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Torn between career and staying home!

I am a registered nurse (focusing on cancer patients) woking full time (plus).  I really enjoy what I do, but as my children are getting a little older and are both in school now (K and 1st grade), I feel like I don't have enough hours in the day (or night).  This past summer (and since) I have cried myself to sleep several nights because my heart actually aches to be home! Does that sound crazy??? I feel so very stressed because my house has NEVER been in the disarray (sp?) that it is now!!!  There is no way that I can possibly get caught up as our nights are short enough the way it is.  My husband is NOT the domestic type at all!!!  I desperately want to be a good wife and mother to our 2 little blessings!  Each day I feel more and more that I want and need to be home in order to take care of things.  I don't want to disappoint anyone at work; but my family means more to me than my work!  Am I being unreasonable???  Any thoughts???  Thank you, from a torn and hurting mom.

by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 11:24 PM
Replies (21-27):
by Max on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:58 AM

I've never felt quite like that as a working mom. 

You need to follow your heart. If you feel that strongly about it you should see what you can do to me home more. 

by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 12:07 PM

 If you can afford to quit, then talk to your husband and look into it.  I left a high paying job ($18/hr) 7 years ago to be at home.  While its been tight at times, I wouldn't change it for anything.  We've had to make sacrifices, but that's okay.  We drive one vehicle, we dont have cable or a landline.  My cell and internet are pre-paid.  We rarely go out. But it works and that's what it takes for me to be home.  I volunteer a lot to give me "me" time, to be involved with my kids and to keep my resume full.  Good luck!

by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 1:29 PM

Thank you.  I am a little nervous about what he will say, but I am going to talk to him about it today as we are traveling. 

by Gold Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 1:52 PM
As far as the balancing, I think you will discover that you will still feel like you can not get it all done! Start involving kids, give jobs. Putting things where they go when you come in. Figure out problem areas are and make a plan. :)

As far as the desire, I think you have to discuss and decide if or what is a possibility and then look for something that you can do that in..
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by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 1:59 PM
1 mom liked this
Its a huge adjustment to go from working to being home too. I have such a strong desire to work that i have not been fufilled being home. Now that my kids r going to school i just cant stay home. Id go crazy. I want to work part time right now but i am very picky about what id put up with and hours im willin to work to offset the cost of a sitter. Im just tired of making sacrifices and doing without alot. We drive an old car we need to do maitnence on the house and little things that just keep piling up because we dont have the extra funds. I wouldnt throw away your career and schooling. Id def look for a part time option at the very least.
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by Bella on Jan. 5, 2013 at 10:59 PM

 Follow your heart

by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:51 AM
1 mom liked this

I've worked from home for 2 years now.  My sons are now 6 and 2.  I've been lucky I was able to stay home, BUT... it's not for me.  I'm miserable.  I like having a career.  (I'm doing in-home daycare and the money is crap.  It should be good, but it doesn't work out that way) I miss being paid for a job well done.  My sons and dh treat me like I'm their servant.  Being a wife and mother is HARD and no one says 'thank you' or 'good job!'  I have a job interview tomorrow and I am praying HARD I get it because it's for a well-known company that pays well and has awesome benefits.  I'd be making more than I do now so I would be able to pay for fun stuff for the kids and save more for their college.  Right now, our budget is so tight, we don't have a lot of money for fun stuff like going to the zoo, or even gas for driving to another town to visit a free museum.  It sucks.  I love my family, but feel claustrophobic.

I grew up in a home where both my parents had careers, so I guess it's what I am used to.  I'm glad I got to be there for my son when he went to Kinder and my younger son's infant stages.  It's time for me to get my life back.  I'll be a more effective and happy parent working outside the home.

And that's just ME.  If you're miserable at your job, find a way to stay home.  Maybe go part time?  You'll find a balance. 

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