How do you handle tattling? How do teachers handle it?
How do you handle it when a child comes to tell you someone else did something? Does it depend on what the something else is?
If you are babysitting & the child your watching comes to say that your child hit a child you are babysitting, what do you do? Is that different from what you'd do if the hitting was just between your children?
How about in school? If a student goes to a teacher saying that another student did something, how does the teacher handle it?
**I've always felt I didn't want to respond to tattling (similar to what someone said in a different post). But I've had a few discussions & witnessed a couple incidents at my son's school that have me wondering what the best way to handle it really is.
The rule my kids' teachers have said to me is that if no one is hurt, it's tattling. Only tell if someone is getting hurt in some way.
"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification" Romans 14:19
Quoting jillbailey26:The rule my kids' teachers have said to me is that if no one is hurt, it's tattling. Only tell if someone is getting hurt in some way.
What about if its their feelings? Say another student is calling them poopy? (Its a stretch to say that being called poopy is really going to hurt someone's feelings, though.)
I tend to like the rule your kids' teachers' have. I get confused where words fall in there though.
Quoting GwenMB:
Quoting jillbailey26:The rule my kids' teachers have said to me is that if no one is hurt, it's tattling. Only tell if someone is getting hurt in some way.
What about if its their feelings? Say another student is calling them poopy? (Its a stretch to say that being called poopy is really going to hurt someone's feelings, though.)
I tend to like the rule your kids' teachers' have. I get confused where words fall in there though.
You can hurt feelings too. That's how some people bully, so to me, it's not acceptable.
Tattling is something like "He's tearing up his eraser" or "He's not sitting in his chair the right way." That type of stuff. It's not really hurting anyone.
"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification" Romans 14:19
If is something where no one's been physically hurt, our kid's teacher has a tattle book. The kids have write (good practice in 2nd grade) out what was done and by who.
The teacher figures 1) the kids get the 'need to tell' out, and 2) when she reads over the entries, lets her know if there's something going on that she does need to keep an eye out.
Quoting jillbailey26:
Quoting GwenMB:
Quoting jillbailey26:The rule my kids' teachers have said to me is that if no one is hurt, it's tattling. Only tell if someone is getting hurt in some way.
What about if its their feelings? Say another student is calling them poopy? (Its a stretch to say that being called poopy is really going to hurt someone's feelings, though.)
I tend to like the rule your kids' teachers' have. I get confused where words fall in there though.
You can hurt feelings too. That's how some people bully, so to me, it's not acceptable.
Tattling is something like "He's tearing up his eraser" or "He's not sitting in his chair the right way." That type of stuff. It's not really hurting anyone.
Ok, so hurt isn't just physically hurt (I think this is where I've gotten confused). Obviously, words can hurt. I do wonder, sometimes, if we should just take one child's word for it that someone else said something. But we can't ignore everything just because we didn't hear it.
Quoting SuDeNym:If is something where no one's been physically hurt, our kid's teacher has a tattle book. The kids have write (good practice in 2nd grade) out what was done and by who.
The teacher figures 1) the kids get the 'need to tell' out, and 2) when she reads over the entries, lets her know if there's something going on that she does need to keep an eye out.
That's a good idea! Doesn't work in K or preschool (where my boys are at), but it sure would with older kids.
Quoting mama2beautiesnb:
i tell kids unless theres blood or broken bones or unconsciousness i dont wanna hear it. i wouldnt be mad if teacher said the same.
Do you say that if you're babysitting, too? Or do you modify the rule some if you're watching someone else's kids?
Would you be ok with the other mother wanting you to care if its just hitting (for example) that isn't resulting in blood, broken bones or unconsciousnesss?
Quoting GwenMB:
Quoting jillbailey26:
Quoting GwenMB:
Quoting jillbailey26:The rule my kids' teachers have said to me is that if no one is hurt, it's tattling. Only tell if someone is getting hurt in some way.
What about if its their feelings? Say another student is calling them poopy? (Its a stretch to say that being called poopy is really going to hurt someone's feelings, though.)
I tend to like the rule your kids' teachers' have. I get confused where words fall in there though.
You can hurt feelings too. That's how some people bully, so to me, it's not acceptable.
Tattling is something like "He's tearing up his eraser" or "He's not sitting in his chair the right way." That type of stuff. It's not really hurting anyone.
Ok, so hurt isn't just physically hurt (I think this is where I've gotten confused). Obviously, words can hurt. I do wonder, sometimes, if we should just take one child's word for it that someone else said something. But we can't ignore everything just because we didn't hear it.
It's harder when they're younger, but when they're school-aged some are more likely to tell the truth. So if one comes up and says another called him a name, you can actually ask the other kid if he did. Then handle it from there. That's what I do with mine and they typically tell the truth.
"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification" Romans 14:19
Quoting mama2beautiesnb:
i tell kids unless theres blood or broken bones or unconsciousness i dont wanna hear it. i wouldnt be mad if teacher said the same.
Age appropriate chores
- GwenMB
on Nov. 25, 2012 at 2:39 PM