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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Taking away Christmas

Posted by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 7:41 PM
  • 42 Replies
Have you ever threatened to take away Christmas?

Have you ever taken away Chriatmas?

I've always semi-threatened to take away Christmas to my 9 year old ("Santa won't bring you things if you are on the naughty list" or "I'm telling Granda not to buy you stuff"...cuz Grandma buys good stuff)

This year. I have cancelled any real Christmas for my 9 year old. Her behavior has been awful. So much so that she was already down to just getting socks, underwear and other necessities about a month ago. On Sunday she stole money from a neighbor then Monday stole money from my SIL and 6yo nephew. She got busted for the stealing by all 3 people who she stole from and yet she told each and every one of them that I gave her the money....then told her dad the neighbor gave it to her. I was at work while all of this went down. She assumed no one would verify the neighbor story.....because they moved out. Little does she know that they are my FRIENDS! and we don't only talk because we are neighbors.

Anyways. She might get a few gifts from reletives......but NOTHING will be from Santa or mom & dad. I went shopping today and spent all the extra $ on my nephews, my 2yo daughter, and other friends & family. Not a penny for Kai.

If her behavior improves, I might take her clothes & shoe shopping after the New Year. I am so frustrated with her.
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by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 7:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jaytee
by Jen on Dec. 6, 2012 at 7:56 PM
2 moms liked this
I have threatened but never actually followed through. They've always improved on their behavior. If I was in your situation I think I'd do the same thing. Stealing is absolutely unacceptable! *hugs* to you. I hope things get better for you.
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LilyBeansMom
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 10:08 PM
My first thought was that I would never do that. Then I read what you've got going on and I'm not sure I can say "never" anymore. You have a tough situation and I hope I never have to find out how I would handle that! I'm not sure cutting Christmas presents should be the extent of the punishment though. I assume there has been some serious conversations involved at least. Good luck.
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ambercates
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 10:13 PM
No, I haven't, but I'll threaten Santa with mine!
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TroyboysMom
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:06 PM

I don't take away holidays/birthdays. I think that's wrong. I also don't use Santa as a punishment/behavioral control. My child needs to listen to me and behave because it's the right thing to do, not because an obese man in red won't give him stuff if he doesn't. I don't play up that part of Santa. 

Reading what you're going through, though, I understand why you're going that way. Is counseling an option for her? 

diaperstodating
by Queen24Princes on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:08 PM

No I have not.

bellawomen
by Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:11 PM
Responding with anger to hurt her feelings won't improve her behavior.
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chinosruca
by Gold Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:21 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm not trying to hurt her feelings. Giving consequences to actions might improve her behavior. But, in reality, any child who gets punished probably gets their feelings hurt....whether that is the intention or not. She will get
SOME stuff (grandparents, oldest sister, aunties) ....just not stuff from us or "santa".


Quoting bellawomen:

Responding with anger to hurt her feelings won't improve her behavior.
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kblpooh
by Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:18 AM
I wouldn't take it away. I would make the consequence be something more like a restitution like having to work to pay back the money. If she had the money still, I would still make her work for the money and then have her use the money to buy gift for charity etc.
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chinosruca
by Gold Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:34 AM
1 mom liked this
It is gone already. I will not waiver on my punishments. She WILL be working it off along with losing a big part of Christmas. This isn't JUST about her stealing. Her behavior in the last few months has been getting so out of control. Bad enough that I wanted her removed from our home. This is just the last straw. She has seen a therapist and the school counselor this past year. It got better for a while, but now she thinks she is smarter than us and can manipulate and lie her way out of things.

Quoting kblpooh:

I wouldn't take it away. I would make the consequence be something more like a restitution like having to work to pay back the money. If she had the money still, I would still make her work for the money and then have her use the money to buy gift for charity etc.
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bellawomen
by Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 1:24 AM

Taking away her Christmas isn't going to improve her behavior since its ONE day out of the whole year.  She won't put 2 and 2 together that she doesn't get gifts from you and "santa" because of bad behavior.  If he behavior is so bad that you have lost so much control that you are resorting to ruining a family tradition or holiday over, I am willing to bet you aren't doing anything on a daily basis for discipline that is affective (I am not meaning for that to sound harsh as it is, sorry.).  What are you going to do if her behavior does not improve after Christmas?

What other types of discipline have you tried and why has it not worked?  My son will be 9 in 3 days, so I get the the age (like all ages) are rough sometimes.

Quoting chinosruca:

I'm not trying to hurt her feelings. Giving consequences to actions might improve her behavior. But, in reality, any child who gets punished probably gets their feelings hurt....whether that is the intention or not. She will get
SOME stuff (grandparents, oldest sister, aunties) ....just not stuff from us or "santa".


Quoting bellawomen:

Responding with anger to hurt her feelings won't improve her behavior.


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