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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

How do you handle tattling? How do teachers handle it?

Posted by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 2:39 PM
  • 40 Replies

How do you handle it when a child comes to tell you someone else did something?  Does it depend on what the something else is?

If you are babysitting & the child your watching comes to say that your child hit a child you are babysitting, what do you do?  Is that different from what you'd do if the hitting was just between your children?

How about in school?  If a student goes to a teacher saying that another student did something, how does the teacher handle it?

**I've always felt I didn't want to respond to tattling (similar to what someone said in a different post).  But I've had a few discussions & witnessed a couple incidents at my son's school that have me wondering what the best way to handle it really is.

by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 2:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jillbailey26
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 2:42 PM
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The rule my kids' teachers have said to me is that if no one is hurt, it's tattling.  Only tell if someone is getting hurt in some way.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

GwenMB
by Gwen on Nov. 25, 2012 at 2:47 PM


Quoting jillbailey26:

The rule my kids' teachers have said to me is that if no one is hurt, it's tattling.  Only tell if someone is getting hurt in some way.

What about if its their feelings?  Say another student is calling them poopy?  (Its a stretch to say that being called poopy is really going to hurt someone's feelings, though.)

I tend to like the rule your kids' teachers' have.  I get confused where words fall in there though.

jillbailey26
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 2:50 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting GwenMB:


Quoting jillbailey26:

The rule my kids' teachers have said to me is that if no one is hurt, it's tattling.  Only tell if someone is getting hurt in some way.

What about if its their feelings?  Say another student is calling them poopy?  (Its a stretch to say that being called poopy is really going to hurt someone's feelings, though.)

I tend to like the rule your kids' teachers' have.  I get confused where words fall in there though.

You can hurt feelings too.  That's how some people bully, so to me, it's not acceptable.

Tattling is something like "He's tearing up his eraser" or "He's not sitting in his chair the right way."  That type of stuff.  It's not really hurting anyone.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

SuDeNym
by Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 2:52 PM

If is something where no one's been physically hurt, our kid's teacher has a tattle book.  The kids have write (good practice in 2nd grade) out what was done and by who.

The teacher figures 1) the kids get the 'need to tell' out, and 2) when she reads over the entries, lets her know if there's something going on that she does need to keep an eye out.

GwenMB
by Gwen on Nov. 25, 2012 at 2:53 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting jillbailey26:


Quoting GwenMB:


Quoting jillbailey26:

The rule my kids' teachers have said to me is that if no one is hurt, it's tattling.  Only tell if someone is getting hurt in some way.

What about if its their feelings?  Say another student is calling them poopy?  (Its a stretch to say that being called poopy is really going to hurt someone's feelings, though.)

I tend to like the rule your kids' teachers' have.  I get confused where words fall in there though.

You can hurt feelings too.  That's how some people bully, so to me, it's not acceptable.

Tattling is something like "He's tearing up his eraser" or "He's not sitting in his chair the right way."  That type of stuff.  It's not really hurting anyone.

Ok, so hurt isn't just physically hurt (I think this is where I've gotten confused).  Obviously, words can hurt.  I do wonder, sometimes, if we should just take one child's word for it that someone else said something.  But we can't ignore everything just because we didn't hear it.

mama2beautiesnb
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 2:54 PM
1 mom liked this
i tell kids unless theres blood or broken bones or unconsciousness i dont wanna hear it. i wouldnt be mad if teacher said the same.
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GwenMB
by Gwen on Nov. 25, 2012 at 2:55 PM


Quoting SuDeNym:

If is something where no one's been physically hurt, our kid's teacher has a tattle book.  The kids have write (good practice in 2nd grade) out what was done and by who.

The teacher figures 1) the kids get the 'need to tell' out, and 2) when she reads over the entries, lets her know if there's something going on that she does need to keep an eye out.

That's a good idea!  Doesn't work in K or preschool (where my boys are at), but it sure would with older kids.

GwenMB
by Gwen on Nov. 25, 2012 at 2:57 PM


Quoting mama2beautiesnb:

i tell kids unless theres blood or broken bones or unconsciousness i dont wanna hear it. i wouldnt be mad if teacher said the same.

Do you say that if you're babysitting, too?  Or do you modify the rule some if you're watching someone else's kids?

Would you be ok with the other mother wanting you to care if its just hitting (for example) that isn't resulting in blood, broken bones or unconsciousnesss?

jillbailey26
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 2:57 PM


Quoting GwenMB:


Quoting jillbailey26:


Quoting GwenMB:


Quoting jillbailey26:

The rule my kids' teachers have said to me is that if no one is hurt, it's tattling.  Only tell if someone is getting hurt in some way.

What about if its their feelings?  Say another student is calling them poopy?  (Its a stretch to say that being called poopy is really going to hurt someone's feelings, though.)

I tend to like the rule your kids' teachers' have.  I get confused where words fall in there though.

You can hurt feelings too.  That's how some people bully, so to me, it's not acceptable.

Tattling is something like "He's tearing up his eraser" or "He's not sitting in his chair the right way."  That type of stuff.  It's not really hurting anyone.

Ok, so hurt isn't just physically hurt (I think this is where I've gotten confused).  Obviously, words can hurt.  I do wonder, sometimes, if we should just take one child's word for it that someone else said something.  But we can't ignore everything just because we didn't hear it.

It's harder when they're younger, but when they're school-aged some are more likely to tell the truth.  So if one comes up and says another called him a name, you can actually ask the other kid if he did.  Then handle it from there.  That's what I do with mine and they typically tell the truth.  


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

mjande4
by Platinum Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 3:15 PM
1 mom liked this
This has always been the rule in our house too. I can't stand tattling and if kids aren't given guidelines it can be seriously annoying. This goes along with the lack of problem solving skills by kids that we have talked about in this group recently. Kids who know the difference between a serious issue versus a petty little gripe/nuisance don't make pests of themselves.
Quoting mama2beautiesnb:

i tell kids unless theres blood or broken bones or unconsciousness i dont wanna hear it. i wouldnt be mad if teacher said the same.

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