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He is too good for his own good.

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:49 AM
  • 14 Replies

DS(5) is such a good kid. Sometimes I forget that. He has been so good about cleaning up his messes. I wish I could say the same about DD(2). I have to go through a whole mess of stuff before I can get her to clean up. 

This morning for instance, I kept getting woken up through out the night, not from my kids, from bad dreams. I just needed to sleep a little longer. I had given DS and DD one pop tart each to hold them over till I could really wake up. When I finally did wake up, I saw that DD and left her pop tart, on the floor, in pieces. I had to go to the bathroom but I told DD to pick up, of course she didn't. DS comes to the bathroom just as I am finishing up and tells me that there are only little pieces that need to be vacuumed up. I asked him if he had picked them up and he said yeah. I asked him why and he said that it was because DD wasn't doing it. 

I was going to hand her the pieces that needed to be thrown away once I was done in the bathroom, didn't get that chance. 

He is way to nice. I am happy that someone picked it up and I am happy that he likes to keep things clean, but if he keeps picking up DD's messes than she will never do it. I am going to take him to do something special this weekend, just him and I. I just need to figure out how to get him to not pick up after DD. It isn't the first time that he has cleaned her stuff up for her. 

Last night they had toys in the living and a little before bedtime I told them to bring them to the room. DD wouldn't. DS brought them to the room and so I asked him to put his toys in the place where they belong, he did. When I was getting DD in the room to get her to do it as well, her toys were not there. DS had put her toys away as well as his own. I just don't know what to do about this. I don't want to discourage him from cleaning, but I want DD to clean up her own messes. I have told him that Keylee needs to clean up her things and he doesn't need to do it. I kind of feel like I am between a rock and a hard place. 

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:49 AM
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by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:15 AM
That's a toughie as I used to be the same way. Now my sister is a slob and her house is always disgusting. I mean REALY deplorable. Bump!
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:51 AM
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Am I reading that right? DD (2)? Are you really complaining about a 2 yr old?

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:53 AM

I would just tell him thank you but from now on let her do it please. She needs to be responsible for her own messes. Then show and help the 2 year old pick up her toys. 

Our God is healer, awesome in power!

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:54 AM

I would just tell him that you're thankful that he is so helpful, but that his sister needs to learn to clean up after herself as well.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:10 PM


That was me....I'm not bragging, but its true.  I'm still like this today, I kind of let ppl walk all over me, but I can't seem to break myself over it (except with my kids and DH....I give them hell LOL).

Talk to him about it and let him know that you are so happy and thankful that he's a neat person.  And that you appreciate the times that he has picked up for his sister as well.  But make sure that knows that you want to instill some cleanliness in her too.  So, ask him to not clean up her messes when you ask HER to do it.  He can encourage her, show her how, etc.....but she's gotta be the one to do the leg work.

Caden is a messy kid, but he's getting better.  As part of his Tae Kwon Do gradutaion, he has to complete a month's worth of chores.  One of them is cleaning up after himself.  He's really good about it now!  We also brought in money.  If the house is a particualr mess between him and his baby brother, I tell him "if you clean up the main floor of toys, I will give you $1".  He does a good job then :).  His favorite thing is using his own money to buy things he wants.  He's done it several times now.  And dont' worry about the ppl behind you, they are actually greatful that someone is teaching some child at 5 about money LOL.  Many teenagers obviously WEREN"T taught that!

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:42 PM

It was kind that he helped.  He wanted it done too so he took action.  I would say nothing but thank you to him. She's 2yr. and has plenty of time to learn to do it herself. Seeing that it's important to you and her bro may make it important to her too.  At 2yr. they are still just easily distracted and not meaning to be messy.  You probably had more time to focus on the first kid because there wasn't another running around too so you unconciously and easily did these things for him or helped him out more.  Now he's helping her out too. She'll eventually catch on and copy the behavior including the helping others behavior.  Next time just show him how he could hep rather than just do it for her.  "Let's teach her how to do it."  The 2 yr. old is far from walking all over him.  She's just being 2yr.  You can put your worries off a couple years.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:55 PM

Aww - what a sweet big brother!  I would just encourage him to help teach his little sister to clean up by maybe making a game out of it.  Maybe he can come up with the game (with a little help from you.)  Afterall, she is only 2, so making clean up 'fun' would probably work best for her age.

Here are a few of ours:

  • Race the Timer (this depends on the child's personality - my son loves it, my daughter hates it)
  • Guess Where It Goes - If the child guesses correctly, the other child puts it away (taking turns)  This works best in our playroom since it's neutral territory.
  • Tidy Tunes - Help your DD put her things away while singing or playing a song of the child's choice - see how many toys she can put away by the end of the song.

Your son can probably do all these things on his own but your 2 year old would probably be more interested if Mommy and/or Big Brother played along.  I still participate in these from time to time with my kids especially when they both seem in a funk and don't want to clean.  It gets them 'happy' but at the same time, the room gets cleaned and the toys get put away.

Another Thought..I keep pails at the bottom of the steps and anything that belongs to them goes in their own pail to be brought up & put away at the end of the day (the empty pail is placed at the top of the steps which I carry back downstairs).

Good luck!

by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:29 PM
Um I think you forgot what a 2 year old is like!! My second is way more orderly than the first but man can he make a mess. Lol
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by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:45 PM

DD is new territory for me. Ds has pretty much always listened well. He has had his moments of course but generally, even at 2 he listened well. I am trying hard to not assumed her to be the same way but sometimes it is hard. 

Quoting aetrom:

Um I think you forgot what a 2 year old is like!! My second is way more orderly than the first but man can he make a mess. Lol

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 5:10 PM

 He may feel important taking care of those things and it may hurt to discourage him.  DD should still get a consequence for not cleaning up after herself .   Put her in time out for 2 minutes and explain why she is there.   DS is just trying to be a good big brother so he gets the special time with mommy this weekend.

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