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Introduction and a question

Posted by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:44 PM
  • 12 Replies

Hi, I'm new to Cafe moms,  I have a 12 year old daughter in 6th grade and a 10 year old son in 4th grade.  My son is always telling me that  no one likes him.  The school counselor said as long as one kid likes him then that's good.  I was at my daughters basketball game and ended up sitting by a little girl in my sons class I started talking to her about liking my son.  Her response was oooh, I don't like him he's so annoying.  I asked her what she meant and she said he never shut up and was always goofing around.  What do I do? This girl said nobody likes him.  This upsets me to no end.  How can I help him?  He is very talkative.


by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Jessiejack
by Bronze Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:54 PM
1 mom liked this

First off that child is rude. And if that was my daughter I would kill her for talking to any adult that way. It sounds to me like it's the other kids in the class that are rude and snobs. Sorry but I have always taught my daughter that you are nice to everyone. I might have a heart to heart with your son and see what he thinks. Keep in mind you were talking to a girl and at that age most girls don't like boys.

amonkeymom
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:27 PM

Welcome to the group!

I have a talkative one as well (my teenager) and she was diagnosed with adhd at around your son's age, one of the symptoms was her constant need to blurt out every thought. 

I'm not saying your son has adhd, because I'm not an expert, but it might be something to look into and you also might want to sit him down and explain to him that it's not good to not let others have a chance to talk too.

Quoting Blainebaby:

Hi, I'm new to Cafe moms,  I have a 12 year old daughter in 6th grade and a 10 year old son in 4th grade.  My son is always telling me that  no one likes him.  The school counselor said as long as one kid likes him then that's good.  I was at my daughters basketball game and ended up sitting by a little girl in my sons class I started talking to her about liking my son.  Her response was oooh, I don't like him he's so annoying.  I asked her what she meant and she said he never shut up and was always goofing around.  What do I do? This girl said nobody likes him.  This upsets me to no end.  How can I help him?  He is very talkative.



steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:31 PM

I agree that the little girl was very rude, but you did put her in an awkward place by asking her what she thought of your son.  Have you tried talking to him about acceptable behavior and boundaries?

countrygirlkat
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:34 PM

Welcome to Cafe Mom and the group!  My kids are younger then yours so I am not sure this will work but I would try to find one friend who he kind of likes that maybe you can do play dates with(they probably aren't called that at that age anymore, lol).  If he is able to get to know the kid in a more one on one setting maybe he will at least get one good friend. 

coolmommy2x
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:55 PM
I would talk to the teacher and ask about his behaviors. Maybe ask the student support counselor to investigate. Ours did this for us, he watched DS for a period of time and reported how many times he fidgeted, talked when he shouldn't have, etc. It was eye opening. From that we were able to put a plan into place to help him be successful in class. We also have Lunch Bunch where the kid who is struggling has lunch with the counselor and gets to invite 2 other kids so they can chat and hang out in a smaller, quieter setting.

Have you asked him why he's so talkative and goofing around? If he's doing it all the time, I can see why the other kids would be annoyed. Perhaps get him involved in sports or othr activities where he can make friends in a smaller setting.

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corrinacs
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Justt what coolmommy2x said, I coudln't have said it better myself.  Now that you have confirmation that your son isn't making it up, you may want to speak to the teacher and counselor.  I don't think there's anything "wrong" with him perse, I just don't think that he realizes what about his personality others find jolting :).  They should be able to steer him in the right direction :) :)

Good luck!


Quoting coolmommy2x:

I would talk to the teacher and ask about his behaviors. Maybe ask the student support counselor to investigate. Ours did this for us, he watched DS for a period of time and reported how many times he fidgeted, talked when he shouldn't have, etc. It was eye opening. From that we were able to put a plan into place to help him be successful in class. We also have Lunch Bunch where the kid who is struggling has lunch with the counselor and gets to invite 2 other kids so they can chat and hang out in a smaller, quieter setting.

Have you asked him why he's so talkative and goofing around? If he's doing it all the time, I can see why the other kids would be annoyed. Perhaps get him involved in sports or othr activities where he can make friends in a smaller setting.




Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:32 PM

Kudos to the lttle girl for her honesty! Really people think she is rude for answering a direct question honestly? Would you rather she lied and Mom not have clue?

Now tha you have SOME information, have a meeting with the teacher and get her impression. I know my Ds had problms with this also becuse of not understanding personal space. He is very jumpy/active and would get really cloes to other kid whih made them uncomfortable. As he has matured, it has gotten much better.

I would also bet DS has learned that if he goofs off and acts silly, people will at least laugh with him and that makes him feel accepted and helps break the tension but it's a safety mechanism that doesnt solve the problem.

Jinx - Homeschooling, Scouting & Karate butt-kicking  Mom to Star Scout Ian 1/98, Scout Sean 9/00, Junior GS Heidi 4/03. Wife to Joe & Alpha to German Shepherd Spazz.

soymujer
by Mikki on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:46 PM

welcome

family in the van   Mom of four


Karen_S
by Bronze Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:18 PM

Welcome!  There is a great book that I read called The Unwritten Rules of Friendship. It talks about different types of kids and why each type might have problems making and keeping friends, and ways that you can talk to them about it and work on it. 


mandyj573
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:55 PM
1 mom liked this

 Welcome to the group!

Honestly, this was my first thought as well. I watch my son go from an outcast to quite popular in a matter of months after starting his ADHD medications. Last year he had NO friends. This year he has many! Good luck with your journey.


Quoting amonkeymom:

Welcome to the group!

I have a talkative one as well (my teenager) and she was diagnosed with adhd at around your son's age, one of the symptoms was her constant need to blurt out every thought. 

I'm not saying your son has adhd, because I'm not an expert, but it might be something to look into and you also might want to sit him down and explain to him that it's not good to not let others have a chance to talk too.

Quoting Blainebaby:

Hi, I'm new to Cafe moms,  I have a 12 year old daughter in 6th grade and a 10 year old son in 4th grade.  My son is always telling me that  no one likes him.  The school counselor said as long as one kid likes him then that's good.  I was at my daughters basketball game and ended up sitting by a little girl in my sons class I started talking to her about liking my son.  Her response was oooh, I don't like him he's so annoying.  I asked her what she meant and she said he never shut up and was always goofing around.  What do I do? This girl said nobody likes him.  This upsets me to no end.  How can I help him?  He is very talkative.

 



 

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