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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

But its not fair !

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 3:14 AM
  • 14 Replies

Your 6-year-old now

On one hand, your child understands that being fair means sharing and not leaving out other children, and that misbehavior brings appropriate consequences. On the other hand, sixes' obsession with rule-making and rule-breaking muddies the water. It can be hard to distinguish what's equitable when you can't agree on the rules. Just witness a group of 6-year-olds who spend more time creating the rules to a game than playing it.


Your child may also not understand that rules are adapted according to age or ability. They think everyone should follow the same rules, and their black-and-white mentality doesn't allow for what they see as parental "hypocrisy." "You get to stay up late. Why can't I?"

While you don't need to justify all your house rules, be open to discussing the ones that really frustrate your child. Ask her why she thinks they're unfair. Listen and validate. "I understand your frustration. It may seem unfair that you have to empty the dishwasher all the time. But your little brother isn't old enough to handle the knives. I ask him to pick up toys instead."

CafeMom Tickers
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 3:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Lydlou02
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 5:11 AM
My son just brought home a book about fairness. It focuses on the difference between fair and equal. Just because people are treated differently doesn't mean it's not fair.
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maxswolfsuit
by Max on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:36 AM

I got a really interesting book on child development this summer called Yardsticks. 

It's for teachers. But it would be interesting for parents too. It breaks down developmental traits students share at each grade level. It's a little disturbing how on the mark it is. 

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:37 AM


Quoting Lydlou02:

My son just brought home a book about fairness. It focuses on the difference between fair and equal. Just because people are treated differently doesn't mean it's not fair.

That's a complicated concept for the little guys. But an important one to work on getting them to understand. 

Lydlou02
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:06 AM
He said something about making everyone wear a cast if one person broke their arm.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:


Quoting Lydlou02:

My son just brought home a book about fairness. It focuses on the difference between fair and equal. Just because people are treated differently doesn't mean it's not fair.

That's a complicated concept for the little guys. But an important one to work on getting them to understand. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
maxswolfsuit
by Max on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:08 AM

LOL

That seems very reasonable. 

Quoting Lydlou02:

He said something about making everyone wear a cast if one person broke their arm.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:


Quoting Lydlou02:

My son just brought home a book about fairness. It focuses on the difference between fair and equal. Just because people are treated differently doesn't mean it's not fair.

That's a complicated concept for the little guys. But an important one to work on getting them to understand. 


frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:11 AM

This is definitely a concept dd has trouble with especially when different expectations are on each age of child she is around.

miss_AP
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 3:28 PM

Thanks, that was good for me to read today!

frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 4:36 PM


Quoting miss_AP:

Thanks, that was good for me to read today!

Has the not fair fairy hit your house today?

mom22tumblebugs
by Gold Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 6:36 PM

I have to buy two of everything, in the same color, to keep things "fair". Either buy two or nothing is my life right now.

janitablue
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 6:40 PM

No but this post is very informative.

Quoting frndlyfn:


Quoting miss_AP:

Thanks, that was good for me to read today!

Has the not fair fairy hit your house today?



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