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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

teachers complaints about parents

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my intention for this question is because I absolutely love my dd teacher and want to make sure im not doing anything unknowingly irritating to her kwim but here is the question:

Other than the obvious stuff like parents who think their kid can do no wrong (this would not be me cause I know who my kid is lol) and the parents that are completely uninvolved in their childs education, what are things that parents do that are irritating to teachers?

by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 12:30 PM
Replies (31-40):
maxswolfsuit
by Max on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:38 AM


I would definitely mention any gift I got from a parent the next time I saw her no matter how I felt about it. I go out of my way to make sure each child thinks I love what they got. 

I don't consider that lying. I consider it courtesy. 

Quoting mom2jessnky:

I'm not defending the mug, I'm saying I'd be alarmed if someone went out of their way to over the top lie about something like that. If you lie about dumb small things, what else are you lying about? KWIM?

Get gift you hate, say thank you. Okay, I can take that however I want, and it's not lying, I'm sure teachers are grateful for any gift because it says "Hey I recognize you have my punk kid for 7+hours a day and I appreciate that you haven't killed him/her"

But to stop the mom, and personally talk about the gift, when you really hate it? Wouldn't that strike you as SUPER odd? Also if you do that, won't that TOTALLY back fire on you? OH she freaking LOVES ugly green sweaters, I'm getting her an ugly green sweater at every opportunity.

I've casually mentioned liking something to my MIL and she takes that to mean I'm obsessed with it, and need anything even slightly pertaining to it. So I KNOW that doing that accidentally can backfire. I'd be REALLY careful about the butthole fluffing, if you hate your gift, you might end up with ugly green sweater wallpaper.

Quoting mjande4:

LOL You are killing me with the "mug defense".  I agree with Max, the teacher was probably just being polite.  Of course she's using it at school, because she has 30 more at home and probably 20 more in a cabinet in her room.  Relax.  It was a nice thought, but as others have mentioned it can get out of hand. 


mjande4
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:41 AM

Exactly! It's called being polite and gracious, even if it's the 20th one in two years.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:


I would definitely mention any gift I got from a parent the next time I saw her no matter how I felt about it. I go out of my way to make sure each thinks I love what they got. 

I don't consider that lying. I consider it courtesy. 

Quoting mom2jessnky:

I'm not defending the mug, I'm saying I'd be alarmed if someone went out of their way to over the top lie about something like that. If you lie about dumb small things, what else are you lying about? KWIM?

Get gift you hate, say thank you. Okay, I can take that however I want, and it's not lying, I'm sure teachers are grateful for any gift because it says "Hey I recognize you have my punk kid for 7+hours a day and I appreciate that you haven't killed him/her"

But to stop the mom, and personally talk about the gift, when you really hate it? Wouldn't that strike you as SUPER odd? Also if you do that, won't that TOTALLY back fire on you? OH she freaking LOVES ugly green sweaters, I'm getting her an ugly green sweater at every opportunity.

I've casually mentioned liking something to my MIL and she takes that to mean I'm obsessed with it, and need anything even slightly pertaining to it. So I KNOW that doing that accidentally can backfire. I'd be REALLY careful about the butthole fluffing, if you hate your gift, you might end up with ugly green sweater wallpaper.

Quoting mjande4:

LOL You are killing me with the "mug defense".  I agree with Max, the teacher was probably just being polite.  Of course she's using it at school, because she has 30 more at home and probably 20 more in a cabinet in her room.  Relax.  It was a nice thought, but as others have mentioned it can get out of hand. 



mom2jessnky
by Silver Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:45 AM

You call it courtesy, I call it lying. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

Courtesy to me is just saying Thank You. If you go over the top over the mug you hate, that's probably why you're getting so many.

It was only part of the gift, they also got custom pens (which they probably hate too) candy, and gift cards to Staples.

Quoting mjande4:

Exactly! It's called being polite and gracious, even if it's the 20th one in two years.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:


I would definitely mention any gift I got from a parent the next time I saw her no matter how I felt about it. I go out of my way to make sure each thinks I love what they got. 

I don't consider that lying. I consider it courtesy. 

Quoting mom2jessnky:

I'm not defending the mug, I'm saying I'd be alarmed if someone went out of their way to over the top lie about something like that. If you lie about dumb small things, what else are you lying about? KWIM?

Get gift you hate, say thank you. Okay, I can take that however I want, and it's not lying, I'm sure teachers are grateful for any gift because it says "Hey I recognize you have my punk kid for 7+hours a day and I appreciate that you haven't killed him/her"

But to stop the mom, and personally talk about the gift, when you really hate it? Wouldn't that strike you as SUPER odd? Also if you do that, won't that TOTALLY back fire on you? OH she freaking LOVES ugly green sweaters, I'm getting her an ugly green sweater at every opportunity.

I've casually mentioned liking something to my MIL and she takes that to mean I'm obsessed with it, and need anything even slightly pertaining to it. So I KNOW that doing that accidentally can backfire. I'd be REALLY careful about the butthole fluffing, if you hate your gift, you might end up with ugly green sweater wallpaper.

Quoting mjande4:

LOL You are killing me with the "mug defense".  I agree with Max, the teacher was probably just being polite.  Of course she's using it at school, because she has 30 more at home and probably 20 more in a cabinet in her room.  Relax.  It was a nice thought, but as others have mentioned it can get out of hand. 




mjande4
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:56 AM

No, it's because it's a cheap gift that is easy to pick up and doesn't require a lot of effort.  I understand it, but after a few years times many students it becomes comical.

Quoting mom2jessnky:

You call it courtesy, I call it lying. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

Courtesy to me is just saying Thank You. If you go over the top over the mug you hate, that's probably why you're getting so many.

It was only part of the gift, they also got custom pens (which they probably hate too) candy, and gift cards to Staples.

Quoting mjande4:

Exactly! It's called being polite and gracious, even if it's the 20th one in two years.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:


I would definitely mention any gift I got from a parent the next time I saw her no matter how I felt about it. I go out of my way to make sure each thinks I love what they got. 

I don't consider that lying. I consider it courtesy. 

Quoting mom2jessnky:

I'm not defending the mug, I'm saying I'd be alarmed if someone went out of their way to over the top lie about something like that. If you lie about dumb small things, what else are you lying about? KWIM?

Get gift you hate, say thank you. Okay, I can take that however I want, and it's not lying, I'm sure teachers are grateful for any gift because it says "Hey I recognize you have my punk kid for 7+hours a day and I appreciate that you haven't killed him/her"

But to stop the mom, and personally talk about the gift, when you really hate it? Wouldn't that strike you as SUPER odd? Also if you do that, won't that TOTALLY back fire on you? OH she freaking LOVES ugly green sweaters, I'm getting her an ugly green sweater at every opportunity.

I've casually mentioned liking something to my MIL and she takes that to mean I'm obsessed with it, and need anything even slightly pertaining to it. So I KNOW that doing that accidentally can backfire. I'd be REALLY careful about the butthole fluffing, if you hate your gift, you might end up with ugly green sweater wallpaper.

Quoting mjande4:

LOL You are killing me with the "mug defense".  I agree with Max, the teacher was probably just being polite.  Of course she's using it at school, because she has 30 more at home and probably 20 more in a cabinet in her room.  Relax.  It was a nice thought, but as others have mentioned it can get out of hand. 





LoveMyKBabies
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:59 AM
I have a question for the teachers in here, if you don't mind OP. My DD is in 1st grade. While I know my DD isn't a perfect angel, she has always been good at school. Her teacher seems to criticize everything about my DD, she also says my DD can't do things that I KNOW she can. Such as rhyming. My mom & I have played rhyming games with DD for years, I know she can rhyme, I even trick her sometimes & she'll try so hard to find a word that rhymes with 'orange'. Last year when DD was in K, I heard the 1st grade teacher actually 'snap' at a student. At the first of this year, I had moms with (now) 2nd graders actually warn me about her. She will actually talk harsh about my DD in front of her, I can tell my DD's feelings are hurt, but DD doesn't say anything. In previous years, DD would go on & on about her teachers & how much she liked them, this year she doesn't. It worries me a little. As far as I can tell, DD hasn't really changed over the last year. Any advice?
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GagaNTattooS
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:14 AM
I try I really so but when I go I will and all I hear are negative things about my kid expect a pissed off mama.. For every negative you give 2 positives. We are a private family I do not share major family events good or bad. I try to do his homework but I do t understand it. And the book you send him doesn't help its like handing a hairdresser a car and saying fix it. I took basic math and accounting all thru school. I try to stay as uninvolved in the class room cause I don't really care for kids . I don't have the time and I have no way to get to the school on my days off. My son is add teachers we are all at our wits ends, we try she trys but no one is on the same page
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mjande4
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:31 AM

I'll address the last two questions.  Discipline problems are a MAJOR issue for teachers.  If your child is disrupting the entire class in ANY way, then it's a problem and if the teacher does not feel like you, the parent, is addressing the situation at home, then there are going to be problems.  As I stated in my original answer, acting like your child is the ONLY one in the class causes tension. 

@LoveMyKBabies, it's very possible and realistic that your child does not act the same way in the classroom as you see her act at home.  In addition, from one year to the next, with different kids in class she may be acting different.  It's also possible that the personalities are not clicking.  You are more than halfway through the year, just encourage your daughter to be on her BEST behavior and explain what this means with specific examples.

@Gaga, DON'T stay uninvolved, that's part of the problem.  You may not particularly care for young kids, but at the moment you have one.  The best way to help him is to get in the classroom and see how and what things are being taught.  It is only going to get HARDER if you don't dig in now.  Your son NEEDS your support.

Good luck to both of you.

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:39 AM
2 moms liked this

I thought of another issue with involved parents for the OP. 

Don't expect your involvement or helping the teacher to earn your child special treatment. 

Some parents seem to think if they supply the class with things or help out the the teacher their child should somehow be treated specially or get privileges other kids don't. We have a huge issue at our school with the children of volunteers being unsupervised after school while their mothers are doing things on campus. And it's not unheard of for parents to think their help should result in better grades for their kids. That's just not how it works. 

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:47 AM

Think of it from the teacher's point of view. 

Susie gives me a basket of supplies with post its and marking pens and a gift card. I am thrilled, it's exactly what I need. So I give her a big hug and thank her and tell how useful it will all be. 

Then Timmy gives me a mug. I own dozens of mugs and don't need another. Should I really just say thanks and make it clear that I liked the other gift better?

Think about how the kids would feel if the teachers responded differently to different gifts. It's the same thing with the parents. If I enthusiastically thank Susie's mom and just say thanks to Timmy's mom how would that make her feel? 

I appreciate all the gifts equally even if I don't appreciate the items in the same way. What's important is that the student and parent thought about getting something. I know most people who get mugs have thought about why they would be useful. They just don't realize how many other people have the same thought. 

I didn't mean to offend you with this. Just trying to explain why it's a running joke with teachers that we always get mugs. 

Quoting mom2jessnky:

You call it courtesy, I call it lying. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

Courtesy to me is just saying Thank You. If you go over the top over the mug you hate, that's probably why you're getting so many.

It was only part of the gift, they also got custom pens (which they probably hate too) candy, and gift cards to Staples.

Quoting mjande4:

Exactly! It's called being polite and gracious, even if it's the 20th one in two years.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:


I would definitely mention any gift I got from a parent the next time I saw her no matter how I felt about it. I go out of my way to make sure each thinks I love what they got. 

I don't consider that lying. I consider it courtesy. 

Quoting mom2jessnky:

I'm not defending the mug, I'm saying I'd be alarmed if someone went out of their way to over the top lie about something like that. If you lie about dumb small things, what else are you lying about? KWIM?

Get gift you hate, say thank you. Okay, I can take that however I want, and it's not lying, I'm sure teachers are grateful for any gift because it says "Hey I recognize you have my punk kid for 7+hours a day and I appreciate that you haven't killed him/her"

But to stop the mom, and personally talk about the gift, when you really hate it? Wouldn't that strike you as SUPER odd? Also if you do that, won't that TOTALLY back fire on you? OH she freaking LOVES ugly green sweaters, I'm getting her an ugly green sweater at every opportunity.

I've casually mentioned liking something to my MIL and she takes that to mean I'm obsessed with it, and need anything even slightly pertaining to it. So I KNOW that doing that accidentally can backfire. I'd be REALLY careful about the butthole fluffing, if you hate your gift, you might end up with ugly green sweater wallpaper.

Quoting mjande4:

LOL You are killing me with the "mug defense".  I agree with Max, the teacher was probably just being polite.  Of course she's using it at school, because she has 30 more at home and probably 20 more in a cabinet in her room.  Relax.  It was a nice thought, but as others have mentioned it can get out of hand. 





mjande4
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:50 AM
2 moms liked this

Now if all of the mugs came with Bailey's in them, then this would be a much different discussion . . LOL

Quoting maxswolfsuit:

Think of it from the teacher's point of view. 

Susie gives me a basket of supplies with post it's and marking pens and a gift card. I am thrilled, it's exactly what I need. So I give her a big hug and thank her and tell how useful it will all be. 

Then Timmy gives me a mug. I own dozens of mugs and don't need another. Should I really just say thanks and make it clear that I liked the other gift better?

Think about how the kids would feel if the teachers responded differently to different gifts. It's the same thing with the parents. If I enthusiastically thank Susie's mom and just say thanks to Timmy's mom how would that make her feel? 

I appreciate all the gifts equally even if I don't appreciate the items in the same way. What's important is that the student and parent thought about getting something. I know most people who get mugs have thought about why they would be useful. They just don't realize how many other people have the same thought. 

I didn't mean to offend you with this. Just trying to explain why it's a running joke with teachers that we always get mugs. 

Quoting mom2jessnky:

You call it courtesy, I call it lying. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

Courtesy to me is just saying Thank You. If you go over the top over the mug you hate, that's probably why you're getting so many.

It was only part of the gift, they also got custom pens (which they probably hate too) candy, and gift cards to Staples.

Quoting mjande4:

Exactly! It's called being polite and gracious, even if it's the 20th one in two years.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:


I would definitely mention any gift I got from a parent the next time I saw her no matter how I felt about it. I go out of my way to make sure each thinks I love what they got. 

I don't consider that lying. I consider it courtesy. 

Quoting mom2jessnky:

I'm not defending the mug, I'm saying I'd be alarmed if someone went out of their way to over the top lie about something like that. If you lie about dumb small things, what else are you lying about? KWIM?

Get gift you hate, say thank you. Okay, I can take that however I want, and it's not lying, I'm sure teachers are grateful for any gift because it says "Hey I recognize you have my punk kid for 7+hours a day and I appreciate that you haven't killed him/her"

But to stop the mom, and personally talk about the gift, when you really hate it? Wouldn't that strike you as SUPER odd? Also if you do that, won't that TOTALLY back fire on you? OH she freaking LOVES ugly green sweaters, I'm getting her an ugly green sweater at every opportunity.

I've casually mentioned liking something to my MIL and she takes that to mean I'm obsessed with it, and need anything even slightly pertaining to it. So I KNOW that doing that accidentally can backfire. I'd be REALLY careful about the butthole fluffing, if you hate your gift, you might end up with ugly green sweater wallpaper.

Quoting mjande4:

LOL You are killing me with the "mug defense".  I agree with Max, the teacher was probably just being polite.  Of course she's using it at school, because she has 30 more at home and probably 20 more in a cabinet in her room.  Relax.  It was a nice thought, but as others have mentioned it can get out of hand. 






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