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This is an obvious spin off from the post about attendance awards. 

I already said in that post I don't think they really encourage the kids with poor attendance to come to school more so they don't really help attendance problems. 

But as I read through the thread I was struck by how many moms thought it was unfair or even cruel for some kids to be given this award since their own child wouldn't be getting it. 

But isn't that true for any award? What would the point be of award if everyone got it?

Should we stop giving sports awards because the less coordinated kids will be sad they didn't get it? Is an art award unfair to the students who don't draw well?

The bigger question is really why are kids upset if their classmates get something they don't? Not receiving an award isn't a punishment. But somehow it seems to be interpreted that way but students and parents. Of course a young child may feel a little disappointment when he or she sees a classmate get to take home a certificate or trophy. But as parents isn't it our job to teach them they should be happy for the other child and help them realize that everyone has different strengths?

One my struggling students is working to earn perfect attendance this year. He has his own alarm clock in his room and gets up and out to the bus 10 minutes early every day because he knows if he misses the bus he can't get to school. He earned perfect attendance last year and the trophy sits on a shelf in the middle of the living room. Anyone who comes over is shown the trophy the second they walk through the door. This award gave him something to be proud of.  He comes to school every day and watches his classmates out score him on every test and assignments. So when he got to walk up on that stage to get his trophy it was a huge accomplishment to him. 

So if you think it's so cruel your kid didn't get an award because they got sick a few times maybe you should consider just being happy for the kids that did get it. 

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:12 AM
Replies (21-30):
ruby_jewel_04
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:15 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree with you Max. its ridiculous the things parents think now. They are teaching their children to be upset about it. No one wants to learn or teach good sportsmanship, or being a good loser anymore. They just think everything should be fair, no matter if the kids deserve it or not. NEWSFLASH: Life has NEVER been fair.
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mhaney03
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:21 AM

I can't stand the "every kid gets an award" crap.

for my daughter's award night last year, EVERY kid got an award.  she got an extra one because she was in the top 10 in her entire grade for finishing math objectives, but every kid who even finished 1 got an award for that 1.  she came home with ten awards, some kids went home with a lot more, and they deserved it, but other kids who were known troublemakers, who didn't care about schoolwork, got awards too.

I guess in a way, I can see the school's side of things,  Maybe an award will help motivate a child in the case that the child has no real motivation or support at home (and let's face it, that happens way more than we want to admit).  Sometimes the parents just don't care what the kid does adn the school is trying to compensate for that.

I, as a parent, wouldn't allow that at all.  Our instructor wanted my kids to test for one of the belt tests last year and I told him they weren't ready and he pushed the issue, knowing that the person in charge of the testing lets all the really little ones pass regardless because he doesn't want to discourage them.  I said NO, they will not pass a test just because they have cute little faces.  They aren't ready, so they don't get the next level, period.

mjande4
by Platinum Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this

Stories like this are why the awards lose meaning. When EVERY kid gets one, then it's NOT motivating at all. UGH!

Quoting mhaney03:

I can't stand the "every kid gets an award" crap.

for my daughter's award night last year, EVERY kid got an award.  she got an extra one because she was in the top 10 in her entire grade for finishing math objectives, but every kid who even finished 1 got an award for that 1.  she came home with ten awards, some kids went home with a lot more, and they deserved it, but other kids who were known troublemakers, who didn't care about schoolwork, got awards too.

I guess in a way, I can see the school's side of things,  Maybe an award will help motivate a child in the case that the child has no real motivation or support at home (and let's face it, that happens way more than we want to admit).  Sometimes the parents just don't care what the kid does adn the school is trying to compensate for that.

I, as a parent, wouldn't allow that at all.  Our instructor wanted my kids to test for one of the belt tests last year and I told him they weren't ready and he pushed the issue, knowing that the person in charge of the testing lets all the really little ones pass regardless because he doesn't want to discourage them.  I said NO, they will not pass a test just because they have cute little faces.  They aren't ready, so they don't get the next level, period.



Seriously868
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:33 AM
Dd only missed one day in kindergarten for my moms funeral. So far in first grade no missed school..... I want to instill in them that school is important and they need to go, Kwim. I don't care either way about awards but definately don't think they are cruel....
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Starshine-bela
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:55 AM
Agreed. His karate teacher likes to quote Einstein when he said "I'm no smarter than the next guy, I just stuck with the problem." And it's true, try and fail a hundred times till you get it right.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:

clapping

Failing is the only way to really accomplish anything great.

Quoting Starshine-bela:

It seems to be a mindset with parents these days. No such thing as winning or losing so no real chance to fail and thus no real chance to improve. It's unfair if one's child doesn't get a trophy or medal just because another child did. I don't agree with this mind set. I believe in teaching my child to work hard and failing if necessary just so he can learn to improve. His karate teacher teaches black belt ethics. For the one titled effort, he teaches the kids, "winners never quit and quitters never win. Always work hard and try your best." We practice this at home too.


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Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:18 PM
I'm one of the anti~attendance awards people.

Like Teri pointed out,how fair is that to a child with a chronic illness? Or that REALLY gets sick?

I'm NOT one to say everyone is entitled...not in the least but the teachers know who is sick and who takes "mental health days" and a kid shouldn't be punsihed for getting sick.

I have a friend who's kids are in public school. That award means so much to her oldest that. She does go to school sick and waits to get sent home because then its not connsidered an absence @@ She will cry and go iinto hysterics if her mom. Wants her to stay home...totally insane!
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TristansMom440
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:46 PM

I agree kids shouldn't be awarded for everything.  That being said...my son was disappointed when he didn't get an award one month.  He was horribly sick with the flu...104 temps, so obviously he couldn't go.  Hard to explain to a kindergartener why he didn't get one cause he was sick...something that was out of his control, if you kwim. :)

kameka
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:59 PM
Here's what I find unfair about awards- when they are given to kids in hopes of raising self esteem instead of giving them to the kids who deserve them.
My 10 year old works her butt off and gets As and Bs. She just won her school science fair and reads 2 grade levels above hers. However she has NEVER received any award during school spirit days other than for being on the honor roll. She gets annoyed when the troublemaker in class is awarded the reading award when he is not even trying.
If they were awards for "reading improvement" then cool but they're not supposed to be.
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mjande4
by Platinum Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:16 PM
1 mom liked this

My kid's school was giving awards monthly for math and writing. If, however, you were in the advanced sections they deemed you ineligible to receive them. The school stopped after the kids told them the awards were a joke, because the best math and writing students were NOT getting the awards and EVERYONE knew it.

Quoting kameka:

Here's what I find unfair about awards- when they are given to kids in hopes of raising self esteem instead of giving them to the kids who deserve them.
My 10 year old works her butt off and gets As and Bs. She just won her school science fair and reads 2 grade levels above hers. However she has NEVER received any award during school spirit days other than for being on the honor roll. She gets annoyed when the troublemaker in class is awarded the reading award when he is not even trying.
If they were awards for "reading improvement" then cool but they're not supposed to be.



theresaphilly
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 2:12 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting Starshine-bela:

It seems to be a mindset with parents these days. No such thing as winning or losing so no real chance to fail and thus no real chance to improve. It's unfair if one's child doesn't get a trophy or medal just because another child did. I don't agree with this mind set. I believe in teaching my child to work hard and failing if necessary just so he can learn to improve. His karate teacher teaches black belt ethics. For the one titled effort, he teaches the kids, "winners never quit and quitters never win. Always work hard and try your best." We practice this at home too.



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