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the "talk"

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:43 AM
  • 15 Replies



Question: When is the right time?


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Total Votes: 26

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At what age should DH and I have "the talk" with DS? I like thinking that I have time since the idea of my babies growing up pains me. I know that my oldest is only 5 but with some kids getting pregnant in middle school, I want him to be prepared when the time comes. I know that if we have an age in mind to start talking, that gives us time to mentally prepare for it. I'd hate to wait until it's to late.

I've been talking to him about his body parts with the real names, plus when I was 9 months along with #2 I always watched those baby stories since I wanted him to see that the coming baby wouldn't be able to play with him right away. When baby sister came along we had to introduce the word "vagina" into his vocabulary. I've always been honest about the questions he's asked and have been teaching him about inappropriate touching. He hasn't asked about where babies come from since he has seen me pregnant twice and got to feel the baby kicking and kinda knows how babies are born.  He hasn't asked how babies get into mama's belly yet and we haven't started talking about "sex" yet. At what age should that part be introduced into the conversations?

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:43 AM
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by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:48 AM

I honestly don't think there is a right time. I have been talking to my son about sex, drugs, etc since he was able to talk and walk, in age appropriate terms. I want an open and honest relationship with him and he is 12 now. He knows he can talk to me about anything.

by Emerald Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:00 AM

I didn't vote, because I started talking to my kids about their body from the time that they were toddlers and could understand me.

There is no right time to have "the talk" and IMO, there shouldn't be just one "talk" that you have with your kids.  Their development is an on going process, so you should have on going conversations about their development all along the way.  Things like drugs, sex, inappropriate touching, etc should be talked about from the time that they can talk all the way through HS and even beyond.

If you haven't already covered the subject of inappropriate touching, I would suggest that you start there ASAP.  Any child who is in school should already be aware of good touch/bad touch and know exactly what to do if someone tries to touch them inappropriately.

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:03 AM

I say you start talking as soon as they start asking where babies come from (3?), and just keep on talking and listening right through their teen years. 

by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:28 AM

I have answered my kids questions honestly and as simply as I can from the first time they ask.  They are still young, but know that babies grow in mommy's tummy, and I have a special hole down there called a vagina so I can push the baby out when it is big enough.  They also know that boys have a penis... no weird nicknames for it at our house. 

You can find some kid friendly books to help with "the talk" if it makes it easier for you too.  Check out "Amazing You! :Getting Smart About Your Private Parts  by: Gail Saltz  (you may find it at your local library) 

I also want my kids to know they can ask me anything, but that private parts are still private...  Here are some good books for teaching this...

"I said NO! : A Kid-to-Kid guide to keeping your private parts private" By: Kimberly King

"NO Trespassing- This is MY Body!" By: Pattie Fitzgerald 

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:58 AM
2 moms liked this

It should start in prsechool years.  But obviously you don't talk about "sex" at that age.  But its a talk that starts when they are small, you teach them about private areas and encourage them to tell you if someone is harming them and how to protect thesmelves.

The conversation expands from there as they get older.

I think they start talking about "sex" related things in 5th grade.  Mainly about the differences between girls and boys, and that girls get periods...and how babies are made.  They don't go into "details" about teh "Bedroom activitiy" at that age though.

by Bella on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:01 AM

 The talk started about a year ago when my daughter read something. I've done age appropriate questions and I plan on holding off on the actual act of sex until a little bit older. She is 6 now.

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:26 AM

With my oldest son, when I didn't know any better, we had it at about 11. However, next two are girls and I figured out with the oldest girl better get to it pretty quick. So we had it a few weeks ago with my next youngest girl, who's fixing to be 9. Girls can start their periods as young as 9 and I do NOT want her to be surprised. I was a late bloomer and I was wasn't a happy one.

So I imagine we'll have it with the boys around 9 as well. However, we've had them calling their body parts by their proper names since they learned to talk. 

by Ruby Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 7:31 AM

 W/ kids hitting puberty at younger ages these days, the earlier you start w/ small talks here and there, the better. Ds1 started getting basics at 7 when he had to start wearing deodorant; ds2 has learned watching his older brother grow up (one advantage of their 5 yr age difference), and I had to give dd a very basic period talk when she was 4 and asked why my pee was red (Gotta love no privacy in the bathroom!).
















by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 7:45 AM

 Honesty kids are learning early ....if you dont teach them there gonna learn from other children

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 8:39 AM

I think that is all depends on the child and their maturity level. I don't think there is a perfect age tht we should aim for. I have not had to face this issue yet either. My mom never had "the talk" with me. When I started my periods she gave me pads and said it is part of growing up and every girl goes through it. I plan on being a little more hands on with my daughter. I want her to know that she can come to me with any questions and I want her to know that this is the way she was made and... well I have time she is only 7 but I know the time is fast approuching : (. I also plan on finding some helpful books for her and using the bible too. With my son and my daughter. We are going to teach them to not have sex, be modest, and keep "those" thoughts and feelings for their future spouse. I am not dumb though I know kids think about it and do it. That is why I want them to be able to come to me with anything and I will teach them to be prepared adn "safe" too. 

I chose 10-12 years old. This is the age that most girls start periods. I know that girl develope faster than boys usually. I think that boys "explore" thier bodys more than girls do too though. Plus with the add infuence of media and kids at school.... 

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