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ideas to boost 5 year old boy's self esteem

Posted by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:56 PM
  • 11 Replies
My 5.5 year old kindergartener told me today that hr doesnt like himself and that he thinks he is bad.

My dh and i always give him praise nd tell him we are proud of him. Any other ideas to help boost his self esteem?
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by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
aetrom
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:34 AM
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I would not try to raise his self esteem as much as find out why he feels that way, what might have happened, etc.
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signingmama2915
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:13 AM
I talked to him and asked him why he feels like that and he told me it was because of a thing that happened while he was in preschool about 2 years ago.

The incident was he fell down and scraped himself up. Unknowiingly to dh and i got some tiny rocks stuck in his hand and they got infected witjin a day.i noticed it and asked him about it and he said he wouldnt let the teachers help him get it out. So dh got them out. He cried and it hurt him a lot, we told him it is important if that happens he either let the teachers help right away or tell us so it doesnt.get infected.

Well, what he told me today is that it still hurts when he thinks about this and he tninks he is bad because of this, then he started to cry. I told him it was okay, and he had done nothing wrong, and it was a long time ago. He was still upset.


Quoting aetrom:

I would not try to raise his self esteem as much as find out why he feels that way, what might have happened, etc.
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aetrom
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:58 AM
I would keep talking, I would think that more is going on and it may take a bit to get the rest of his feelings.... Just keep an open line of communication... Imo
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STVUstudent
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:07 AM
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You may actually be praising him too much.  At around 4-1/2, kids start to understand the difference between open and specific- for instance, "you are such a smart boy"- open, "you did so well reading all your sight words"- specific.  Between 4 and 6, they figure out that an open complement/praise really doesn't mean anything.  Also, if you are praising everything, that doesn't do anything to accentuate the really praise-worthy... "Great job picing up all your clothes" when that is EXPECTED of him is not praise worthy- a simple "thank you for doing your chore" might be better.

If he is saying he is bad, someone might be telling him this- have you had a conversation with his teacher?

Lydlou02
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:21 AM
He needs to learn how to forgive himself for making mistakes. I'm all grown up and I still have issues with that sometimes. "OMG, I can't believe I did that (5y ago, back in elementary school, last week whenever) I feel so stupid."
I think that finding a counselor fir him would help him learn to let go of his mistakes.
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PerfectVirgo
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:26 AM
Maybe if you tell him some of your mistakes. I do this with trainees because I don't need them paralyzed by fear of making a mistake. I always tell them "don't be afraid to make a mistake. I can help you fix it because I've done it" use the same logic on your boy. "Don't worry so much about (the incident). I did that once too. I didn't tell my mom something I should have, and I learned that I have to tell her. It's ok. As long as you learned from it, it's ok to make mistakes. We all learn that way.
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Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:21 AM
Find out more specifics at school...how is he doing in class? Is he struggling anywhere?

I. Agree with the poster who said to find specific accomplishments to praise.

Id also find something he is interested in and can excel in outside of school. Does he like a specific sport? Or activity? Baseball, martial arts, Music, dance, gymnasstics....something he can enjoy and take pride in.
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LntLckrsCmQut
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:41 AM

Does he play sports?

signingmama2915
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:41 PM
He played soccer last season and he starts baseball soon

Quoting LntLckrsCmQut:

Does he play sports?

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signingmama2915
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:43 PM
I do find specifics to praise him for. Sorry i wasnt more specific. I say things like wow that was clever how you did xyz, or thank you for listening the first time i asked you to do xyz, or i like your picture, etc.

Quoting STVUstudent:

You may actually be praising him too much.  At around 4-1/2, kids start to understand the difference between open and specific- for instance, "you are such a smart boy"- open, "you did so well reading all your sight words"- specific.  Between 4 and 6, they figure out that an open complement/praise really doesn't mean anything.  Also, if you are praising everything, that doesn't do anything to accentuate the really praise-worthy... "Great job picing up all your clothes" when that is EXPECTED of him is not praise worthy- a simple "thank you for doing your chore" might be better.


If he is saying he is bad, someone might be telling him this- have you had a conversation with his teacher?

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