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Having your child switch teachers....

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We are currently having some issues with my DDs teacher. They were all minor until last week when DH went to dismiss DD early and her teacher didn't know her by name. This was the last piece, we decided to request for her to be moved. This poor kid has had crappy teachers for 3 out of her 5 school years. Last year we wanted to move her but met with the principal and decided against it since the year was more than two thirds over. This year we are one third through and we want her moved now so that we don't have a repeat of last year.

We emailed the principal, and she wants to meet with us which is reasonable. She wants to know what we have done to try to resolve these issues with the teacher, we haven't done anything except had one PT conference which everyone has. We thought those minor things would work themselves out and it would be ok. Our biggest concern is that the teacher didn't know DD. After 75 days of school you should know your students. I am a para and I know all of my students by name, I have twice as many yet am only technically responsible for two of them but I still know who the secretary is asking for when she asks for one of the students in my classes.

I also work in the district and am very involved in the PTA. I will be spending too much time with the principal over the next couple of months as I plan the annual father daughter ball. While I would like to keep things all calm and ignore the situation, DD should not have another unproductive school year, so I will say things and stand up for her.

Would you push to have your kid moved or would you just leave it be?

The other minor issues were that the teacher has made it very obvious to the students and to us that she favors the boys over the girls. And then that she had told us about an incident where DD went to her with a concern, when in fact DD was afraid to approach her so WE brought the concern to her attention. She told us DD writes too many sentences in her journal so she takes points off for DD not getting straight to the point like boys do...her words. DD being rushed through spelling tests bc her partner was a boy more advanced than her so he would rush her to be the first team done, so she was not taking her time and getting words wrong. DD is afraid to raise her hand to ask for extra help or to say she doesn't understand, and she's afraid to ask the teacher one on one as well, so she comes home not understanding her homework completely. Not all huge issues, but they are adding up...
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by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 12:28 PM
Replies (21-24):
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:23 PM

I was afraid he had the wrong teacher as well, lol.  So I asked DD who came to get her in the lunchroom and it was her teacher.  Who proceeded to not seem to know who DD was when she was right in front of her.  So it was the right teacher, I double checked before emailing the principal.

Quoting periwinkle163:

 Have you set up a meeting with your dd's teacher to try to find a solution. Also not to be rude but are you 100 percent sure your dh stopped the right teacher? It seems more likely to me that he might have spoken to the wrong teacher than that a teacher wouldn't know a kid in their class. I only ask because a similar situation happened at my son's school last week and the parent felt like a total butt when she realized what happened.

by Platinum Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:23 PM
Gotcha...if you've already tried to work with the teacher then yes, I agree going to the principal is the next best step.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

I explained the situation above, it wasn't a simple name mix up.  We all do that.

We had a big issue last year and we let it go against our better judgement.  This year we are trying to be more proactive since we are only 1/3 of the way through the year.  We tried to give it some time, we did talk with the teacher about a couple of things and she did try to fix them.  But my biggest concern is that I don't feel DD is getting all that she should be from 4th grade, she doesn't feel cared for or safe and those are major concerns for me.  She has some abandonment issues (she is my SD, her BM left 3.5 years ago and at this point hasn't seen her in over a year or even called her in like 9 months).  She NEEDS to trust the adults in her life, she NEEDS to know they will do everything to protect her and care for her, she doesn't feel this way about her teacher whom she spends over 6 hours a day with.   And that's just not ok with me.

Quoting coolmommy2x:

I'm surprised that you haven't even attempted to work with the teacher first. The principal is going to ask why. Although the examples you gave were minor, you still had the power to work on them as they came up, you chose not to.

The name thing isn't minor but I agree with the PPs, could she just had a brain cloud? I only have 2 kids and I get their names wrong all the time.

We had an issue with DS in 2 grade but by the time we were fully aware of it and its consequences, it was late winter so we kept him where he was and figured out ways to support him from home and be ready for 3rd grade (which was an awesome year).

Moving to a new class isn't always the answer, especially at this late will throw off the balance of the new class and after a period of adjustment, there is no saying it will be better. At least you know this teacher and how you can help your DD.

JMO, it's not fair to expect the principal to come in and save the day if this has been ongoing without any effort to fix it.

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by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:45 PM

I think your concerns are not so minor, as a teacher I was always reminded about non-bias curriculum and that should be a standard in all schools. I would recommend writing a note or email to the teacher with your concerns, stating how difficult it is for your daughter to have a positive learning experience with a teacher who does not take the time to learn her name. It is a shame that the teacher so favors the boys, I was just told the program my children are in is geared towards the girls. That makes me worry for my boy, who is very studious and smart and I would like him to stay that way.  If your letter does not get addressed by the teacher in a reasonable manner and amount of time, then meet with the principal about the classroom environment and your concerns for your child's emotional and cognitive growth. We have two psychologists who we can speak to as we'll, does your school have anyone there? Hope this works out for you and your child.

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:33 PM

I agree that you do have several issues that you should bring up to the principal. I have had parents stop me in the hall or at lunch and say, "Hi, Ms. Smith, How is Johnny doing in reading?" Well, my name is not Ms. Smith and Johnny is not in my class or even grade level. I have also said hello to Sally's mom, only to realise, that it was not Sally's mom that I was saying hello to. My point is, sometimes it is easy to mix people up when you have only met them once or twice in person. Also, even though my dd knows who her teacher is, she will also call her teacher's partner teacher, the PE teachers, the music teacher, the art teacher, and the paraprofessionals her teacher. I have also made the mistake of, "Sally Smith, where are you?", and Sally is standing right next to me. It's not that I didn't know the little girl standing right next to me name, it was simply that I didn't see Sally standng right next to me. I am not trying to defend the teacher, it just seems almost impossible to me for a teacher not to know a child's name.

I would not go to the principal and demand that your dd is put in to a new class. Sometimes, it is almost impossible to. My dd's school has high enrollment this year and every kindergarten class is right at or over the maximum amount of students in each class. There is also always the risk that you have your dd change classes and the problems are not resolved. I would e-mail the teacher about the incident and c.c. the E-Mail to the principal. I promise, if the teacher knows that you are now involving the principal, she will respond in a timely manner. I would then schedule a meeting with the principal to discuss your issues. I wouldn't say, "I want my child moved." I would explain to the principal the issuesyou are having and ask the principal what can be done to solve the issues. If the problems continue, then I would suggest to the principal having your dd switch classes. I say this because I believe the principal will be more willing to switch your dd if she knows everything has been done to resolve the issue. If you are coming to her 5 months into the semester with an issue, she may feel that your issues are not as legitimate as they would be if you would have brought them up earlier in the school year. Again, I am not on the teacher's side. I just am trying to offer advice that will best help you get what is best for your daughter.

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