Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Why do they hate each other?!?

Posted by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:10 PM
  • 6 Replies
I'm hoping someone on here can give me some insight on why my 6 year old son and 3 year old nephew HATE each other!!!
Back story- I have watched my nephew mon-fri since he was 6 weeks old. For the past 3 years it was my nephew and his sister who is 3 months younger then my son. Since my nephew has been old enough to touch my sons toys my son has hated him. I have a 4 month old daughter so for a long time my son was an only child. They just butt head constantly. My nephew is the youngest of four and the only boy and only child my sister and her husband share. My nephew isn't at my house for more then 10 minutes before my son is being mean to him. He isn't mean to any other kid or even his sister but he is cruel to my nephew. Today we were at the grocery store and as I was opening the freezer my son bumps my nephew and I end up hitting my nephew with the freezer door. My nephew is just as mean to my son but more of doing things to make my son mad so he gets in trouble. I've never heard my son say things like "I hate" before
I don't know what to do!! I've punished, I've asked what the problem is!!! I can't figure it out!!! I know now its worse because I had my daughter in July and my son started kindergarten in sept. so not only do I share my attention but he's away from me all day and he's jealous that I "spend all my time" with the baby and jordan(my nephew) but we drive my nephew home right after my son gets off the bus.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:10 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:24 PM
2 moms liked this
You need to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with him and clearly lay out your expectations. He is acting like a spoiled brat and that's unacceptable! We treat nieces and nephews as siblings. Take him to dinner (just the two of you) and let him know that although he is your son and you love him, you do NOT like the way that he treats his cousin. Make it clear that his cousin is not going away and he needs to stop acting like a two year old.
Amanda52007
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:25 PM
I agree.

Maybe start punishing him when he's being unreasonably mean to his cousin.


Quoting mjande4:

You need to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with him and clearly lay out your expectations. He is acting like a spoiled brat and that's unacceptable! We treat nieces and nephews as siblings. Take him to dinner (just the two of you) and let him know that although he is your son and you love him, you do NOT like the way that he treats his cousin. Make it clear that his cousin is not going away and he needs to stop acting like a two year old.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Lindsayhoy0612
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:46 PM
When he gets punished for it he gets even more mad and blames my nephew for him getting in trouble.... Tonight his iPod is taken away for a week
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
JasonsMom2007
by Silver Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:15 AM

In my experience anytime I watch children for an extended period of time they all fight like siblings.  I was watching 2 kids for a while so I had (including my own) 2 4 year olds (boy/girl) and 2 2 year olds (girls).  Boy did they all fight like they were siblings!  I would take them somewhere and someone would go "you can tell they are brother and sisters."  Yeah except they aren't!

I just treated them all like my own children.  It seemed to aleviate matters.  Then the two I was watching moved 8 hours away and it has been so peaceful ever since :)

coolmommy2x
by Gold Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 8:18 AM
I agree. He needs an attitude adjustment. Maybe a reward chart would help.

Quoting mjande4:

You need to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with him and clearly lay out your expectations. He is acting like a spoiled brat and that's unacceptable! We treat nieces and nephews as siblings. Take him to dinner (just the two of you) and let him know that although he is your son and you love him, you do NOT like the way that he treats his cousin. Make it clear that his cousin is not going away and he needs to stop acting like a two year old.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LilyBeansMom
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 8:32 AM
I don't remember enough of the advice in the book clearly enough to share it, but I can recommend the book: Parenting with Love and Logic. There is a lot of help in there for teaching kids to take responsibility for their own actions and letting them deal with natural consequences for their choices. I know they specifically talk about how to word things to turn the reponsibility back where it belongs and I found that really helpful!

Quoting Lindsayhoy0612:

When he gets punished for it he gets even more mad and blames my nephew for him getting in trouble.... Tonight his iPod is taken away for a week
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN