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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

My 6 year old told me she wanted to kill herself

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:35 PM
  • 26 Replies

I have no clue how to handle this.  She has said it once before and we had a nice long talk about it.  She said it again today after she was acting crazy and I told her I was going to take her laptop away for the afternoon.  When I asked her why she would say that, she at first said " I don't know" then said that she said it because we (mom and dad) make her mad and that we never let her do anything.  I explained to her that if she killed herself that she would never see her family again.  I asked her if she wanted that and she just started bawling and crying.  How would you ladies handle this situation?

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kaylasmom22
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:39 PM
4 moms liked this
First why does a 6 year old have a laptop? Does she deserve it? Is she behaving?
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becauseIsaid
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:46 PM
1 mom liked this

In my opinion a 6 year old should not be saying that let alone thinking it so my question would be what else is going on? Are there any other problems? So you suspect any other problems? Behavioral, emotionally, or mentally? Does anyone in your family suffer from problems? You are her only advocate so if you suspect something isn't right please get her help.

Otherwise I am going to say she needs structure and discipline and needs it now. If she cannot behave appropriately then she does not deserve her laptop. It is something that is earned not given. She needs to understand that the words she says does hurt not only herself but others. Good luck momma. Parenting is hard sometimes.

corrinacs
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:48 PM

Oh wow :/.  i am sorry you are going through this.  I know my son acts that way at times and will say "I hate you" or "i wanna go away" after similar scenarios, but he's never  pulled the "kill myself" card before.

Since this is not the first time its happene,d perhaps you should speak to your pediatrician about it.  Its definitely not normal for children at that age to even understand what that means.  Do you know where she may have heard langauage like that?

How often does she have these outbursts?  IF its rare, then things are probably fine, we all have bad days.  But if its often, you defintitely want to bring that up as well.  Talk to her about things that may be bothering her in and otu of school.  When she says "you don't let me do aynthing" ask her what that means?  Is she bored?  Bored at home and/or at school?  That would be my first inclination, but hopefully you can talk to her to get to the bottom of whta's bothering her THAT bad.

Good luck!

And don't listen to the poster ahead.  My son doesn't have his own laptop, but he's very smart for his age.  My DH is a software developer and wants Caden to have the option of learning his trade if he wants to.  If he wants to learn how to use a comptuer at this age, then so be it.  This is when it starts, if they want to be very very good at something ;).

JoanahLee
by Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:51 PM

I think you handled it well... explain how serious and permanent suicide is. I would continue that conversation and explain to her, and then role play, some alternate statements that get her point across better... "Im really really mad at you right now!" or "I don't want to talk to anyone, id rather be alone for a little while" or "Im sad/angry/frustrated, please listen to me".  

Try  not to let her see a big reaction from you either, otherwise she will learn that she can always get your attention and cause a scene when she says that. 

If you have even the smallest doubt that she is not just using a phrase she heard to get your attention then take her to a counselor.  

kaylasmom22
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:53 PM
Lol I asked cause some parents give their kids whatever they want even when the kid misbehave. So when the parent finally acts tough they act out. Smh.

Quoting corrinacs:

Oh wow :/.  i am sorry you are going through this.  I know my son acts that way at times and will say "I hate you" or "i wanna go away" after similar scenarios, but he's never  pulled the "kill myself" card before.

Since this is not the first time its happene,d perhaps you should speak to your pediatrician about it.  Its definitely not normal for children at that age to even understand what that means.  Do you know where she may have heard langauage like that?

How often does she have these outbursts?  IF its rare, then things are probably fine, we all have bad days.  But if its often, you defintitely want to bring that up as well.  Talk to her about things that may be bothering her in and otu of school.  When she says "you don't let me do aynthing" ask her what that means?  Is she bored?  Bored at home and/or at school?  That would be my first inclination, but hopefully you can talk to her to get to the bottom of whta's bothering her THAT bad.

Good luck!

And don't listen to the poster ahead.  My son doesn't have his own laptop, but he's very smart for his age.  My DH is a software developer and wants Caden to have the option of learning his trade if he wants to.  If he wants to learn how to use a comptuer at this age, then so be it.  This is when it starts, if they want to be very very good at something ;).

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corrinacs
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:01 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh, i see what you are saying.  That does happen from time to time.  I thought you were forming a rebuttal that children at that age shoudln't have laptops at all LOL.  Its ok.

Caden doesn't have his own laptop, but we allow him to use an old one of ours.  He's pretty good at it.  Wee don't allow him on the Internet though.  Not yet anyway.

And with the acting out, I know that feeling :/.  Especially when one parent allows something and the other doesn't.......that so darn annoying LOL. 


Quoting kaylasmom22:

Lol I asked cause some parents give their kids whatever they want even when the kid misbehave. So when the parent finally acts tough they act out. Smh.

Quoting corrinacs:

Oh wow :/.  i am sorry you are going through this.  I know my son acts that way at times and will say "I hate you" or "i wanna go away" after similar scenarios, but he's never  pulled the "kill myself" card before.

Since this is not the first time its happene,d perhaps you should speak to your pediatrician about it.  Its definitely not normal for children at that age to even understand what that means.  Do you know where she may have heard langauage like that?

How often does she have these outbursts?  IF its rare, then things are probably fine, we all have bad days.  But if its often, you defintitely want to bring that up as well.  Talk to her about things that may be bothering her in and otu of school.  When she says "you don't let me do aynthing" ask her what that means?  Is she bored?  Bored at home and/or at school?  That would be my first inclination, but hopefully you can talk to her to get to the bottom of whta's bothering her THAT bad.

Good luck!

And don't listen to the poster ahead.  My son doesn't have his own laptop, but he's very smart for his age.  My DH is a software developer and wants Caden to have the option of learning his trade if he wants to.  If he wants to learn how to use a comptuer at this age, then so be it.  This is when it starts, if they want to be very very good at something ;).




iansusie
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:02 PM

Do you think she understands what "Kill myself" means? Maybe she is just mad and knows that it will get  to you if she says it? 

ruby_jewel_04
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:12 PM
This.


Quoting becauseIsaid:

In my opinion a 6 year old should not be saying that let alone thinking it so my question would be what else is going on? Are there any other problems? So you suspect any other problems? Behavioral, emotionally, or mentally? Does anyone in your family suffer from problems? You are her only advocate so if you suspect something isn't right please get her help.

Otherwise I am going to say she needs structure and discipline and needs it now. If she cannot behave appropriately then she does not deserve her laptop. It is something that is earned not given. She needs to understand that the words she says does hurt not only herself but others. Good luck momma. Parenting is hard sometimes.


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sunfire79
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:18 PM

It's an old laptop and the only thing she uses it for is netflix.....she does not have access to the internet or youtube

Quoting kaylasmom22:

First why does a 6 year old have a laptop? Does she deserve it? Is she behaving?



StephanieSH
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:20 PM

My son started saying this at about that age as well.  He was having a lot of problems in school and we decided to see a therapist to help us as a family.  My son has always had trouble coping and dealing with anxiety.  The thconlcuded  with him to make sure he understands what he means when he says that and concluded her didn't really have the intent.  He just said it when he was feeling anxious and overwhelmed.  Ovewr the years she has worked with him on being able to specifically expressing what the problem is rather than saying something like that and gave him tools to help him cope and to deal with his anxiety.  He is 10 now and doing much much better.

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