Idk what to do about this effing teacher **update**update 2 the meeting**
So a month ago, we moved into a house and my son switched schools. They do things TOTALLY different there, so adjusting has been a challenge. My son has ADHD and aspergers as well. He takes homeopathic medicine and attends counseling and social skills classes.
Anyway, unbeknown to me the teacher he got is a first year teacher. She is very picky and likes things her way. She's of course been made aware of my sons situation as well a ways to handle him in class. Naturally she is having some problems with him, and I have been trying to work with her to help both of them adjust and what not.
So, one day my son tells me that she said he was "frickin pissing her off" I of course emailed her and she said that she said "ticked off" but yes she did say that in front of the whole class and a few kids laughed at him.
The following week, I get an email that says, André is having a hard time this week, he lost all of his friends, nobody likes him and he is a huge disruption. So then I drive to the school the second I read the email and I talked with her for an hour.
She went on and on about how she doesn't know how to deal with him and she doesn't talk to him nicely anymore and the kids in class are picking up on it and they don't want to play with him etc etc and that she is letting him go to the bathroom 10+ times a day and it's distracting blah blah.. So first I'm like.... Are you serious? Don't let him go that much then. Do you really think he has to pee that much?? And second, you're AWARE that the way you treat him in front of the other kids is getting him bullied, and yet you continue to do so?!? (The bullying alone could be a whole other post..) however I want you to know I didnt say any if it like that. I could tell she was frustrated and I THOUGHT we had come up with some good solutions for both parties, as I'm fully aware that my son isn't the only kid in her class, but also that he shouldn't have to feel like crap..
Anyway, so today he comes home and said "I was singing Grandma got run over by a reindeer and my teacher looked at me and told me to shut up, and the whole class laughed at me." So I emailed the teacher and she admitted that she did.
So I told my husband, maybe we should put him in one of the other classes (there he will have friends, in both of the other classes my son knows kids from across the street and church and the teachers are 3+ year teachers) and he basically said, no way, he'll be labeled as the problem child, blah blah blah.
So now idk what to do. A huge part of me wants to move him into the other class still even after my husband disagreed (we're currently fighting about that right now) and I've already talked to the principal and she was like, well take it up with the teacher, I don't really care (which I plan to talk to the superintendent about, I know him personally and I think what she did was bullsh*t, but that's also another post.)
Sorry this is so long I just don't know what to do or how to handle this. I've never had this problem.
Btw, my son is 7, second grade.
Update: so the superintendent is out of town for the rest of the week. However I talked to the principal today. She told me she was going to meet with me, the teacher, and the school counselor on Friday morning. I asked if I could do it sooner as the issues were pressing. She said no. So I took my son out of class and we are going to meet Friday before school starts.
I am pretty ticked about our conversation though. I was like, the teacher openly admitted that she doesn't know how to handle André and this is her first year of teaching. I am thinking it might be in his best interests to put him in a class with a teacher who has more experience. Her response was, "well I don't know that I can do that, and quite frankly, there isn't a teacher in this school who would be excited to have your son in their classroom." So..... Yeah. I don't know what else to do as of right now. I'll update on how the meeting goes.
*****since it matters so much, this is me letting you all know that i do not let my son get away with acting out in class and misbehaving. now that it has been noted, can we get back to the main topic? what should i do to deal with this teacher and principal NOT my son...
Update 2: so i just barely got back from meeting with the teacher, school counselor, and principal. i recorded the entire meeting. First thing the principal did was apologize over and over for what she said. His teacher just sat there the entire time with his arms crossed and an attitude. i didnt even mention the incident they had a few days ago though. I just said, my main focus here is protecting my son. Ms. H openly admitted to me that she does not know how to handle Andre and often is incapable of talking to him nicely. She also admitted that the students are picking up on this and reacting to it. which in turn is enabling them to bully my son. And while it's not necessarily a bad thing that she doesnt know how to handle Andre since this is her first year of teaching, i am also not willing to let her take her frustrations out on him in a way that could affect him socially for either the remainder of his time at this school or potentially for the rest of his life. I would suggest placing the teacher in a class that will help her handle kids in a proper way and how to seperate her emotions from her reactions. (which his teacher didnt like me saying) then the counselor suggested that he goes into an extensive behavior plan which has to man details to explain, and i agreed to try one more time, after I asked my son if that was okay and he said yes. So they get two weeks. On February 1st we are meeting again to see how it goes and this is all under the condition that if my son comes home ONE more time with problems like this, he is no questions asked to be put into another classroom. The principal agreed.
i am also contacting the principals direct supervisor as well as the superintendent and letting them know that although this seems to be being handled at the school level, i want the entire situation documented with them in case there are any more problems.
i know my son is not the only problem here. A lot of people are making comments like, he needs to be in special ed, and there is more to the story, and i should have more sympathy for the teacher, etc. but let me tell you. Nobody I have worked with, inside of the school or out, even after this meeting thinks Andre needs to be in special education. Nobody can even tell he has aspergers unless i told them, and his ADHD isnt THAT bad. And while I am sympathetic to the teacher having to ask him to sit down a little more often than some of the other kids, that doesnt give her the right to bully my son in front of the entire class especially at this age. I also can tell you that he has NEVER had this problem with any other teacher he has ever had before. So I KNOW that this is this one particular teacher that is the main source of the problem and there is not more to the story. And really you cant bash me or say anything about my son because you dont know him. and you do not know how he acts or what kind of kid he is. and this post wasnt made so that you can tell me that i need to teach him to bahave better, or for you to determine that he needs to be in special education. All i was asking for here was some help on how to handle the situation with the teacher and principal. so that is all i care to hear your comments on.
i suppose i will update again after the second meeting.