im pretty fed up

[ma1234]

Everyday is a challenge with my son. He gets mad when I wake him for school. He doesn't clean his room. He don't like to wash up or brush his teeth. He got a negative attitude. He gets mad at everything I tell him to do. I wish he could go stay with his dad for awhile, because he's recking my nerves. I just don't know wat to do with him.

[GotSomeKids]

My kids once (just once) asked me why I'm mean and not nice like their friends.  I sat them down and told them the following:

I'm your mother, not your friend.  Will I be nice sometimes yes, but not always.  It is not my job to be nice.  It is my job to make sure you are safe, educated and functional.  You don't understand all that because your too young.  But, momma has lived a lot longer than both of you combined and I'm trying to show you how to learn from your mistakes and from your successes and to avoid some of the things I had to go through.  I am not mean, I am firm.  Understand, that whether I'm "mean" or "nice" I do it because I love you.

Mind you, it helps if that is said when everyone is in a good place, in a firm, but loving tone.  After some time to ponder all that (a few weeks), they took it pretty well.  I try when I can remember to revisit a few weeks later and ask if they understood what I was trying to say.

Quoting ma1234:

Iam going to rent those books thank you. I thawt I was, doing something wrong also, but idk I try to be nice all the time