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Share Your Solutions: How to build your child's self-confidence

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:53 PM
  • 11 Replies

We all think our kids hung the moon, but some children have a hard time believing the best about themselves.

Do you have any tips for building your child's self-confidence?

by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Pumpkinbean
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Idk what I did right, but my dd has enough self confidence for ten girls her age :)
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jen2150
by Bronze Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 5:12 PM

My sons and I take karate together.  It is the best confidence booster ever.  We just got our brown belts a couple of days ago.

janitablue
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 5:20 PM

 I tell my son how wonderful he is , give him hugs and lots of love. 


ruby_jewel_04
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 5:49 PM
I could use some tips for my DD. We just stopped letting her dad have visitation because there was mental and physical abuse happening at his home. So she's pretty down right now because of him.
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GwenMB
by Gwen on Dec. 21, 2012 at 9:36 PM


Quoting ruby_jewel_04:

I could use some tips for my DD. We just stopped letting her dad have visitation because there was mental and physical abuse happening at his home. So she's pretty down right now because of him.

Is she seeing a counselor?  In her situation, that may be the best route.

Karen_S
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 9:53 PM
1 mom liked this

I praise effort.  So instead of saying "you did really well on that test - you are so smart" I say "you did really well on the test - you must have studied really hard" or instead of "your team won the soccer game, you are so good at soccer" I say "your team won the soccer game...all that practice and hard work really paid off!" That way, accomplishment is tied in her mind to working for it, not just "being smart" or "being talented" because you were born that way.  It gives her pride in her accomplishments, knowing that she earned them. 

Also, what you do is as important as what you say. If they want to do something for themselves, like fold their own laundry or cook dinner (as long it is safe thing for their age) , grit your teeth and let them go for it even if the folding is all whacky or the dinner is funny looking. They will be super proud that they did it themselves, and if you try to "fix" their work, they will lose that pride.  

And behave like they are competent and can do things for themselves and they will believe it too.  So if they tell you that there is a kid at school being mean to them, instead of jumping right in and telling them what to do, I try to say things like "wow, that must have made you feel bad. What are you going to do?"  Sure, my DD sometimes needs advice (and I'll give it when it's clear she needs it), but more often than not she'll think about it, and come up with a plan that's pretty good, all on her own.  

Just some thoughts that work for me...

Jessiejack
by Bronze Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 10:57 PM

Sounds dumb but every day since my DD was little I brush her hair and style it. After I am done I kiss her on the cheek and tell her she is so beautiful inside and out. She is now in high school and still it puts a smile on her face every morning. Yes, I still do her hair. It's great bonding time and helps keep open communication. For my son we have our time before bed when we cuddle and talk about life. 

Roo1234
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 11:04 PM
Allow them to conquer failures earlier rather than later.
When they are frustrated give them the tools to solve the problem and let them try to solve it before rushing in and fixing it.
soymujer
by Mikki on Dec. 22, 2012 at 12:07 AM

Praise them when needed

family in the van   Mom of four


MommeisQueen
by on Dec. 22, 2012 at 12:11 AM

At home my daughter has all the confidence in the world but at school she is shy and not very sure of herself...? 

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