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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Should I get my daughter tested for ADHD!

Posted by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:17 AM
  • 24 Replies
I'm really confused with this. Is it just apart of life or is everyday a battle? Of course the good out weighs the bad but.... She's very "mean" wants her way, will kick, scream, and hit. When I'm with my mom or family she will NOT listen to me. At home it's about every half hour to hour that something wrong or she's throwing a fit or mad or crying. She's active with gymnastics, polite in public unless she's having a "bad day". My husband keeps telling this can't keep happening. Ill have to force her off the iPad and cartoons and she just doesn't know what to do with herself. She will repeat things over and over and over. I've tried time outs and she just screams and cries and says nobody loves her ! Where does she get this from!!!!!! I'm very affectionate towards her. I tell her how much I love her and that she's so beautiful and can be anything she wants to be when she grows up. She's also VERY sensitive. Very. Any help? Anyone out there that has a child with ADHD? What were your child's signs?
Thanks in advance.

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by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:17 AM
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fullofhope1
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:23 AM
Anyone? I'm just nervous :/
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Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:37 AM
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That suonds like more of a spoiled brat than ADHD. ADHD kids generally cant focus, are over active and don't understand personal boundaries but aren't mean about it. Most often it would become frustration and Ds might raide his voice but never hit, stomp, etc.

What arethe consequences when she acts out? Have you picked a punishment style and been 100% (ok - honestly who can be? but 90% consistant) with it?

Being bored without electronics is a common problem these days. kids haven't been taught to use their imaginations and play independently. moms think they always need to schedule everything or keep the kids busy - well they can't learn to entertain themselves that way.

Jinx - Homeschooling, Scouting & Karate butt-kicking  Mom to Star Scout Ian 1/98, Scout Sean 9/00, Junior GS Heidi 4/03. Wife to Joe & Alpha to German Shepherd Spazz.

fullofhope1
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:46 AM
Thanks for replying. I should add some stuff. She cries at the drop of a hat. She's very emotional. I put her in her room with no tv and no electronics and she will kick the door and get real angry. Actually if it is her just being a spoiled brat is be happy to hear that. She's had a hard time listening when we have conversations. I do make her play on her own though. I'm in college and when it's my homework time it's her time to play with her toys or color. She plays on an iPad once a day and watched a few cartoons she's interested in. Some days she can be good and most days it's just hell sometimes. She's very active ..... Always interrupts me as well... She has weird habits. Maybe they are normal though? Like she can't stop moving even when she's sitting down and has a very hard time sleeping with no naps even. Thank for your input

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

That suonds like more of a spoiled brat than ADHD. ADHD kids generally cant focus, are over active and don't understand personal boundaries but aren't mean about it. Most often it would become frustration and Ds might raide his voice but never hit, stomp, etc.

What arethe consequences when she acts out? Have you picked a punishment style and been 1005 (ok - honestly who can be? but 90% consistant) with it?

Being bored without electronics is a common problem these days. kids haven't been taught to use their imaginations and play independently. moms think they always need to schedule everything or keep the kids busy - well they can't learn to entertain themselves that way.

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Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:16 AM
1 mom liked this


Sleep issues and always moving, shaking are common with ADHD

Other things like anger issues might be signs of different issues, not necessarily ADHD or might just need som discipline.

My personal philosophy on getting a child tested for something is ... What will you do with the result? Are you willing to medicate? Would you make drastic food/diet changes? Occupational/Behavioral therapy? etc.

I medicated DS when he was in 1st grade in pubic school.  He was better able to focus but it didnt fix everything and we paid for it by him having major meltdowns in the afternoons once the meds wore off. He also started using ADHD it as an excuse to avoid work. That sure didn't fly. I did major diet changes of limiting  cutting as much as possible) sugar and food coloring and really that didn't make much of a difference for him.

We eventually pulled him out of public school a few weeks before summer because he was being bullied and abused mentally by the teacher. He came home asking, "Why did god make me stupid?" I asked him why he thought that and he said, "Cuz Mrs. M said so!"  BEST decission ever. We stopped the meds, modified his schedule so that he could sleep in as needed, replaced his desk chair with an exercise ball and got him up moving much of the day. He's a TOTALLY different kid!

Fast forward - hes now in7th grade,  not medicated and doing spectacularly! He still gets easily distracted but has learned ways to cope. We got report cards from the charter school yesterday ... 3 As and 2 Bs! SO PROUD!

Quoting fullofhope1:

She's very active ..... Always interrupts me as well... She has weird habits. Maybe they are normal though? Like she can't stop moving even when she's sitting down and has a very hard time sleeping with no naps even. Thank for your input

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

That suonds like more of a spoiled brat than ADHD. ADHD kids generally cant focus, are over active and don't understand personal boundaries but aren't mean about it. Most often it would become frustration and Ds might raide his voice but never hit, stomp, etc.

What arethe consequences when she acts out? Have you picked a punishment style and been 1005 (ok - honestly who can be? but 90% consistant) with it?

Being bored without electronics is a common problem these days. kids haven't been taught to use their imaginations and play independently. moms think they always need to schedule everything or keep the kids busy - well they can't learn to entertain themselves that way.



Jinx - Homeschooling, Scouting & Karate butt-kicking  Mom to Star Scout Ian 1/98, Scout Sean 9/00, Junior GS Heidi 4/03. Wife to Joe & Alpha to German Shepherd Spazz.

fullofhope1
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:25 AM
That's my problem.... My husband is wanting me to go through the process which I don't even know where to start with that. But I've been holding it off for months now!!!! Bc I don't want my daughter to be medicated. And no offense to anyone!!!! We all have our own opinions. So are you saying lots of physical activity helped? If so what are some ideas when it's cold! I wish there was a gym me and her could do together. She won't focus on wii dance or at least thinks I'm judging her which I am not. And wow I'm in school for teaching so you would think I should know some of this but ill tell you what... That's awful what happened to you. I'm entered college to make a difference even if it's one kid or one person.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:


Sleep issues and always moving, shaking are common with ADHD

Other things like anger issues might be signs of different issues, not necessarily ADHD or might just need som discipline.

My personal philosophy on getting a child tested for something is ... What will you do with the result? Are you willing to medicate? Would you make drastic food/diet changes? Occupational/Behavioral therapy? etc.

I medicated DS when he was in 1st grade in pubic school.  He was better able to focus but it didnt fix everything and we paid for it by him having major meltdowns in the afternoons once the meds wore off. He also started using ADHD it as an excuse to avoid work. That sure didn't fly. I did major diet changes of limiting  cutting as much as possible) sugar and food coloring and really that didn't make much of a difference for him.

We eventually pulled him out of public school a few weeks before summer because he was being bullied and abused mentally by the teacher. He came home asking, "Why did god make me stupid?" I asked him why he thought that and he said, "Cuz Mrs. M said so!"  BEST decission ever. We stopped the meds, modified his schedule so that he could sleep in as needed, replaced his desk chair with an exercise ball and got him up moving much of the day. He's a TOTALLY different kid!

Fast forward - hes now in7th grade,  not medicated and doing spectacularly! He still gets easily distracted but has learned ways to cope. We got report cards from the charter school yesterday ... 3 As and 2 Bs! SO PROUD!

Quoting fullofhope1:

She's very active ..... Always interrupts me as well... She has weird habits. Maybe they are normal though? Like she can't stop moving even when she's sitting down and has a very hard time sleeping with no naps even. Thank for your input



Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

That suonds like more of a spoiled brat than ADHD. ADHD kids generally cant focus, are over active and don't understand personal boundaries but aren't mean about it. Most often it would become frustration and Ds might raide his voice but never hit, stomp, etc.

What arethe consequences when she acts out? Have you picked a punishment style and been 1005 (ok - honestly who can be? but 90% consistant) with it?

Being bored without electronics is a common problem these days. kids haven't been taught to use their imaginations and play independently. moms think they always need to schedule everything or keep the kids busy - well they can't learn to entertain themselves that way.




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Lslk
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 6:56 AM

My child has ADHD. I had her tested because of learning issues. However, she would act like this to some degree. She has always listened to me now matter where we were but sometimes it would be harder to get her attention to listen to me. If the only reason you want to have her tested for ADHD is this kind of behavior then by all means have her tested. It won't hurt to have her tested. But this sounds more like she is spoiled and likes to get her way.

STVUstudent
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:14 AM

Your daughter sounds like a combination of both of my daughters- shake them up in a bottle, and you see what I have.

What I did...

the oldest one, who has many of your daughter's behavioral issues... we started treating it like the temper tantrums and manipulative behavior it appeared to be... oh yeah... that was it, all right.  Time out and other "corrective" efforts only work if they are employed consistently, every time, the same way, with no excuses or exceptions.  It has been incredibly hard, but we are finally seeing some improvement.

The youngest DOES have ADHD, and we finally had to resort to medication.  It is helping some.  She would LITERALLY spin in place, flailing her arms and legs, totally unable to control her body... always in motion, in your face, in your space... it was making US crazy.  She had incredible focus at times- when she had headphones on, listening to music...

A few things that have helped all three kids- more sleep- earlier bed time- just matter of fact, this is what time we are going to bed... 7:00 most days- they are 5, 5, and 4.  Another thing is the elimination (near elimination, anyway) of artificial colors and flavors- red dye is the worst, for us.  We can tell if they get it, no question.  Headphones- ocean sounds for big girl, music for baby girl (she LOVES '80s technorock, like Men Without Hats).  The boy seems pretty mellow so far.

It really sounds like most of your daughter's behaviors are temper... I would address it that way first...

wakymom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:31 AM

 Sounds to me like a combination. Ds1 is ADHD. He would interrupt, talk non-stop (and his volume when talking is a bit loud- not sure how much of that is ADHD and how much is his dad being hard of hearing), repeat himself, not knowing when to stop w/ a joke, some part of him always in motion when sitting, easily distracted, did focus on one thing for very long, impulsive, constantly touching things in stores, more sensitive/emotional, more socially immature than others his age. . . He was diagnosed in 2nd gr, but we did not medicate until the summer before 6th when it was had really affected his schoolwork in 5th.

Consistent discipline helps w/ the throwing fits. Doesn't necessarily help w/ the distractablility, but getting the fits to stop (or at least be less frequent) makes life a lot easier. It might take you a little while to find what works best w/ her, and she will test you on it, but it does help.

There is nothing wrong w/ getting her tested for ADHD. A diagnosis does not mean you have to medicate. That choice is yours. What it does mean is that you can get get help for her if needed in school and work w/ someone (if you want) to learn ways to help her cope outside of school (and you to learn to cope w/ her).

Some parents find that martial arts helps b/c it teaches focus and self-discipline. I would love to try it w/ ds1, but dh is against it, so we haven't.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Verrine
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:45 AM

WHY don't you want to medicate? If she had poor vision, you'd get her glasses so that she could see better. My thing is that what you're doing ISN'T working, so you need to try something else. The constant moving is a hallmark of ADHD. My son constantly makes noise, even medicated. He is squirmy, but less so while medicated. The emotional issues could be due to lack of impulse control. She starts feeling a certain way and it rapidly escalates.

He was not diagnosed in Kindergarten and apparently spent every day crying. He got in trouble for behavior. He would be fine and then in a full-out fit. There was no time for intervention. He was frustrated by everything that went wrong. He was medicated for 1st grade and got a behavior award! I really wish we had medicated for kindergarten so that he hadn't been so miserable and felt bad about himself.

If you are curious about whether she fits ADHD criteria, search for Vanderbilt ADHD Parent Questionnaire. You and your husband should fill it out separately. Different people notice and are bothered by different things. This is the diagnostic tool that the doctor will use.

fullofhope1
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:47 AM
Thx I will do that :/

Quoting Verrine:

WHY don't you want to medicate? If she had poor vision, you'd get her glasses so that she could see better. My thing is that what you're doing ISN'T working, so you need to try something else. The constant moving is a hallmark of ADHD. My son constantly makes noise, even medicated. He is squirmy, but less so while medicated. The emotional issues could be due to lack of impulse control. She starts feeling a certain way and it rapidly escalates.


He was not diagnosed in Kindergarten and apparently spent every day crying. He got in trouble for behavior. He would be fine and then in a full-out fit. There was no time for intervention. He was frustrated by everything that went wrong. He was medicated for 1st grade and got a behavior award! I really wish we had medicated for kindergarten so that he hadn't been so miserable and felt bad about himself.


If you are curious about whether she fits ADHD criteria, search for Vanderbilt ADHD Parent Questionnaire. You and your husband should fill it out separately. Different people notice and are bothered by different things. This is the diagnostic tool that the doctor will use.

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