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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

6 yr old & tantrums

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:14 AM
  • 19 Replies
My daughter is almost seven and has just begun to throw tantrums. Once she starts, its like nothing i say matters. Example... We were at school and at lunch she want led to come with me i said ok, then she said no i wanna stay here. Np i started to leave and shes running around the parking lot crying and screaming cause she wants to stay/ she wants to go. I tell her she doesnt hav a choice and pick her up and try to put her in the car she kicks me and runs from me. The tantrums can last a few hours. I just dont know what to do. Shes a good kids, very smart and excells in academics. I do tell her when it starts to think ablout it and she knows shell lose her tv time and reading lamp but in the moment its like she cant hear me. Please help any advice or comments please please. I feel like ive really failed her because idk how to handle this. Help me.
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by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:14 AM
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frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:27 AM
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Why is she leaving after lunch with you in first place or why is that an option?  I am confused.   I would stay calm and firm even when i am dying of embarrassment since 2 people out of control accomplishes nothing.   I would just open my door to car and sit there while she has her fit.  Open her door as well so after the fit is done she can get in herself.  If it makes you late to things, she will learn the natural consequences of holding everyone up from appointments.   You made the mistake of giving her the choice in beginning so she willl change her mind a million times.   My dd is 6 as well, 7 in march and if i let her she will play this game all day.  When i give her choices, we go with the first one. 

diaperstodating
by Queen24Princes on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:32 AM
Bump
Uzma_mom_of_2
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 2:30 AM
3 moms liked this

I'd make the punishments harsher every time she did it. She's old enough to have more control of her actions (unless she has a special need of course).  The first time no tv for a day.  Next time a week and something else.

And I frankly I wouldn't tolerate hours of it. People will jump all over me and say how horrible I am, but she'd get smacked on the butt for it. Crying in disappointment at having to leave, okay. As long as she obeyed and got in the car.  Hours of being kicked and running away from me?  Hell no. And after the first solid smack,  I'd tell her the next one will be harder if she doesn't calm down now. That is not how we behave.  And she could forget about going to the park again if she continues.

Sometimes that shock will flip a switch and turn of the hysterics.


Not gonna debate my methods with anyone by the way. I don't think a smack on the butt is going to damge there personalities, self-esteem, or intelligence. So just bang your head on the keyboard if I frustrate you. or even better, just get over it.

EDIT: Reread. Parking Lot? Definitely a hell no. I'd rather her fear me beating her butt then getting hit by a car.

______________________________________________________________

 I very rarely bother to check a board twice, so debate, get mad, or whatever it is that'll make you feel better, if you don't like what I have to say, because it won't bother me :)sticking out tongue

JasonsMom2007
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 2:35 AM
my son does that. drives me crazy! tiny things set him off and the tantrums can last for hours with the results lasting the rest of the day. nothing I do snaps him out of it. a lot of times he doesn't even remember what he did during his tantrum.
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yogima
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:58 AM
Thank u . The parking lot is a private school so there were no moving cars. I normaly hav not spanked her because she hasnt given me reason. Last week during one i pulled her in another room and did, it did not seem to phase her.
Im glad to hear shes not the only one but sad u hav to go thro it as well. If i try and talk to her after it jus keeps it going. Its jus so upsetting. I was in tears last week, i feel like no consequence is big enough to really shake her. She doesnt ever say no to her dad and hes seen the tantrums but they always start w me and i feel like thetes something im missing.
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yogima
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:21 AM
I teach kidner at her school and my little daughter is in my class so when i drop my class off at lunch her 3rd grade class is already in there. My little one always stays with me but i rarley leave campus. You are right its the choice to go or stay is what set her off. And it ended in my driving away while she was on the doorstep of the lunchroom:( i texted the lunch lady to go out and get her. And she when in ate her lunch very quietly and by the time i picked up my class she was back to her happy well mannered self. I have thought of giving notice at the school and staying home, im there because i want the best and the break in tuition is great. Shes in 3rd grade at 6, and we dont want her with bigger kids. The school allows her to be with kids her ages and continue to be challeged. Its so frustrating, and yes i may be embarassed at times, but i try to not get frazzeled and b consistant, often feeling like im not going to argue w her or debate. And never feeling like im in control.
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yogima
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:26 AM
Shell be 7 in march also. At times during a tantrum shell look me right in the face and tell me no. And ill start telling her what the consiquences will be and it doesnt register. Later when i follow through on ... No tv all week. She has another tantrum. I cant sleep because im just so upset
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mom2jessnky
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 7:30 AM
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I ignore tantrums. I don't even give them the time of day. You want to scream and look like a lunatic? No problem, I'll play WELDER on my phone until you're done. Let her roll around in the parking lot, screaming, she's the one that looks crazy not you. When she calms down you ask 'You done?' and then follow through with what you were doing.

If you need to take her out early, don't make it an option, "we're leaving, let's go"  if she says NO, go "Oh sweetie, this isn't multiple choice, get in the car"  If she wants to scream and fuss, ignore it. Once she sees it's not working she'll stop. Kids have tantrums because they work, when they don't work, they stop.

My kids never have tantrums any more, it was made clear (by me) that they don't get you anywhere so it's really just a waste of time. They pout, that's fine, but screaming and carrying on? Nope.  Oh you don't want to go to the store? I don't either but we need milk.

yogima
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 7:41 AM
I feel like the more i ignore the louder she gets, but it makes sence. What about when im home, shell have thw tanturm and ill send her to her room, but shell continue to come out over n over. Do i just ignore that. She never does this to dad, so i know its me. I really want to make it better. She seems so upswt wen.dads disappointed in her but doesnt really care wen i am. Thank you ao much
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HyperMom38
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:39 AM

This exactly! 

Quoting mom2jessnky:

I ignore tantrums. I don't even give them the time of day. You want to scream and look like a lunatic? No problem, I'll play WELDER on my phone until you're done. Let her roll around in the parking lot, screaming, she's the one that looks crazy not you. When she calms down you ask 'You done?' and then follow through with what you were doing.

If you need to take her out early, don't make it an option, "we're leaving, let's go"  if she says NO, go "Oh sweetie, this isn't multiple choice, get in the car"  If she wants to scream and fuss, ignore it. Once she sees it's not working she'll stop. Kids have tantrums because they work, when they don't work, they stop.

My kids never have tantrums any more, it was made clear (by me) that they don't get you anywhere so it's really just a waste of time. They pout, that's fine, but screaming and carrying on? Nope.  Oh you don't want to go to the store? I don't either but we need milk.


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