I have a joint custody arrsngement with my ex husband. He gets our three kids every other weekend and holiday. My problem is my oldest daughter (who is adopted by my ex) has been coming home saying her dad is slapping her in the face and "choking her from behind" which she explained to me as him grabbing the back of her neck and squeezing. I have called a few different places to see what can be done about it and everyone tells me that without physical injury they cant help. I am court ordered to make her go but as her mom and knowing this is happening to her Im having a hard time telling her she has to go. The divorce was really ugly and the custody even uglier and I don't want the kids to have to go through that again, not to mention the finacial aspects. I have tried talking to him and even had her try telling him how she felt and he just hangs up the phone and refuses to talk about it. He tells her that I shouldn't be telling her to say these things, she tries to explain to him im not and he refuses to listen. I am at a loss! How do I make her go knowing the things and if I dont make her do I allow my youngest to go? Does anyone know what would happen if I just refused to take them?