it difficult to impossible to do what most parents do?  None of these things necessarily excuse not contacting your child's teacher when they want to talk to you, but they may explain why it isn't happening.

(It is a lot easier to say leave that relationship, treat that depression, find a different job, than it is to do any of those things.)

Have you talked with your principal about getting this student the IEP she needs without parental involvement since you can clearly document parental indifference?  In this case, it seems to me that the repercussion to parental indifference should be the parents not having a say in their child's education & the school making the decisions.

sandra1023
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:25 PM

I'm a social worker in Ky, and we get involved in these cases if it is reported.

GwenMB
by Gwen on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:26 PM

BTW, where do you teach?  Not the specific school or town, but more generally, do you teach in a rural area, suburban area, inner city?

You've talked about the awful parents many of your kids have before, so I'm just curious where the school is in general terms.

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:29 PM

It's rural.

Quoting GwenMB:

BTW, where do you teach?  Not the specific school or town, but more generally, do you teach in a rural area, suburban area, inner city?

You've talked about the awful parents many of your kids have before, so I'm just curious where the school is in general terms.


maxswolfsuit
by Max on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:32 PM


Quoting GwenMB:


Quoting maxswolfsuit:

I have a student right now that I am trying to get an IEP for. But I need a documented parent conference for the RTI process to progress. I've called over and over, sent notes with the child, mailed notes, and sent the social worker. Mom answered the phone one time and scheduled a conference but didn't show up for it. 

She's been in school for 7 years and none of teachers have ever met her parents or spoken to them on the phone. I've never gotten more than a signature from her as far as communication. I know she's literate because I taught her other child years ago and she was involved then. 

In this case, I would wonder what has changed in this mother's life that makes being involved in her daughter's education.  Is the mother now in an abusive/controlling relationship where her partner makes it impossible for mom to do anything with the school?  Is mom fighting a mental issue now (like depression) where its impossible for her to do what she should be doing?  Is mom now working a job (or jobs) that makes it difficult to impossible to do what most parents do?  None of these things necessarily excuse not contacting your child's teacher when they want to talk to you, but they may explain why it isn't happening.

(It is a lot easier to say leave that relationship, treat that depression, find a different job, than it is to do any of those things.)

Have you talked with your principal about getting this student the IEP she needs without parental involvement since you can clearly document parental indifference?  In this case, it seems to me that the repercussion to parental indifference should be the parents not having a say in their child's education & the school making the decisions.

My suspicion is that it has to do with drug addiction. 

There is no way to place a student in an ESE program without a parent's signature. Normally, the parent is required to meet at the school to discuss everything. In extreme cases like this it can be done with a signature. But without at least that, the child cannot have an active IEP. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN