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I feel like all I do is yell!

Posted by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 9:08 AM
  • 8 Replies

My daughter is 6, will be 7 in march and I feel like all we do is yell and get on to her.  I feel like all I say is stop doing that, how many times do I have to tell you to stop doing that, clean your room (30 min later, why is your room not clean?), etc.  In the monings it's a struggle to get her up and then she whines all morning long.  I have to constantly tell her to eat breakfast and get dressed.  We have taken tv away in the mornings, but it still doesn't help!  She will sit and play with her brother (who is 6 months old).  And the whining drives me nuts!!!  I tell her constantly that when she can talk like a 6 year old I will answer her.  Ugh!  Do any of you ladies have any suggestions on making the mornings easier?  We try to have her in bed by 8:30, but we don't always make it.  It's hard to get in bed by that time  b/c we are so busy from the moment we get home from work until bedtime. 

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 9:08 AM
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Replies (1-8):
steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 9:41 AM

Do you have a consistant morning routine?  Make up a chart with the rountine listed on it, put your dd in charge of checking off the items when she completes them.  This way she has a visual reminder of what she needs to do, instead of you constantly reminding her.  I also recommend that the tv does not get turned on until she is completely ready to walk out the door, it only serves as a distraction.  I remind my boys once to do something and if they don't get it done, they suffer the natural consequences.  Teeth not brushed, no problem, you go to school with bad breath.  You didn't get dressed, no problem, you go to school in your pajamas.

As far as the whining goes, completely ignore it.  My boys haven't whined since they were toddlers, and I think it is because I'd tell them once that I'd listen to them when they talked like a big boy.  Then I'd walk away and completely ignore them (no comments what so ever) until they talked without whining.

aetrom
by Gold Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 4:05 PM
We had the same problem. Might not work for you but we: 1) woke him up 20 minutes sooner to let him woke up slowly which he needed (we explained that i was tired of Being angry!) 2) Told him clearly the car leaves at this time And whatever you are wearing is how you are going to school. 3) we clearly put the responsibility on him And made an instantaneous change. Breakfast is ready, clothes are ready, etc.

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ddhb2007
by Bronze Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 4:16 PM

We had this problem with our daughter.  We made it her "job" to get ready in the morning.  She is responsible for going to the bathroom, getting dressed, and brushing her teeth.  If she does her "job", we "paid" her in TV time.  If she didn't do her job, too bad, no TV today.  It took a couple of months, and then she didn't need the "payment" for doing what we needed to do. 

Of course, now she's having problems with going to bed, so we implemented the same process once again.

saltlifemama
by Bronze Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 5:55 PM

We just started an accountability chart for ds1, he is 8. He must complete everything on his chart daily. The chart includes getting ready on time, cleaning his room, homework and many other things. He knows and sees daily what he needs to do and its up to him. If he completes his charts every day he gets to pick an activity to do over the weekend. It not then he will miss out on something he really wanted to do.

bellaamore
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 5:57 PM

Send her to school as is.

This worked for us. Eventually, henoticed his wasting time and whining was getting him made fun of for having bad breath and losing recess for not being dressed correctly. Also, he felt terrible because he was hungry.

Im a fan of natural consequences.

michelledavis
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 12:45 AM
I don't think sending a 6 or 7 yo to school in his/her jammies will do it. Mine could care less. It's easier for them to just hop out of bed and walk out the door in what they're wearing. You let them choose then you have to live with it. If you want her to act her age she needs to be treated that way. My son is 7 will be 8 the end of Jan. I do not have a repeat button. If I ask you to do something it is going to be, son can you plz go pick up your toys you left in the floor. When he is done, thank you for doing such a great job & the first time I asked too. Or it could go, son please pick up your....... 10 min later, SON I asked you 10 min ago to...... You didn't listen its time for bed or whatever punishment you choose. Eventually they understand, mom asks nice the first time and I get to stay up watching tv or playing my game. As an adult I know I dont like to have demands yelled at me. It makes me NOT want to do it even more. You already feel like your in trouble so why do it. Hope this helps some :)
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aetrom
by Gold Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 2:54 AM
I am surprised your kids would care less. Even My near 4 year old was horrified at the idea!


Quoting michelledavis:

I don't think sending a 6 or 7 yo to school in his/her jammies will do it. Mine could care less. It's easier for them to just hop out of bed and walk out the door in what they're wearing. You let them choose then you have to live with it. If you want her to act her age she needs to be treated that way. My son is 7 will be 8 the end of Jan. I do not have a repeat button. If I ask you to do something it is going to be, son can you plz go pick up your toys you left in the floor. When he is done, thank you for doing such a great job & the first time I asked too. Or it could go, son please pick up your....... 10 min later, SON I asked you 10 min ago to...... You didn't listen its time for bed or whatever punishment you choose. Eventually they understand, mom asks nice the first time and I get to stay up watching tv or playing my game. As an adult I know I dont like to have demands yelled at me. It makes me NOT want to do it even more. You already feel like your in trouble so why do it. Hope this helps some :)

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RLSMOM59
by Bronze Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 6:37 AM

Stop yelling - speak very low so she will have to come very close to hear you. Pretty soon she will get tired of having to do that.

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