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Okay... My son is almost 9 years old. He used to eat anything and everything we put in front of him, but all of a sudden, he is telling us he doesn't like things that he loved just last week!  I personally feel like he is saying he doesn't like things, just because he doesn't want it at that moment. For example... I make a sausage, egg, and potato scramble for breakfast from time to time... I made it about 2 weeks ago, and just this morning... 2 weeks ago, he said he didn't like it anymore, but this morning, he gobbled up two servings of it! I just don't get it. If we tell him eat it or starve, he chooses to starve. Basically, what it comes down to is that he would rather eat junk, or he wants me to be a short order cook... How do I get him to eat what I make? I don't make anything he DOESN'T like.. 

I think his grandparents ruined him... Long story short, he is technically my step son, but his mom hasn't been in the picture since he was 10 months old. I didn't come into the picture until he was 6. Before that, my in laws helped dh out a lot with DS. He stayed over at their house quite a bit. To this day, when he stays over there, they let him have whatever he wants, whenever he wants it. If he wants mcdonalds for breakfast, lunch, and dinner... that's what they do. If he wants nothing but goldfish and icecream all day, they let him. He doesn't go over there NEARLY as much, now that I am here, but he is becoming TOO picky. He gets sick a lot, because he doesn't get the right amount of vitamins he needs, since he refuses to eat... I thought this was TODDLER behavior... not 9 year old behavior... He does take daily vitamins to help with that, but it's not helping much.

Please no bashing... I really don't know what to do here..

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 12:20 AM
Replies (11-14):
by Gold Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 3:19 AM
I do not think it is their fault. We have a similar situation but our son knows here certain things happen...
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by Platinum Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:21 AM
If he does like the food (as in your egg scramble example), he's not a picky eater, he's trying to manipulate you. There is a big difference. If he's choosing the starve option, I would let him starve. For one, he will not starve to death. Two, if he does get hungry, that's a natural consequence of making a bad choice and hopefully he will learn from it. Third, he has know you won't be manipulated. Stay firm.
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by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:41 AM

Unfortunately, as annoying as it is, it's a grandparent thing. My way of thinking is I need to tweak how I deal with it because they certainly aren't going to change. I know, my mil has pulled the same thing before. I gave her several options of things she could fix for dinner one night when she was watching DD1. All were things that were fairly easy to make, all were things that DD1 liked. I come home from DH's company Christmas dinner later that night to find out she fed her pudding and ice cream for dinner because "she didn't want her to cry." So basically, "I don't wanna fight with her over dinner, she gets whatever she wants." So, we made it clear to DD that whatever Nonnie does for food when she watches her, it's a special treat because Nonnie doesn't watch her all the time. And she is absolutely not going to get the same preferential treatment normally. We don't have an eat it or starve rule, but she does have to eat at least so many bites of everything whether she "likes" it that day or not. I tell her "you never know, taste buds change. What you don't like today, you may try next week and decide it's really good." After she's eaten her obligatory bites, if she's still hungry, she may go grab herself something else. Something easy for her to make or grab, because she knows I won't get up and do it for her. Honestly kids (even at your DS's age) do things like this because it's one of the few aspects in their lives that they do have control over. I think reminding myself of that makes it less maddening sometimes when DD is telling me she doesn't like something that I know she does.  

Quoting bmack2107:

And about getting them on board... We have tried dozens of times... They do not know how to say no to him. They are hopeless.

Quoting frndlyfn:

Yeah sounds like you have to get them on board for him eating healthier there as well.  I count my blessings that even though dd is picky , she isnt into sweet stuff and she loves fresh apples and melon.

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:31 AM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like the grandparents are not helping. My son can get the same way. My mom gives in on everything and my son thinks by crying I will to. Well as he has learned it doesn't work on me.

We have one simple rule. This is our house, this is not grandmas house. I make one meal if you don't like it then don't eat it. I will not be making you something different though. I do have a few exceptions where they can have cereal instead but not many.  If one of the boys starts crying over food its straight to their rooms with nothing. No coming out until they have stopped. I have a no tolerance policy on manipulation tears.

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