Friends kids destroyed my house!

[Bleacher-mom]

How strict should I be when it comes to other kids playing with my kids toys and messing up their rooms? With one of my friends I used to babysit her kids, so they pretty much know what I expect when they come over to play, although they are more like family so I usually make them clean up their own messes after they have stayed the night. But I have some other friends that come over with their kids so our kids can play together. While they're here, I try to have a good hostess attitude so I just let them play and have fun while the other mom and I chitchat. But after they leave I get upset at how much of a mess they made. It will usually take me all of the next day to clean up my kids rooms. I know my kids are also partly to blame, but I know that at least 75% of the toys that get pulled out are from the other kids. So what should I do? Should I just expect to clean up after them when they leave or be stricter when they're here? Is that the way it should be, that when other kids come what ever mess they make is now our responsibility? When I take my kids to other friends house I usually make them clean up what ever mess they made. Is there some unwritten rule that I don't know about? Sorry this is so long, but I'm just unsure how to handle this.

[bellaamore]

Go in before it is time to leave and tell the kids " lets all clean up our mess now and then we will get a snack", thats usually what i do. Lol

[punkin83]

I feel for you. But it takes you a whole day to put the stuff/toys back? When my daughters messy friends come over I tell them they need to mind our rules and not be overly messy. DD and I eventually put stuff back where it goes but that takes like 1o minutes. I chalk it up to being a mother of an 11 yr old that welcomes her friends over. If it's dirty dishes and serious messes, heck no-someone needed to put their foot down regarding respect.

[calsmom62]

Absolutely. My only hesitation comes if it was a first Playdate and the other mom doesn't seem to think her little Ferdinand should help cleaN up because they are "company", or, "isn't that cute, he always throws blocks at home too."...

You can sense these things, and its also going to be our last playdate with the little darling.

Quoting frndlyfn:

I enforce that everyone helps clean up before they go.  I always have dd help clean up when she goes to friends houses as well.

[jcampbell288]

I make the other children help... but if there isnt time (like a sleepover) or its not practical I will usually split the work

our usual deal is I make her bed because its a trundle so the lower bed has to be delt with and I will clean up the back room where art supplies are kept. she does the rest

[LucyHarper]

I encourage them to clean up as much of the mess as possible while they are there, and if they leave before it's done, my kids are responsible for their friends messes.

[mommyof11050307]

Make everyone clean up the toys.

[specialwingz]

So, you teach your kids it's okay to make messes at other kids' houses that they don't have to clean up???

Quoting Paperfishies:

Don't know what to tell you. In my house, guests are not expected to clean up. If my children have friends over, my children are very well aware that any mess made is 100% on them to clean up.

[ohmandy]

never thought about it till ds's bday.  his room got quite messy from the other kids... we didnt have the foresight to stop and have them clean up... it was also kind of a extenuating circumstance.  i would make ds help if we were somewhere, and id very nicely ask for help if he had friends over, if the parents were not supportive, well, it would prob mean less playdates in our house haha

[Paperfishies]

In my circle of friends we all feel the same way. If I have a dinner party I don't announce to my guests, "ok, time to help me do dishes, and sweep floors!"

Quoting specialwingz:

So, you teach your kids it's okay to make messes at other kids' houses that they don't have to clean up???

Quoting Paperfishies:

Don't know what to tell you. In my house, guests are not expected to clean up. If my children have friends over, my children are very well aware that any mess made is 100% on them to clean up.

[MegG25]

Ugh this happened to me the other day too.  I was upset because my friend saw her daughter do it and just said okay see ya later, thanks for having her over.. ?!  What the heck, when we are at their house I ALWAYS make my kids help clean up the mess.  I was so upset I started crying trying to clean it up that night.  I don't feel comfortable saying anything, so for me I'm going to try to lead by example.  Next time I pick up my dd at her house I will make a point to say out loud okay let's help clean up before we go.  Maybe they'll follow suit..?