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Should I get my daughter tested for ADHD!

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I'm really confused with this. Is it just apart of life or is everyday a battle? Of course the good out weighs the bad but.... She's very "mean" wants her way, will kick, scream, and hit. When I'm with my mom or family she will NOT listen to me. At home it's about every half hour to hour that something wrong or she's throwing a fit or mad or crying. She's active with gymnastics, polite in public unless she's having a "bad day". My husband keeps telling this can't keep happening. Ill have to force her off the iPad and cartoons and she just doesn't know what to do with herself. She will repeat things over and over and over. I've tried time outs and she just screams and cries and says nobody loves her ! Where does she get this from!!!!!! I'm very affectionate towards her. I tell her how much I love her and that she's so beautiful and can be anything she wants to be when she grows up. She's also VERY sensitive. Very. Any help? Anyone out there that has a child with ADHD? What were your child's signs?
Thanks in advance.

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by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:17 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:55 AM
1 mom liked this

 My 7 year old has had behavioral and attention problems and while I think alot of hers is she hates change and we are a military family and she gets bored super easy, I have noticed keeping her active daily and taking dyes out has helped her.  On rainy days we turn on music and I dance with the kids, that way they dont feel I am judging thier dances.  I dance exagerated movements and they all laugh at me. 

We did an add questionaire and it came back from us and her teacher as inconclusive.  She was all over the board and didnt have anything but had indicators of several different things.  So when we moved and left therapy, she started acting out again and I decided to start the diet we are on now and lots of activity and she is behaving better and is better in her class which is one day a week.

by Mikki on Jan. 31, 2013 at 5:54 PM

Doesn't sound like ADHD.  We just diagnosed my 7 year old with ADD and he's none of that.  Just can't focus.

family in the van   Mom of four

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:06 PM

Talk with your child's teacher about filling out the ADHD checklists available.  They can be reviewed by the school psychologist who may be able to offer options.  While I have never had the behavioral issues you face, we did this for my oldest in third grade and fpound it very informative.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:10 PM

You can go to your pediatrician and get some paperwork to give to her teacher and fill out yourself , then the pediatrician will determine a referral.  But it sounds just behavioral from what ur saying. Either way, its safe to go to your Dr. and see if you can get a referral out to see if there is something going on or if she is just acting out to get attention.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:17 PM

Wow. This is my child exactly accept poor fine motor skills. She can't write worth a flip.

We dx after 3rd but haven't medicated yet.  (she's in 5th) I may end up medicating in 6th also b/c the school work has gotten really difficult to deal with and it's only going to get worse.

OP, That doesn't sound like ADHD to me but I do agree that it does seem like something else is going on.

Quoting wakymom:

 Sounds to me like a combination. Ds1 is ADHD. He would interrupt, talk non-stop (and his volume when talking is a bit loud- not sure how much of that is ADHD and how much is his dad being hard of hearing), repeat himself, not knowing when to stop w/ a joke, some part of him always in motion when sitting, easily distracted, did focus on one thing for very long, impulsive, constantly touching things in stores, more sensitive/emotional, more socially immature than others his age. . . He was diagnosed in 2nd gr, but we did not medicate until the summer before 6th when it was had really affected his schoolwork in 5th.

Consistent discipline helps w/ the throwing fits. Doesn't necessarily help w/ the distractablility, but getting the fits to stop (or at least be less frequent) makes life a lot easier. It might take you a little while to find what works best w/ her, and she will test you on it, but it does help.

There is nothing wrong w/ getting her tested for ADHD. A diagnosis does not mean you have to medicate. That choice is yours. What it does mean is that you can get get help for her if needed in school and work w/ someone (if you want) to learn ways to help her cope outside of school (and you to learn to cope w/ her).

Some parents find that martial arts helps b/c it teaches focus and self-discipline. I would love to try it w/ ds1, but dh is against it, so we haven't.







by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:13 PM

I wouldn't have her tested specifically for any one thing.  Take her to a good child psychologist or psychiatrist and have her evaluated.

And don't rule out meds.  I went into to process of having my son evaluated with an attitude of "I would never medicate my child" and ended up feeling like the worst mother in the world when I watched him go from the bad kid who hated school and ended up hating himself for being the bad kid to a happy confident child who was successful in the classroom and most importantly had friends with the help of meds.  I wish I had been open to them sooner so he wouldn't have suffered so much.

The meds weren't a miracle cure: his psychologist, a great teacher, great school administration, maturity and a lot of effort on his part (and maybe I get a little credit) all were parts of his success.  But I really don't think he could have made it without the focus that his meds gave him.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:02 PM

Why not get an evaluation?  I don't see a down side. If it is  ADHD, you don't need to medicate unless you decide it is right for her. But you can start educating yourself about techniques that can work with ADHD kids. If it is something else besides ADHD, you can learn that.  And if she has no diagnosis, then you can stop wondering. 

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:36 AM

you said she is polite in public so that is where I think the conflict with adhd behaviors come in. A child with an actual neurological disorder is not able to control where these behaviors happen. I do not think your child is ADHD my dd is and she has no control over fidgeting and restlessness and impulsive behavior, following directions are hard for her because short term memory problems associated with ADHD makes it hard for her to remember more than one or two directions at a time. However, I am not qualified to say she is just spoiled nor would I make that judgement she may possibly have ODD or a conduct disorder you should google Oppostional Defiance Disorder also look up things on executive functioning. ADHD behaviors are so varied so she could infact be ADHD but it certainly doesnt sound like any of the things that I witness with my dd or that I have read about during my years of doing research on it. Good luck I hope you find some answers  

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:44 AM
My son does everything you described. Throw in a little speech delay and repetitive phrases and that's him. He has a horrible temper and a very short attention span. We've tried just about everything discipline wise. The only thing that seems to make any difference is if we give him warnings before any changes. Ex. Bedtime is in five minutes instead of ok time for bed. His pediatrician recommended that he be screened for autism so we are in the process of doing that.
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by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:50 AM

My BA is in Psychology with a focus on child developmental and behavioral Psych. Honestly it sounds more like ODD:

Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is a diagnosis described by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) as an ongoing pattern of anger guided disobedience, hostilely defiant behavior toward authority figures which goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior. Children suffering from this disorder may appear very stubborn and often angry.

Behavioral features

Common features of oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) include excessive, often persistent anger, frequent temper tantrums or angry outbursts, as well as disregard for authority. Children and adolescents with ODD often purposely annoy others, blame others for their own mistakes, and are easily disturbed. Parents often observe more rigid and irritable behaviors than in siblings.[2] In addition, these young people may appear resentful of others and when someone does something they don't like they prefer taking revenge more than sensitive solutions.[3]

For a child or adolescent to qualify for a diagnosis of ODD these behaviors must cause considerable distress for the family and/or interfere significantly with academic or social functioning. Interference might take the form of preventing the child or adolescent from learning at school or making friends, or placing him or her in harmful situations. These behaviors must also persist for at least six months. Effects of ODD can be greatly amplified by other disorders in comorbidity such asADHD.[4] Other common comorbid disorders include depression and substance use disorders.[5]

[edit]Signs and symptoms

Some signs and symptoms that must be perpetuated for longer than 6 months and must be considered beyond normal child behavior to fit the diagnosis are:[6][7]

The child must exhibit 4 out of the 8 signs and symptoms listed below in order to meet the DSM-IV-TR diagnostic threshold for oppositional defiant disorder[8]

  • Actively refuses to comply with majority's requests or consensus-supported rules[9]
  • Performs actions to deliberately annoy others[9]
  • Angry and resentful of others[7]
  • Argues often[7]
  • Blames others for his or her own mistakes[10]
  • Often loses temper[10]
  • Touchy or easily annoyed[10]
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