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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

This is an obvious spin off from the post about attendance awards. 

I already said in that post I don't think they really encourage the kids with poor attendance to come to school more so they don't really help attendance problems. 

But as I read through the thread I was struck by how many moms thought it was unfair or even cruel for some kids to be given this award since their own child wouldn't be getting it. 

But isn't that true for any award? What would the point be of award if everyone got it?

Should we stop giving sports awards because the less coordinated kids will be sad they didn't get it? Is an art award unfair to the students who don't draw well?

The bigger question is really why are kids upset if their classmates get something they don't? Not receiving an award isn't a punishment. But somehow it seems to be interpreted that way but students and parents. Of course a young child may feel a little disappointment when he or she sees a classmate get to take home a certificate or trophy. But as parents isn't it our job to teach them they should be happy for the other child and help them realize that everyone has different strengths?

One my struggling students is working to earn perfect attendance this year. He has his own alarm clock in his room and gets up and out to the bus 10 minutes early every day because he knows if he misses the bus he can't get to school. He earned perfect attendance last year and the trophy sits on a shelf in the middle of the living room. Anyone who comes over is shown the trophy the second they walk through the door. This award gave him something to be proud of.  He comes to school every day and watches his classmates out score him on every test and assignments. So when he got to walk up on that stage to get his trophy it was a huge accomplishment to him. 

So if you think it's so cruel your kid didn't get an award because they got sick a few times maybe you should consider just being happy for the kids that did get it. 

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:12 AM
Replies (31-40):
aetrom
by Gold Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 2:34 PM
It is sad that parents feel it is a sign of them instead of achievements their child has done... Or not done....

When my son was dealing with disappointment in school I gently reminded him that although he may not be as talented as others in that area there will come a time when he will excel when others struggle. That gas already happened and I have to remind him to remember how he felt.... :)
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quickbooksworm
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 2:48 PM
2 moms liked this

I think the "everyone gets a trophy" mentality is ridiculous.  In reality, that mentality means that no one wins.  In life there are winners and losers.  We aren't doing our kids any favors by perpetuating this mentality.

I have no issue with attendance awards.  Imagine what it will look like on job applications in the future if this kid has perfect attendance for 10 years straight.  As an employer, I'll pick that applicant over someone with a 4.0 GPA because I know they will be there.

1234abcd4321
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 2:50 PM

lol the worst part about the 'everyone gets a trophy' thing is that your kid comes home with a friggin dust collector for every activity!  ;)

i agree with the OP for the most part.


Quoting Mama2ETA:

 I cannot stand the entitled mentality. Not everyone is a winner at everything. Everyone has their day to shine. I hate *yes, hate* when they give every child in sports a trophy or medal. It defeats the purpose. Isn't the purpose to show those that thrived in that area how amazing they did? For attendance, it IS the same thing. Yes, some kids get sick, some have bad immune systems (my 1st grader and K have missed school both years for my 1st grader and this year for my K because they get sick easily) but it doesn't matter. The kids who are at school every day deserve to be rewarded for their constant effort!



nataliesmom2012
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 2:52 PM
I really dislike that people think everyone should be awarded. That's not how it works in the real world and its setting children up for failure. I think perfect attendance awards are a great incentive. I graduated with a girl who had perfect attendance from the time we were in kindergarten. She got a full scholarship for it.
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Mama2ETA
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:09 PM

 My kids get sick a lot. Severely sick (like breathing issues). So they are home often. I don't have any problem at all with the award. Although, my kids don't get butt-hurt over awards. They know (because we taught them) that not everyone can shine all the time. My youngest got a "bucket buster" award for filling the most buckets (being kind) and my oldest is always doing things for others. The difference? My younger son was feeling insecure about some rowdy(problem) kids and has made the biggest improvements of acceptance and giving to those kids. My oldest (at 7) understood he would have his day to shine.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I'm one of the anti~attendance awards people.

Like Teri pointed out,how fair is that to a child with a chronic illness? Or that REALLY gets sick?

I'm NOT one to say everyone is entitled...not in the least but the teachers know who is sick and who takes "mental health days" and a kid shouldn't be punsihed for getting sick.

I have a friend who's kids are in public school. That award means so much to her oldest that. She does go to school sick and waits to get sent home because then its not connsidered an absence @@ She will cry and go iinto hysterics if her mom. Wants her to stay home...totally insane!

 

snowangel1979
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:19 PM
It's not even in 10 years, some of these kids have already hit the workforce.

Every year DH has a couple new hires that come in, hired as labors.

They don't understand why they have to actually labor. A lot of them don't last 2 weeks because they have to work and not get paid for sitting around or they don't show up and then wonder why they didn't get paid or got fired.
They want to start as the boss and want to know why does DH gets to sit in a truck or drive the truck or machine, why can't I decide when It's break time, Ect.

Umm because DH was here working when you were probably in middle school. DH isn't sitting in the truck, he's ordering materials or talking to the owner or homeowners. You don't have a cdl and he's not sticking a 18 years old with no experience on heavy machinery that cost a lot of money to fix next to a 1/2 million+ dollar house or building. ( Those are answers he's actually had to give to a mother of a worker who was around 21)


Quoting Mama2ETA:

 Also, this mentality is setting up their kids to have culture shock and have a higher failure rate when they go into the real world. I hate to see what work ethic is going to mean in 10-20 years. Makes me very sad.


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Cindy18
by Cruella on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:33 PM

Why is it a punishment to NOT get an award? It's not a punishment to the kid that doesn't get the award, it's an AWARD for the child that gets one.

As for your friend's kid, the mom should put her foot down if the child is sick. That is ridiculous to let your kid go to school sick for anything, let alone an attendance award.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I'm one of the anti~attendance awards people.

Like Teri pointed out,how fair is that to a child with a chronic illness? Or that REALLY gets sick?

I'm NOT one to say everyone is entitled...not in the least but the teachers know who is sick and who takes "mental health days" and a kid shouldn't be punsihed for getting sick.

I have a friend who's kids are in public school. That award means so much to her oldest that. She does go to school sick and waits to get sent home because then its not connsidered an absence @@ She will cry and go iinto hysterics if her mom. Wants her to stay home...totally insane!


Cindy18
by Cruella on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:38 PM

Was the teacher talking to the whole class to encourage better attendance or did she specifically single out your kid knowing your kid couldn't help his attendance? There's a big difference, IMO. If it was to the whole class then you are over reacting because just because it doesn't apply to your kid doesn't mean others shouldn't be encouraged. 

As for the middle school and the dance, I think if you went to the principle, you could get your kid exempt from the attendance part because it a medical condition.

Quoting teri4lance:

I don't think it's cruel. That said, what I personally had an issue with was the teachers telling the kids if they tried harder they could get it too, and went on and on about handwashing and eating right etc. ya know, when your kid has a chronic disease, like crohn's, and has to have infusions that take take 4 hours, and he has to have them every 8 weeks - he's not going to get perfect attendance no matter how many times he washes his hands or how many apples a day he eats. That irritated me.

And now the middle school is tying perfect attendance and no disciplinary referrals into a dance. so now my child will be lumped together with the trouble makers because of a condition outside his control. That I have an issue with. An award at the end of the year or 9-weeks? Go for it! Honor those who earned it most definitely - but don't berate and lecture and exclude those who didn't - because some of these kids have no choice.


Bethsunshine
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:43 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm so sick of the mentality that if everyone can't do it/get it/afford it, etc. then NO ONE should!!  Real life is nothing like this! You don't necessarily get the job because you showed up for the interview, and you don't necessarily get the promotion because you punched the clock every day. The whole no score-keeping, everybody wins crap is turning kids into a bunch of entitled sissies who don't know how to handle disappointment and rejection.




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Thelmama
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:45 PM

I personally don't believe in rewarding for perfect attendance. I think it should be academic based only. Just beause your bottom is in the seat doesn't mean you are learning or working and if you have poor attendance and poor grades (not saying that about your kid) you do not deserve an award. I think ONLY academic achievements should be awarded and character awards.  Good character and good grades are for more important in my opinion that perfect attendance.

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