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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Special needs Adult Help

Posted by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:31 AM
  • 7 Replies

I am so frustrate, overwhelm and tired........ I take care of my special needs brother. We live in New Jersey and he lives with me. I  attend doctor visit, and also SSI meeting. Here is little background on me and my brother. 

My brother and I are from St. Croix U.S. Virgin Island. At a earlier age he was diagnosis with ADHD but in my opinion I feel like he was not properly diagnosis.  St.Croix is a territory of United States there are a few programs that will help children with special needs. The programs that  in St. Croix are did not  cater to my brother.

So moving forward to 2012 my brother has a speech problem and he is adult with child like mind....... My sister who has concern for him felt since he arrive in new jersey there is no progress. I was so mad when I finish conversation with her on phone I ranted like a lunatic. If   my sister felt  that way since she is stressing her concern why don't you give me more help than give me list of doctors that can not help him............ Yes he is overweight, yes he has low self esteem etc  Since she got her master in special education she received a recommendation from speech therapy friend which was a dead end. She offer  to help my brother if we could not get the help on speech therapy she would offer to help him one on one by reading the newspaper. 

She complains I live to far and I asked her why she can do it next week weekend. She might has plan. bullS*T

I am sorry I need to vent. I feel like when I do try to get help in jersey city NJ I get I am sorry we only help children or stroke patient for speech therapy..............  In my perfect world I wish there was place especially for adult where I can get help instead of number,  to fill out lots of paper work, and get a disinterest counselor who looks tired and underpaid.


by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:31 AM
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Replies (1-7):
RLSMOM59
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 10:08 AM
1 mom liked this

Well I don't know what part of Jersey you are in but have you tried going to a college that is a "teaching" college? I think Temple University should have a place for "students" to work with special needs adults and they may be able to help you with resources. Rutgers may have the same. What about contacting a special needs home/day cares - not to put him in but to help you. It sounds like you are doing the best you can but are fighting a system. I hope you can get you brother the help he needs. As for your sister, take her calls, get over the how you doing part, put the phone done, do something else, pick the phone back up and say umm-hum a couple of times, when she finishes talking say good bye and move on.  :-)

I just read you are in Jersey City (too early for me) and I googled and found this informaton:

http://jerseycitynj.gov/recreation.aspx?id=4090 - Special Olympics and GLAD

http://www.hudsoncountynj.org/1office-on-aging.aspx - Office of Aging

http://www.strengthforcaring.com/util/resources/states/state/new-jersey.html - this site gives you many resources

I would still look into colleges to see what the have to offer


maxswolfsuit
by Max on Nov. 18, 2012 at 10:13 AM

I am so sorry you're going through this. Serves for adults are very hard to come by. 

Your sister needs to back off. If she doesn't like the care you're giving your brother she should offer to take over. If she's not willing to do that she should keep quiet!

Also reading the newspaper probably isn't the best way to help him with reading. Have you looked into GED and Adult Basic Education (ABE) classes in your area?

VeronicaTex
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:50 PM

((Hugs)), janitablue.

I totally understand the vent.  I have hit that point with my daughter also.  

My daughter, who is a child with Down Syndrome of 19,  is with me 24/7. 

I chose to withdraw her from school three years ago because of impulsive conduct that could have led to lawsuits against us. She has a mental capacity of a toddler.  She can speak in one word sentences. She is considered severely to profoundly retarded.  I use a lot of Behavior Modification with her and use every possible moment to work in speech during the day. Despite her limited abilities as compared to typical children she is a very bright loving child, is learning to be independent and is truly the bright point of my day.

She got services for a while with Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy.  These were all terminated when they determined they could not go any further.  She is a one-on-one person. She is too fast and too clever to be happy in any facility.  They are severely understaffed.

I know how she would behave in a workshop-not too well.....She was not created to be in the public eye either.

I also do not have any respite care workers.  The last two I had I found to not br reliable, besides being too attached to their cell phones.  My daughter needs constant supervision outside the home.  

I have taken on the sole responsibility of taking care of her educational needs and of course being her Mother in every sense of the word. 

I have taken it upon myself to do research as to how to help her when I am with her.  It is very different from being a school teacher.  After several years of hard work we are at a good place in our relationship in many areas.

I wish I could help you in a concrete way.  If you ever need to talk privately, just contact me.

I will be praying for you that you get the help that you need to be in the best of health for yourself and the rest of the ones that need you.

Take care, Mama,

Veronica



sunflowers12
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 1:02 PM
1 mom liked this

banging head into wallseems like a tough situation but i think your doing the best you can keep up the hard work... 

janitablue
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 5:34 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you so much I truly appreciate it. The third website is the jackpot full with information. thank you

Quoting RLSMOM59:

Well I don't know what part of Jersey you are in but have you tried going to a college that is a "teaching" college? I think Temple University should have a place for "students" to work with special needs adults and they may be able to help you with resources. Rutgers may have the same. What about contacting a special needs home/day cares - not to put him in but to help you. It sounds like you are doing the best you can but are fighting a system. I hope you can get you brother the help he needs. As for your sister, take her calls, get over the how you doing part, put the phone done, do something else, pick the phone back up and say umm-hum a couple of times, when she finishes talking say good bye and move on.  :-)

I just read you are in Jersey City (too early for me) and I googled and found this informaton:

http://jerseycitynj.gov/recreation.aspx?id=4090 - Special Olympics and GLAD

http://www.hudsoncountynj.org/1office-on-aging.aspx - Office of Aging

http://www.strengthforcaring.com/util/resources/states/state/new-jersey.html - this site gives you many resources

I would still look into colleges to see what the have to offer



janitablue
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 5:37 PM

Thank you for your support and love. You daughter is very bless to have wonderful mom like you. Thank you

Quoting VeronicaTex:

((Hugs)), janitablue.

I totally understand the vent.  I have hit that point with my daughter also.  

My daughter, who is a child with Down Syndrome of 19,  is with me 24/7. 

I chose to withdraw her from school three years ago because of impulsive conduct that could have led to lawsuits against us. She has a mental capacity of a toddler.  She can speak in one word sentences. She is considered severely to profoundly retarded.  I use a lot of Behavior Modification with her and use every possible moment to work in speech during the day. Despite her limited abilities as compared to typical children she is a very bright loving child, is learning to be independent and is truly the bright point of my day.

She got services for a while with Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy.  These were all terminated when they determined they could not go any further.  She is a one-on-one person. She is too fast and too clever to be happy in any facility.  They are severely understaffed.

I know how she would behave in a workshop-not too well.....She was not created to be in the public eye either.

I also do not have any respite care workers.  The last two I had I found to not br reliable, besides being too attached to their cell phones.  My daughter needs constant supervision outside the home.  

I have taken on the sole responsibility of taking care of her educational needs and of course being her Mother in every sense of the word. 

I have taken it upon myself to do research as to how to help her when I am with her.  It is very different from being a school teacher.  After several years of hard work we are at a good place in our relationship in many areas.

I wish I could help you in a concrete way.  If you ever need to talk privately, just contact me.

I will be praying for you that you get the help that you need to be in the best of health for yourself and the rest of the ones that need you.

Take care, Mama,

Veronica



janitablue
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 5:42 PM

I have tried the GED personally for myself to improve on my grammar. I think the pace is too fast for my brother thank you so much for your advice.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:

I am so sorry you're going through this. Serves for adults are very hard to come by. 

Your sister needs to back off. If she doesn't like the care you're giving your brother she should offer to take over. If she's not willing to do that she should keep quiet!

Also reading the newspaper probably isn't the best way to help him with reading. Have you looked into GED and Adult Basic Education (ABE) classes in your area?


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