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Bullying

Posted by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:47 AM
  • 28 Replies

It seems to be that time of year again when the term bullying is thrown out for every little disagreement.  The term has generated a life of it's own and for many has expanded to include someone not liking their child or just not wanting to play with them.  The definition guiding most school settings includes REPEATED behaviors aimed at a student, not just one incident.  What is your definition?

by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:47 AM
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aetrom
by Gold Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:54 AM
1 mom liked this
A continued antagonization of a child by one or more where the child feels helpless and unable to defend themselves.

For example twice the same child has stolen something from my son, so my son says, but I do not see it as bullying yet. If it continues it could be considered bullying in the end....
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VeronicaTex
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:21 AM

Adding to this definition:  This to me is just the beginning of bullying. 

When it is one child only doing the antagonizing the first time I would call that singling out.  The second time, done by the same person antagonizing,  I would say that it enters into bullying phase.

If other children enter the antagonizing, the group activity I would most certainly categorize as bullying.  

Veronica-Elementary School teacher in the Catholic schools and Public Schools (Bilingual/ESL classroom for 21 years.






















 

Quoting aetrom:

A continued antagonization of a child by one or more where the child feels helpless and unable to defend themselves.



maxswolfsuit
by Max on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:38 AM
5 moms liked this

I wish that word could be eradicated from the English language. 

Bullying must be repeated and generally the bully his greater power or influence through age or social status. 

I have a huge issue with adults intervening in "bullying" issue when students haven't tried to solve the issues on their own. Kids are capable of handling so much more than we let them. I have seen a startling decline in the coping and social skills of my students through my 15 career. Kids are no longer able to handle disputes without an adult. They don't stick up for themselves. They've been told they need help from a grown up when someone is mean so they don't even try to handle it on their own. 

Even worse, kids no longer understand that another person's unkind words don't have to ruin your day or your life. Children used to be able to roll their eyes and brush things off. Now they been trained to cry for help every time someone isn't nice to them. We are telling them they've been abused when someone is mean, rude or inconsiderate. We are creating a whole generation of victims. 

How will these children handle adulthood when they expect someone to swoop in and rescue them every time someone is rude?

anxiousschk
by Bronze Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 10:55 AM
1 mom liked this

I find myself consistently agreeing with your replies!  

Quoting maxswolfsuit:

I wish that word could be eradicated from the English language. 

Bullying must be repeated and generally the bully his greater power or influence through age or social status. 

I have a huge issue with adults interviewing in "bullying" issue when students haven't tried to solve the issues on their own. Kids are capable of handling so much more than we let them. I have seen a startling decline in the coping and social skills of my students through my 15 career. Kids are no longer able to handle disputes without an adult. They don't stick up for themselves. They've been told they need help from a grown up when someone is mean so they don't even try to handle it on their own. 

Even worse, kids no longer understand that another person's unkind words don't have to ruin your day or your life. Children used to be able to roll their eyes and brush things off. Now they been trained to cry for help every time someone isn't nice to them. We are telling them they've been abused when someone is mean, rude or inconsiderate. We are creating a whole generation of victims. 

How will these children handle adulthood when they expect someone to swoop in and rescue them every time someone is rude?


mjande4
by Platinum Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 11:03 AM
Quoting maxswolfsuit:

I wish that word could be eradicated from the English language. 

Bullying must be repeated and generally the bully his greater power or influence through age or social status. 

I have a huge issue with adults interviewing in "bullying" issue when students haven't tried to solve the issues on their own. Kids are capable of handling so much more than we let them. I have seen a startling decline in the coping and social skills of my students through my 15 career. Kids are no longer able to handle disputes without an adult. They don't stick up for themselves. They've been told they need help from a grown up when someone is mean so they don't even try to handle it on their own. 

Even worse, kids no longer understand that another person's unkind words don't have to ruin your day or your life. Children used to be able to roll their eyes and brush things off. Now they been trained to cry for help every time someone isn't nice to them. We are telling them they've been abused when someone is mean, rude or inconsiderate. We are creating a whole generation of victims. 

How will these children handle adulthood when they expect someone to swoop in and rescue them every time someone is rude?



I agree with everything you have said!!
VeronicaTex
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 11:17 AM
1 mom liked this

Two thoughts I'd like to share here at this point:

1.  When I was growing up I stuttered severely, and was made fun of by many people.  There was one girl in particular that would pick on me and it would get physical.  Once this girl pinned me down and pulled my dress up in front of many kids on the playground. All I could do was fight back in my defense.   I did tell my Mother about the incident and when she reported it to the principal, he suggested I was lying.  

I ask these questions:  What could I have done?  How could I have made an impact, being a stutterer?  

Even the adult who was supposed to be protecting me couldn't have been relied on. to intervene.  

He had bias toward the girl picking on me.  In addition to that, my brothers went through some incidents that by today's standards were pretty horrific in terms of humiliation, by both teachers and principal.


2.  This is from when I taught in the bilingual classroom in an At Risk school where the greatest percentage of the 500 children were Afro-American:   I had to be present in a conference where one of my boys from Mexico, shy and not yet knowing English,  had his backpack flung across the cafeteria floor by an American.

This incident had more details to it:  enough to get the American reported for what he did, and how the boy from Mexico tried to defend himself.

Being this Mexican boy's teacher,  I translated for the Mother of the boy from Mexico, in the presence of the vice-principal exactly what happened.  The Mother herself was a very humble woman, and for me it was embarrassing  having to share with her that an American did this to her son, the American, knowing full well he had the advantage over my student not being able to speak English


When I was a child I didn't have the coping mechanisms to be assertive and defending. (not defensive). , much less the ability to put my thoughts into fluid speech.

It was the same with my students who did not know English, but they knew they were being antagonized and eventually bullied.  There was no way they could have handled that situation on their own.  

Veronica


Raeann11
by Bronze Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 11:25 AM

To me is is a repeated thing. Not a one time thing.

MomofSCMJJA
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 11:33 AM
2 moms liked this

I define bullying as behavior that is INTENDED to cause physical harm or emotional distress.  Kids say stupid things and sometimes they hurt someone's feelings.  Accidents happen and somtimes someone gets hurt due to carelessness.  I tell my kids to forget about it and go on.  But some kids take joy in seeing others hurting.  They search for a target and purposely seek out and attack that child in a way that will cause the most hurt.  They are bullies-whether they do it once or do it again and again. 

HyperMom38
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 11:39 AM

I think a one time incident of a kid being mean to another kid is NOT bullying- even if the kid being mean was older or more powerful in some way.  Bullying is when a kid or group of kids continuously verbally,  mentally, or physically harm another child.

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Nov. 21, 2012 at 11:41 AM


Quoting VeronicaTex:

Two thoughts I'd like to share here at this point:

1.  When I was growing up I stuttered severely, and was made fun of by many people.  There was one girl in particular that would pick on me and it would get physical.  Once this girl pinned me down and pulled my dress up in front of many kids on the playground. All I could do was fight back in my defense.   I did tell my Mother about the incident and when she reported it to the principal, he suggested I was lying.  

I ask these questions:  What could I have done?  How could I have made an impact, being a stutterer?  

Even the adult who was supposed to be protecting me couldn't have been relied on. to intervene.  

He had bias toward the girl picking on me.  In addition to that, my brothers went through some incidents that by today's standards were pretty horrific in terms of humiliation, by both teachers and principal.


2.  This is from when I taught in the bilingual classroom in an At Risk school where the greatest percentage of the 500 children were Afro-American:   I had to be present in a conference where one of my boys from Mexico, shy and not yet knowing English,  had his backpack flung across the cafeteria floor by an American.

This incident had more details to it:  enough to get the American reported for what he did, and how the boy from Mexico tried to defend himself.

Being this Mexican boy's teacher,  I translated for the Mother of the boy from Mexico, in the presence of the vice-principal exactly what happened.  The Mother herself was a very humble woman, and for me it was embarrassing  having to share with her that an American did this to her son, the American, knowing full well he had the advantage over my student not being able to speak English


When I was a child I didn't have the coping mechanisms to be assertive and defending. (not defensive). , much less the ability to put my thoughts into fluid speech.

Isn't that the bigger issue than what other kids did? Just because you didn't have the coping skills, didn't mean you couldn't have learned them. I'm not saying nothing should be done when kids pick on each other. I'm saying we've totally lost focus in teaching kids the coping skills they will need as adults. Many students with various disabilities and non English speaking students have the skills they need to combat other students insensitivity. We need to focus on making sure more more kids have those tools. 

It was the same with my students who did not know English, but they knew they were being antagonized and eventually bullied.  There was no way they could have handled that situation on their own.  

Veronica



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