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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

It seems to be that time of year again when the term bullying is thrown out for every little disagreement.  The term has generated a life of it's own and for many has expanded to include someone not liking their child or just not wanting to play with them.  The definition guiding most school settings includes REPEATED behaviors aimed at a student, not just one incident.  What is your definition?

by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:47 AM
Replies (21-28):
rollinhard07
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 6:32 PM
I guess I may be the odd one out cause I tell my kids just to walk away although my 11yr. old from time to time tells me that she gets verbal with troublemakers. As long as it doesn't escalate I'm fine with that.
She once told me that she slapped a student because he was messing with a special needs student. The teacher that was assisting the student had already warned the boy but he continued and my daughter slapped him and he tried to complain to the teacher but she said she didn't see anything.


Quoting maxswolfsuit:

I wish that word could be eradicated from the English language. 

Bullying must be repeated and generally the bully his greater power or influence through age or social status. 

I have a huge issue with adults intervening in "bullying" issue when students haven't tried to solve the issues on their own. Kids are capable of handling so much more than we let them. I have seen a startling decline in the coping and social skills of my students through my 15 career. Kids are no longer able to handle disputes without an adult. They don't stick up for themselves. They've been told they need help from a grown up when someone is mean so they don't even try to handle it on their own. 

Even worse, kids no longer understand that another person's unkind words don't have to ruin your day or your life. Children used to be able to roll their eyes and brush things off. Now they been trained to cry for help every time someone isn't nice to them. We are telling them they've been abused when someone is mean, rude or inconsiderate. We are creating a whole generation of victims. 

How will these children handle adulthood when they expect someone to swoop in and rescue them every time someone is rude?


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PinkButterfly66
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 8:44 PM

My daughter was bullied by a kid thru most of 4th grade.  I complained to the counselor, and nothing happened.  All the counselor did was have my child and her bully talk in her office.  

I complained to her teachers and requested that they keep the child away from my daughter.  Her homeroom teacher actually encouraged the bully to engage with her during recess which only allowed the bully to verbally harass her.  Finally after the bully tormented my child in every class one day, I brought the documented events to the principal and demanded that something be done.  


My daughter DID stand up for herself, but this child stole from her, tried to trip her and even hit her in plain view in the library -- but when my daughter complained, the bully stopped hitting her on her shoulders and just tapped her so the librarian did not believe my daughter.  This girl was an expert in operating under the radar and never got caught by any of the teachers until she stole my daughter's markers.  The only reason the teacher believed my daughter because I labeled each and every one of her 50 markers and the teacher clearly saw my daughter's markers in the bully's possession. 


So tell me, how did my daughter fail to stand up for herself?  How come the bullying didn't stop until I was able to document the events and present it to the principal?


Quoting maxswolfsuit:

I wish that word could be eradicated from the English language. 

Bullying must be repeated and generally the bully his greater power or influence through age or social status. 

I have a huge issue with adults intervening in "bullying" issue when students haven't tried to solve the issues on their own. Kids are capable of handling so much more than we let them. I have seen a startling decline in the coping and social skills of my students through my 15 career. Kids are no longer able to handle disputes without an adult. They don't stick up for themselves. They've been told they need help from a grown up when someone is mean so they don't even try to handle it on their own. 

Even worse, kids no longer understand that another person's unkind words don't have to ruin your day or your life. Children used to be able to roll their eyes and brush things off. Now they been trained to cry for help every time someone isn't nice to them. We are telling them they've been abused when someone is mean, rude or inconsiderate. We are creating a whole generation of victims. 

How will these children handle adulthood when they expect someone to swoop in and rescue them every time someone is rude?


mjande4
by Platinum Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 8:53 PM
Quoting PinkButterfly66:



There are true accounts of bullying, although the majority talked about on this site are not. In your post all you talk about is what YOU did. What did your DAUGHTER do to remedy the situation? While she may have taken the initiative to solve the problem, based on what you have written it sounds like you are "fighting" her battles. If that's not the case, then I apologize.
Cindy18
by Cruella on Nov. 23, 2012 at 7:06 AM

Love your definition. 


PinkButterfly66
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 8:59 AM

She reported each incident. The adults around her failed her EACH AND EVERY TIME.  What else could she have done?  The child was in 4th grade, of course I am going to be her advocate and "fight" her battle.  The bully was bigger than my daughter and told her on more than one occasion she did not like her.  The only thing my daughter did was to be the new girl and get good grades.

Quoting mjande4:

Quoting PinkButterfly66:



There are true accounts of bullying, although the majority talked about on this site are not. In your post all you talk about is what YOU did. What did your DAUGHTER do to remedy the situation? While she may have taken the initiative to solve the problem, based on what you have written it sounds like you are "fighting" her battles. If that's not the case, then I apologize.


mjande4
by Platinum Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:29 AM

Your daughter's experience may very well fall under the definition.  You said that you went to the principal.  What changed after this?  Do the girls still go to school together?  Do they still not like each other or are they friends?

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

She reported each incident. The adults around her failed her EACH AND EVERY TIME.  What else could she have done?  The child was in 4th grade, of course I am going to be her advocate and "fight" her battle.  The bully was bigger than my daughter and told her on more than one occasion she did not like her.  The only thing my daughter did was to be the new girl and get good grades.

Quoting mjande4:

Quoting PinkButterfly66:



There are true accounts of bullying, although the majority talked about on this site are not. In your post all you talk about is what YOU did. What did your DAUGHTER do to remedy the situation? While she may have taken the initiative to solve the problem, based on what you have written it sounds like you are "fighting" her battles. If that's not the case, then I apologize.



PinkButterfly66
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:33 AM

Once I got the principal involved, things got better mostly.  The child was warned that if she didn't leave my kid alone she would be moved to another classroom.  She didn't and was moved.  In 5th grade, my daughter's teacher actually looked out for her and kept the bully away.  He told my daughter that he was bullied as a child.  He was truly her protector.  Once my daughter left elementary school, they were no longer together.  My daughter tried to be friends with the bully when she first came to the school, and couldn't understand why that girl was mean to her. They were never friends.  

Quoting mjande4:

Your daughter's experience may very well fall under the definition.  You said that you went to the principal.  What changed after this?  Do the girls still go to school together?  Do they still not like each other or are they friends?

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

She reported each incident. The adults around her failed her EACH AND EVERY TIME.  What else could she have done?  The child was in 4th grade, of course I am going to be her advocate and "fight" her battle.  The bully was bigger than my daughter and told her on more than one occasion she did not like her.  The only thing my daughter did was to be the new girl and get good grades.

Quoting mjande4:

Quoting PinkButterfly66:



There are true accounts of bullying, although the majority talked about on this site are not. In your post all you talk about is what YOU did. What did your DAUGHTER do to remedy the situation? While she may have taken the initiative to solve the problem, based on what you have written it sounds like you are "fighting" her battles. If that's not the case, then I apologize.




mjande4
by Platinum Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:56 AM

Glad it was resolved.  That age group of girls can be rough.  As you indicated, the problems were repeated, which goes with the definition.  Unfortunately, too many parents use it incorrectly which is why when it truly does occur, it tends to be ignored.  It's the "boy who cried wolf" stigma.

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

Once I got the principal involved, things got better mostly.  The child was warned that if she didn't leave my kid alone she would be moved to another classroom.  She didn't and was moved.  In 5th grade, my daughter's teacher actually looked out for her and kept the bully away.  He told my daughter that he was bullied as a child.  He was truly her protector.  Once my daughter left elementary school, they were no longer together.  My daughter tried to be friends with the bully when she first came to the school, and couldn't understand why that girl was mean to her. They were never friends.  

Quoting mjande4:

Your daughter's experience may very well fall under the definition.  You said that you went to the principal.  What changed after this?  Do the girls still go to school together?  Do they still not like each other or are they friends?

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

She reported each incident. The adults around her failed her EACH AND EVERY TIME.  What else could she have done?  The child was in 4th grade, of course I am going to be her advocate and "fight" her battle.  The bully was bigger than my daughter and told her on more than one occasion she did not like her.  The only thing my daughter did was to be the new girl and get good grades.

Quoting mjande4:

Quoting PinkButterfly66:



There are true accounts of bullying, although the majority talked about on this site are not. In your post all you talk about is what YOU did. What did your DAUGHTER do to remedy the situation? While she may have taken the initiative to solve the problem, based on what you have written it sounds like you are "fighting" her battles. If that's not the case, then I apologize.





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