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Busy Child, Need Some Parental Advice

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Yes, I am an elementary parent but I am also a teacher.  Sometimes, I need to hear other parents advice on how to approach certain situations.  Im a first grade teacher.

Well, I have a student (2nd week in my class).  He was in there before back in October/November but transferred.  He was then taken out of that school and homeschooled.  Then he came back to my school.  This seems to be an ongoing trend with him.

Problem:  The student has very little self control.  It's first grade so I do allow my students opportunity to move, crawl, jump, go to centers or whatever is necessary to release their energy.  He however is non stop.  He can not stay still for 1 minute.  During carpet time or whole group time, he is crawling around the floor, under the tables, to the back of the room and back.  When sitting at the table, he is banging pencils, rattling the crayon cups or cutting up stuff with scissors.  I have a really good class but he is a distraction to my other children.  Even the kids are starting to tell him to stop banging that, get off the floor.  Ms. Bush, Jaylin is under the table.

I tried speaking to his mom about it and she just says, well thats why we homeschooled because he is busy.  He was born busy.  You just have to work around him.

Well I am not sure if any of you are educators but that is just not how schedule works.  I can not allow him to just go crawl under tables until he feels like he is ready to sit down.  He is not completing assignments and often just wonders around the room while the other students are working.

I am trying to compromise with mom without sounding like a bitch.  So if anyone of you are homeschool moms or have been through this with your children/teachers.  Can you please give me suggestions on how to work with this student and parent?  Did I come off wrong saying he was busy?  ---  I have been teaching 8 years and I honestly have never had a student like this.  He is not a bad child by no means but he is extremely busy and I have some busy students but he outdoes them.

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:06 PM
Replies (11-13):
by Mikki on Jan. 31, 2013 at 5:59 PM

I would talk to your school psychologist to get testing done.  Number if things could be wrong.

family in the van   Mom of four

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:52 PM

Thank you so much.  I love that idea of the tokens on his desk.  We have tables and we typically move around alot depending on what group I work with so maybe I can get some sort of daily incentive chart just for him. 

Im just hoping mom is ok with it and wont pull him out. That seems to be the trend.  When she starts getting complaints she pulls him out and moves him to another school or homeschool for a while and sends him back. 

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

Being a homeschool mom of a busy adhd child I totally see both sides of this one. Been there done that - I pulled DS from public school ihn 1st grade because of it and it's the best ting I've ever done for him!  Keeping him in the school would not have been fair to him or the class. It's like trying to pound a squarpegitoa ruond hole.

ADHD kids typically are behind their peers by 1-2 years. add that to the inability to sit still, lack of impulse control and there really isn't much  teacher can do about it. yu have two options - let them wanderr and sneak in lessons as you can, or punish them which generally results in no learning, the child being sent home and no progress.

If you can get the parentson board with a discipline / rewards program that will help. Daily reports home help.

One thing that helped DS IMMENSELY was having three tokens on his desk. One side was red, the other green. He started up with all three green. if he was having problems and needed a reminder, instead of yelling at him, the teacher walked over and flipped a token to red. This caught Ds attention and reminded him to focus. If he had 3 green at the end of the day he got a big reward (extra computer/tv time or stay up later than siblings) at home, if he had 2 green a med. reward (special treat or activity with mom/dad, 1 green a small reward (verbal praise and maybe a small candy) , no green = consequences. I gave the teacher a pad of shaped post-it notes and she would just write the number on one and hand it to Ds as he walked outthe door. If he came home without one, I called the teacher immediately.

Even with this in place, thought it helped, the material just was not sticking in his head.He would sit still, but staring into space instead of wandering and causing trouble. LOL So, I tutored him and retaught him for 1-2 hours every night at home. I did this all year so that he would stay at grade level. Then I called a meeting to get him services. We were denied because DS "wasn't far enouogh behind grade level to qualify."  So Icalled a  meeting to try and get DS services and  the principal says, "I understand parents like you who think the school should deal with their problem (meaning DS) but it's not our job." UMM WHAT?? Yes, providing him services is your job, and NO he's not a problem. He's a child with a medical diagnosis WHO NEEDS HELP! @@ 

Anyway - I walked him out of that meeting and we havent gone back!

He's now a 7th grader with an A/B average and doing wonderfully!

Another option we use was him sitting on an exercise ball instead of a chair. This allows him to wiggle without the chair squeaking and creaking and being a distraction.  it took a little while for him to use it aas aseat and not play with it, but it was so worth it!


by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:57 PM

I totally agree and I definitely am not trying to make him a robot.  The students in my class are always moving around and doing different things.  If he was getting his work done this would not be a problem however he is not getting his work done so it is a problem.  He normally can not answer questions or respond because he is not paying attention.  I can distinguish between the both.  However, its a school and their as to be some sort of self control.  These kinds of things are a distraction to others and is not fair.  I am merely trying to help him because he is getting nothing done.

Quoting Morrigan333:

When my dd was in K, she would be very "active" in class..but when asked what the story was about, the characters, etc..she had the right answers. Sometimes SOME kids just need to learn ttheir way. I just wish educators and institutions would stop trying to make each and every child a robot just like every one before them. Just because they did it this way since the 30's DOESN'T make it okay to STILL do it..the food today have "things" in them that are making these kids AND adults act differently that their parents or grandparents did.


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