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How would you feel about this???

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:05 PM
  • 32 Replies
Dd is in kinder and according to her teacher she is very smart. I know she is smart but at times I doubt all this knowledge the teacher talks about. Well Tues the whole school has a spelling b and 5 from each class will go. From 13 kids she placed 3rd and was the only girl to be chosen.She has been getting a spelling test every Fri and gets 100-108 xtra points for amazing words. Well today she got 94 misspelled under but got the amazing word twins fine. I'm happy she is doing great but upset cause I got used to the 100. Also I would have love for her to be number 1 in the qualifying round. How do you handle test scores? What grade do you expect your kid to get all the time?
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by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:05 PM
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by Emerald Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:13 PM
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Chill and be happy that she is doing so well.  I don't consider a 94 to be bad on a test and placing 3rd in a spelling bee is wonderful.  If you keep pressuring her to only get 100's and to always be the best at everything, it may backfire on you in the teenage years big time.

Honestly, I only get upset if they fail something.  Oh and did I mention that both of my boys (3rd and 6th grade) are typically straight A students.

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:14 PM
I expect a's all the time bc it'. All dd 8 has ever brought me. She got a low b on a spelling test that i didnt make her study for (bc she said they had done them all day in class) and i took it pretty hard. I let her get away with not studying, And she didnt know them. Total mom guilt. She will never get away with that again.
But your dd still did well. It's too much to expect perfection all the time!
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by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:15 PM

In elementary school I don't get hung up on their grades, I was just an average student and a poor student in middle school but thrived in high school enough to graduate at the end of my sophomore year (with extra credit courses and summer courses which they don't normally offer, unless a student failed the course previously).

As long as my kids are performing the best they can and show the normal improvement over the year I don't fret about a few low grades. Just recently during the parent/teacher conference my daughter's 1st grade teacher told me how my daughter is the best at math, and that she absolutely loves math, but while reading off her recent daily and test scores she said there were a couple scores that were a lot lower than my daughter's average but she said sometimes kids just get distracted and it's not uncommon to have a low score every once in awhile.

My daughter in 3rd grade will occasionally get a low score on her spelling tests, and it's usually because she misspelled a common word - a word she has used and known how to spell for years - but overall the occasional low score hasn't affected her grades.

by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:16 PM
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I expect them to do their best. Whatever it may be. A 94 hardly constitutes a lack of knowledge.
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by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:18 PM
A 94 is still an A - it would not concern me
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by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:19 PM

Do not set up goals or accomplishments in terms of performance because there will be plenty of times their ability and potential will not meet that.  I always set up accomplishments and success by focusing on effort goals.  I do expect them to put a little more work into it if they are not understanding it but, ultimately, just want them to do the best they can.

My all-time favorite quote is from John Wooden (former UCLA coach, National Champions year after year, etc):

"Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did the best to become the best you are capable of becoming."

If you focus more on their effort and even praise their will get WAY MORE out of them than focusing on performance.  If children are made to focus on performance, then they will either meet it (and probably not try more than that) or not meet it (and feel like a failure).

A really great book to read for parenting, coaching, teaching, business, etc is Carol Dweck's Mindset.  Excellent book. 

by Ruby Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:44 PM

 I wouldn't focus so much on her getting 100's all the time. A 94 is still very good. As long as we know they tried their best, we don't get too upset over an occasion bad grade.

Ds2 usually gets A's on his spelling tests, but has gotten a couple of C's; we know kids have bad days and since he usually does well, didn't get upset over it.

Ds1, on the other hand. . . We know he is capable of doing well (he has gotten very good grades), but when he "forgets" to hand in homework or doesn't bother to study much for a quiz/test, then we get upset over the resulting poor grades. He's in 8th gr and we've been fighting this battle since 4th gr.






by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:47 PM

I expect ds to do his best, whatever that best may be. I don't tie it to letter grades. Also, a test is just a test - it's not the total definition of a child's knowledge, anyway. Conventional testing assesses knowledge, not intelligence, so while it's great if he gets high marks (and he usually does), I don't really consider it the end of the world if he doesn't.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:54 PM

 It's great that she is doing so well, but the words and the work will get harder and more challenging. Don't put such high standards or expectations on her so early...she has 12+ years to go. Relax and enjoy that she excels at this subject.

I expect my DD to do her very best no matter what the scores are. She is strong in certain subjects and weak in others. She works hard, applies herself and asks for help when she needs it. If a score is lower than 85%, we review the material she got wrong so she sees where her mistakes were and she can correct them in the future. She will also review it with her teacher in case there is something she was taught that I'm not aware of at home.

by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:01 PM

I'm just surprised they even do spelling in Kinder.  At my kids school they don't start doing spelling tests until 1st grade.  My Kindergartener is still just learning to read.  Also, he doesn't really have test scores in Kindy on anything.  So for a Kindy, I don't handle test scores at all.

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